


Ensaymada Chronicles

by beautiful_as_endless



Series: The Life and Times of Team Hijo de Puta [2]
Category: Heneral Luna (2015)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Reincarnation fic, Team Hijo de Puta is back!, sin tag: everyone!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-11 20:06:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 45,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5640262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beautiful_as_endless/pseuds/beautiful_as_endless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wasn't sure why he was reborn - the wayward son, the spectator of tragedies, the sidekick. From worrying about keeping his friend alive - the general who accidentally caused him to get killed in his past life - why was he now worrying about women all of a sudden?</p><p>[COMPLETE]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gilid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ed Rusca realizes the identity of the girl he's had a crush with for the past couple of months.

_It was a beautiful day - the sun was shining brightly, the fiesta banners fluttering with the wind. He wasn't really supposed to be in this part of Arayat - oh, far from it - but his friends insisted that he should come with them._

_"Eduardo!" shouted his friend, Pio. "Ang bagal mo!"_

_He sighed and shook his head with a smile. "Hindi naman ako pumarito para mang-akit ng mga binibini!"_

_Another of his friends, Fernandino, roared with laughter. "Alam naman naming lahat na doon ka lamang sa panaderia ng ama mo maghapon kung mamarapatin." He patted Rusca's arm. "Paano ka makakahanap ng asawa kung puro pagkain ang iyong inaatupag?"_

_He good-naturedly ignored their teasing and jeers, knowing that they were only looking out for him in their own way. He followed them to the festivities, though he stayed under the shade of an acacia tree instead of dancing with the young women of the village. He didn't find anyone who interested him, sadly._

_That was, at least, until he saw her._

_She was sitting on a bench, watching the festivities with a small, bemused smile. She was beautiful - and not in the conventional way that most men prefered. He wasn't sure how long he observed her until she lifted her gaze and her deep-set eyes locked with his. She gives him a timid smile before her gaze flickers down. He looks away nervously too, feeling his cheeks burn._

_It took him a solid half hour before he could pluck up the courage to introduce himself to her._

_He sits down beside her, taking care to keep his distance so as not to startle her. He meets her gaze, trying to stay calm despite the fluttering of his heart. "Nagulat ba kita, binibini?" he asked softly. "Pasensya na."_

_She smiled again and shook her head. "Hindi naman, ginoo."_

_"Eduardo Rusca," he said, finally feeling brave enough to return her smile. "Anak ako ng panadero sa kabilang bayan."_

_She looks away again, a blush suffusing her cheeks. "Carmena Peralta, nag-aaral maging isang guro."_

**Friday, 11-20-15, 11:00 AM, Tea-rad Pass**

Ed Rusca wasn't really sure how long he's been observing - and crushing on -that woman in the corner. He knew her as a newer regular, flitting in and out of the cafe since late August at the most. He noted that she was quite pretty, and always went out of her way to smile at the staff. She was quite polite though she never struck up any conversation to anyone in the cafe.

He didn't really know what happened, but that was also around the time that he stopped feeling jealous over whatever Goyong and Jay had. That was surprising, as he used to beat himself up over the fact that the boy general managed to win the heart of the woman that kept declining him. Of course, he never had it against them. They were his friends.

His stomach squirms as he touches his bruised neck - a remnant from the fight with Andres Bonifacio's doppleganger. He was told that his injuries didn't look as bad as they originally did, but he still felt a chill whenever he thought of how close he came to dying.

He peered at the woman again, wondering why he found her familiar. Despite knowing most about his past life by the age of fifteen, a lot of things were still a little murky to him - not that he minded. Learning something new about the past was enjoyable.

"Huy." Jay Hernando's voice broke through the storm of his thoughts. "Ang lalim ng iniisip mo."

She smiled and set down some pastries on the glass shelves, humming to herself. How long has it been since the mere sight of her sent butterflies in his stomach?

He subtly motioned toward the woman he's been observing. "Ang familiar kasi niya," he explained softly.

Jay shrugged. "Eh regular na si Ate Nena dito eh. Syempre familiar. Ikaw talaga, Kuya."

It felt like someone dumped a bucket of cold water down Rusca's head when he heard the name. A shudder started at the nape of his neck and travelled down his spine. He ignored Jay's startled look and locked eyes with the woman in question.  _Nena. Carmena. Pakshet._

She gave him a shy grin and he looked away, feeling warm all of a sudden. It felt like the mere mention of her name actually triggered his memories.

The gentle sound of windchimes broke through the moment. Rusca looked up, ready to greet the new customer - and his jaw dropped.  _Why exactly was Goyong del Pilar_ _up and about?_ His friend - well, frienemy - was still supposed to be on bedrest. The younger cafe staff, mostly comprised of working students, flocked around him.

Rusca felt himself smile. "Nako, bumibreezy nanaman ah," he noted, earning a light punch from Jay.

"Baeyani na kasi siya ng Angeles," she called back. She chuckled softly and shook her head. "Gwapo na, murder survivor pa ang gago."

"Three times murder survivor pa nga ata, nyeta." Rusca grinned and echoed her chuckle. He left the bar and approached Goyong, a wild idea suddenly blooming in his muddled thoughts.  _Kung may girl expert man sa tropa sigurado akong si Goyong yun._  He pulled Goyong aside and lowered his voice. He glanced at Nena, knowing that his companion would pick up quickly with his soldier's intuition. "Psst, bebelabs, nakikita mo ba yung babae dun sa may sulok?"

Sharp as ever, Goyong followed his gaze. A small frown creased his still haggard face. "Napano siya, Ruscababes?"

Rusca decided to cut the long story short. "Ilang araw ko nang napapansin. Siya si Nena." He began to wring his hands as a wave of nervousness shot through his entire body. "Oo pre. Wag mo lang bibiglain. Be yourself pero wag yung sobrang gago ha."

Rusca turned red.  _Hindi naman ako gagong katulad mo ah!_ "Ang hirap naman nun," he said, grinning. He scratched his cheek as he waited for the general to respond.

Goyong mirrored his grin mischievously. "Libre mo ng kape tapos itanong mo kung ano yung binabasa niya."

 _Uy, classic._ "Uy, subukan ko nga yan. Salamat, ha?"

"Anytime, pre." Goyong patted his shoulder before heading for the bar.

Rusca felt like he was glowing by the time he returned to his spot by the counter. He could still feel Goyong staring at him, expectant, speculating. He looked away and focused on his job - and his sudden urge to run out of the cafe and scream.

**Friday, 11-20-15, 3:00 PM, Tea-rad Pass**

He finally plucked up the courage once the shift was over. Dropping his own money into the till, he called up an order to the working student in charge of the bar that day before striding into the staff room to change out of his uniform. He found himself trembling.  _Hindi mo naman alam kung siya parin yung makakatuluyan mo. Walang sigurado sa mundo - kahit na totoo ang reincarnation._

He smoothed down his hair.  _Magpapakalbo ako pag ito naging epic fail, seryoso._  He never really cared much about his looks - he'd rather spend his money on food - but he found himself preening for the first time in years. He even made sure that his flannel shirt had no wrinkles.

He finally stepped out of the staff room, earning stares from his friends. Joven actually inclined his head curiously. "Pre, ayos ka lang?"

Rusca nodded as he grabbed the cup of coffee he ordered. "Guys, hindi ako agad makakauwi ngayon..."

Goyong gave him a knowing smile. "Alam namin yun."

Jay winked at him. "Good luck, kuya."

Rusca could still feel them staring by the time he marched toward Nena, knees shaking. He let out a soft sigh and sat across the table from her. He smiled nervously, dithering before he placed the coffee cup in front of her. "Hi," he began. "Para sayo oh."

Nena looked up, a small smile on her face. "Hi." She glanced at the cup before focusing on him. Her face lit up with recognition. "Ah, ikaw si kuya sa... ano..." Her eyes flicked to the bar.

Rusca nodded. "Ed Rusca, pag minsan baker."

She chuckled at that. "Carmena Peralta, preschool teacher."

Rusca let out a deep breath, fighting off the flood of memories rushing into his head. "Nice to meet you. Pasensya na ah, natutuwa lang kasi ako pag nakikita kita dito. Ah, sorry, ayaw ko naman maging creepy..."

Her smile was angelic with a hint of mischief. "Matagal na din kitang napapansin sa counter." She looked a way, a blush creeping up her cheeks.

**Friday, 11-20-15, 5:15 PM, Tea-rad Pass**

_At sabi nila hindi tinatablan ng kilig ang mga lalake._

He finally parked his car down the driveway, feeling jittery. It felt like butterflies were caught in a whirlwind in his stomach, and an electric chill ran down his body. He didn't mind it one bit - it was actually quite  _pleasant._

He couldn't help but smile and hum as he stepped into the house. He didn't even mind that the air conditioning was too cold - or that the entire house smelled faintly like a hospital.  _Putangina ayaw ko na talaga sa mga ospital._ He dispelled the thoughts and focused on the conversation he had with Nena.

He hated to admit it, but he was _hooked_.

He never really expected himself to be infatuated - after all, he was twenty-four years old - but there it was, the childish feeling of  _kilig_ running through his entire being. He could see the rest of Team Hijo de Puta staring at him with knowing smiles. He let out an exasperated sigh.

Being an only child, he never really really understood what it was like to be in a big family until the entire team moved in together. Not that he was complaining - far from it. He loved everyone in the team in his own way.  _Kahit na gago kayo._

He spotted Joven lounging in the living room, his eyes trained on the daily news. Everyone was still on edge regarding Andres Bonifacio's murderous doppleganger - especially after the near-death experience that he, Goyong, and Jay were subjected to recently - but even that seemed to have taken a backseat during that day. He doesn't break routine, though, prefering to sit down beside his best friend.

"May bagong biktima ba?" he asked. His brain was still a puddle of warm happiness due to Nena's laughter.

Joven gave him a sly look. He has always been too observant, frustratingly enough. "Wala pang update pero... kamusta naman ang date niyo ni Nena?"

Rusca flushed. He looked down, fighting the flutters. "Gago ka, wala lang yun."

Joven's snickered. "Rusca, palagi mong kinukwento si Nena sa kampo noon. Alam naming lahat na baliw na baliw ka sakanya. Uy, baka maprove niyo na love can transcened lifetimes."

_Love can transcend lifetimes? Cheesy, pre. Pero why not?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fronds, I'm back! Sabi ko may sequel ang MG and it has been de-li-vered! To celebrate din ang ship of the year which is Ruscaymada, nandito na yung first chapter ng Ensaymada Tales! Actually it starts somewhere near the last part ng Misguided Ghosts kaya halos identical to sa isang specific chapter. Pero extra lang talaga si Goyong dito.
> 
> Because don't we all love Rusca? :3


	2. Gusto Ko Lamang Sa Buhay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rusca is definitely not sure whether he should angst, panic, or just let go and feel the kilig.

_He never expected that he'll see the day that he'll do something stupid to impress a girl._

_Well, there he was, dressed in his Sunday best - though it wasn't much better than his day to day clothes - along with the rest of his friends. The music that suffused the plaza was nothing but faint ringing in his ears. His palms were sweaty but they were nothing compared to the rush of blood in his head, the nervous pounding in his heart, the mad fluttering in his stomach. He had no love for dancing and there he was, prepared to dance with the young ladies in the pueblo._

_The tree branches bent and danced with the sigh of the wind. The clouds floated lazily above their heads. The streets were awash with the vivid colors that marked the ongoing festivities. And Eduardo Rusca - once a fish out of water when it came to socializing - felt like he was drowning in a sea of sensations. Was this what it felt like to court a girl?_

_He could see her at the other side of the plaza, also dressed in her best clothing. Her hair flowed freely around her lovely face in a cascade of dark waves, a demure smile brightening up her face as she saw him. He smiled back nervously, hoping that he did not look like the ridiculous nineteen-year-old that he was sure he looked like._

_"May iniirog na si Eduardo," Pio said in his singsong voice. "Ang masibang kaibigan natin ay may iniirog na!"_

_Matteo, another of their friends, let out a snicker. "Sa dinami-dami ng mga binibini dito sa Arayat, ang anak pa ng katakut-takot na guro ng Arayat ang pinili. Hay naku."_

_The youngest in their group, Fernandino, patted him on the shoulder. "Kaya mo bang harapin ang ina niya?" he asked._

_Rusca sighed. "Ako ba ang niloloko niyo? Hindi naman ako nanliligaw."_

_His friends started to laugh and he had to start the dance with fire creeping up his cheeks in embarrassment._

**Sunday, 11-22-15, 5:15 PM, Pandan-Magalang Road**

Anxiety was building up among the team. What started out as practice in knife fighting and eating out in the popular street food area in the city ended up in an urgent phone call. The Bernals led the way to the Enriquez brothers' home on their Revo, the Hernando duo in tow. Rusca was stuck in his Corolla with Goyong and Nonong.

He felt sore - so sore - and his body was still still stuck in battle mode after that sparring session with Goyong and Jay. Despite all of this, his entire being was still doused in a blissful state of euphoria. He couldn't really explain what he felt - he was supposed to be feeling tense because of recent events and the Enriquez brothers' pending news - but he was sure of the fact that it was caused by his encounter with Nena.

"Huy, Kuya Ed, lutang ka nanaman ba?" asked Nonong. The boy was chuckling in spite of himself. He patted Rusca's arm gently, careful not to jostle him and cause a vehicular accident. "Kanina ka pa nagkakanta diyan."

"Iniisip nanaman si Nena, malamang." Goyong was every bit the poker-faced general that Rusca met during the war, but the humor was obvious in his voice.

He sighed and shook his head, instinctively honking the car horn when a pair of giggling airheads ran across the busy street.  _Bakit ba ako kinikilig? Ang tanda ko na ah._  He felt like a ridiculous child, though he was aware that the sensations he was going through weren't actually _that_ bad.

He steeled himself and let out deep breath. "Nakausap ko lang kahapon, mga gago kayo."

"Team Hijo de Puta ang pinangalan niyo satin. Wala na akong magagawa," Nonong joked.

A smile crept up his lips. "Team Hijo de Puta indeed."

**Wednesday, 11-25-15, 3:00 PM, Tea-rad Pass**

His hands were shaking as he slipped out of his uniform and pulled on his shirt. He ran his hand through his unruly hair, hoping against all hope that Nena wouldn't mind his dishevelled appearance. This was the second time that he would be talking to her, and he was a little nervous about all of it. He wasn't even sure if she would like to talk to him again.

She was on her usual spot in the corner, her forehead creased as she peered at her laptop. Her gaze flicked toward him as he sat across the table from her. "Ah, hello," she said with a small laugh. "Akala ko hindi mo na ako kakausapin ulit."

Rusca flushed. He looked away, hoping that his hair would hide the fire on his cheeks. "Ganun ba? Akala ko nga ikaw yung hindi na kakausap sakin kasi medyo weird ako."

A smile broke through her face. She pulled down the laptop lid and leaned forward. "Bakit naman? Nakakatuwa ka nga, ang dami mo pang alam tungkol sa history."

 _Nena, nandun tayo eh. Part tayo nung history na yun._ "Nagkataon kasi na mga history buff yung mga kasama ko sa bahay," he quickly said. Well, it was partly true - except for the fact that they  _actually_ participated in the events and campaigns that other people only read about in textbooks.

Was that not how he triggered the first of his memories at age nine?

He couldn't understand half of what he remembered that day when he first opened his  _Hekasi_ textbook, but it was enough for him to get by. He was afraid to tell even his best friend, Joven, until he finally understood what reincarnation was and had to spill his theories.

He shook his head and focused on the present. "Alam mo..." he began.

She looked up from her coffee and raised her eyebrows delicately. "Ano?"

He looked down, afraid of startling her. "Yung kasing ancestor ko lumaban sa giyera kaya medyo naging interesado din ako." Well, that was also true. Tracing everything down, he _was_ descended from the original Eduardo and Carmena Rusca. "Kaya ang baho ng pangalan ko eh - kapangalan ko yung lolo ng lolo ko."

She giggled at that - oh, so some women really  _did_ giggle. "Hindi naman ganoon kabaho ah. Kamusta naman ako? Carmena?"

"Bagay mo naman ah. At ang cute ng palayaw mo." He  _never_ did learn how to act so cool around women. He knew that he looked ridiculous bu he pushed on. "Kasing cute mo."

She laughed at that and gently slapped his hand. "Ikaw ah, bolero ka parin."

He raised an eyebrow. A sudden jolt ran through his body not just because of the touch - a simple world also sent him spiralling into excitement.  _Parin?_ He met her gaze, eyes wide. "Anong ibig mong sabihin? Ngayon pa lang kita binola ah." He couldn't stop himself from sounding like the wrongfully-executed and betrayed soldier of old. He couldn't stop himself from sounding like the young man who witnessed tragedy after tragedy, who was given a ray of hope before it was cruelly yanked away from him.

Her eyes glittered warmly. "Kung ipapaliwanag ko sayo baka isipin mong baliw ako."

"Try me." His heart hammered in his chest.

She pulled away, breaking the magic of the moment. "Maybe next time." She stood up and dusted her dress smartly. "Magkikita kami ni Mama, birthday kasi niya."

Rusca nodded idly - then was hit by an idea. He grabbed the notepad and pen that Joven forgot to retrieve from his backpack. He handed it to her shyly, feeling his cheeks burn. "Ano, yung number mo sana," he began awkwardly. "Para... ayun... ano."

Nena smiled and meticulously scribbled her celphone number and email address on a blank piece of paper. As she winked at him, he felt a mad, overwhelming urge to hug her. Of course, he refrained from doing anything stupid.

"Um, sige, mauna na ako ha?" she said cheekily. "See you around. Ingat."

"Ingat." He murmured some more gibberish that must have only made sense to his muddled mind.

_Appropriate bang kiligin ako?_

**Wednesday, 11-25-15, 7:00 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

He dithered between calling her and not doing a thing. He already found her Facebook account and added her, but she did not yet accept his request. He wasn't sure if calling her would be appropriate. He didn't want to look like some creepy stalker.

He decided to do nothing in the end - and still the butterflies were whipping up a hurricane in his stomach.

The house was close to bursting when the Enriquez duo and Paco arrive to celebrate Joven's birthday. Jay and Nonong have taken charge of the kitchen and refused to let him help in preparing their dinner.

"Baka makaabala pa kami sa kilig mo," explained Nonong. He yelped and jumped up when Jay hit him with a spatula. He rubbed his arm and glared at his cousin. "Hindi ba totoo? Ilang araw na nga siyang wala sa sarili dahil kay Ate Nena - at hindi pa niya pinapakilala sa atin!"

He sighed and shook his head. "Hindi ko naman nililigawan ah."

"Hindi  _pa_." Jay let out a soft laugh and pinched his cheek. "Ang precious niyo. Heh."

Nonong rolled his eyes. "Sila kasi dalisay, kayo ni Kuya Greg maharot."

Rusca wasn't sure how he managed to sense something unusual. His mind was hazy with food, the presence of good friends, and the slowly growing lateness of the hour. Then of course there was the subtle realization that his mind would always be in a quiet sense of euphoria because of Nena. Not that he was in  _love_  - after all she was a totally different person now - but because seeing her actually made him feel happy.

He kept trying to convince himself that he would never find her - and suddenly he found her. He told himself that he was just happy to find a connection to his past life - a connection that had very little to do with the war.

He closed his eyes, forcing himself  _not_ to be distracted.

He could feel that there was something wrong with Goyong - the way he was laughing, the way he was distancing himself, the sad look in his eyes. It reminded him of another general from an era long gone. It was the look of a man that knew he was about to die - whether it was subconscious or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Pasensya na, super transition talaga yung opening chapters huhu. Pero Rusca x Nena... nahhh, Gresca 5ever mode ako.


	3. A Beautiful Diversion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rusca finally frees his mind. Sort of.

_He met his friends in the half-empty plaza one cool summer night, guitar in hand. The three men that he grew up with had nigh-identical mischievous grins on their faces as they raised their own guitars. Despite their constant teasing and bickering and everything in between, Rusca was knew that they won't hesitate to help him out with his courtship._

_"Eduardo, kay kisig mo," Matteo teased in a singsong voice. "Kaya pala nahuhumaling ang mga binibini sa iyo!"_

_Fernandino laughed. "Tatalab kaya ang iyong kamandag kay Binibining Peralta?"_

_"Mga gunggong talaga kayo," scoffed Rusca._

_"Matagal na, kapatid." Pio threw an arm around him. "Alam mo namang ganyan kaming magmahal, diba?"_

_The four men burst into laughter. Rusca was glad for the sudden joviality as it dispelled the nervous tension that was eating away at his soul. Had they not started joking, his knees would have given out a few minutes ago. His fingers - slightly calloused from hours of kneeding bread - trembled lightly as he clutched his guitar close to him._

_Pio pouted. "Parang hindi ka nasasabik ah."_

_Matteo shook his head and ruffled Rusca's hair. "Naku, nasasabik yan. Nagpapauna lang sa kaba. Tignan mo yung mga kamay niya."_

_Rusca sighed. He hated the fact that it was so easy to read his emotions. It was a problem he had since childhood - and it caused countless fights with the other boys he grew up with and even his own father._

_He just hoped that it didn't ruin what he started with Nena._

**Thursday, 11-26-15, 3:10 PM, Tea-Rad Pass**

He found himself staring at the empty spot where Nena usually stayed. It was a slow day, that was a given, but she  _always_ in the cafe during weekdays. He wondered if he did something to drive her away.

It took him a good ten minutes of dithering before he finally made up his mind. Since Joven is off to the mall while Jay and Goyong are busy on a date, he decided to linger in his car and give her a call. His hands trembled - the ever-classic sign of his anxiety - and took a deep, steadying breath.

She answered his call after one ring. "Hello?" she asked with a cough.

He leaned back on his car seat and closed his eyes, feeling himself drowning in the moment. "Hi, si Ed to," he began. "Ay teka baka naaabala kita."

Nena laughed and coughed again. "Uy, Ed! Pasensya na, may sakit lang ako. Namiss mo ba ako?"

Rusca found himself chuckling in spite of himself. "Pagdadala sana kita ng arroz caldo pero di ko naman alam saan ka nakatira."

That made her laugh harder. "Ang sweet mo naman, Mr. Baker." She paused as she coughed again. "Sorry, nahawa lang ako ng sipon at lagnat sa co-teacher ko. Buti napatawag ka?"

A smile crept up Rusca's tense features. "Hiningi ko number mo kahapon. Syempre tatawag ako, ano ka ba?"

She let out a sigh. "Ikaw ha, ang cheesy mo talaga kahit kailan." There it was again, the jolting feeling that she knew -  _remembered -_ more than she let on. "Pero salamat, ha? Ang sweet mo parin."

"Bakit ganyan kang magsalita? Parang matagal na tayong magkakilala," he noted, feigning ignorance. He learned early on in his life that obfuscating stupidity helped a lot in gaining information. Not that he used it to manipulate people - no, that was  _someone_ else's talent - but it made people trust him more.

Knowing that he was not trusted always felt like a punch to his gut.

Nena sighed. "Baka isipin mo pang baliw ako."

"Hindi ah. Alam mo, ang dami na ding weird na nangyari sa buhay ko." Being a reincarnated soldier from the war was just the tip of the iceberg. He had first-hand experience with supernatural beings and all the misadventures it entailed. "Hindi na ako magugulat kahit gaano pa ka-out of this world yan."

"Basta. Sorry, Ed. Minsan magkwento ako sige." Nena let out a big yawn before coughing again. "Pasensya na.  _Matudtud ku pa ne?_ "  _Matutulog muna ako ha?_

Rusca found himself nodding even if he knew she wouldn't see him. "Pasensya na din sa pangungulit.  _Magpaynawa naka._ "  _Magpahinga ka na._

**Sunday, 11-29-15, 2:45 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

He couldn't breathe from his anxiety. Despite the fact that he and Nena have been calling each other back and forth over the weekend, the thought that Luna -  _the_ General Luna - was arriving was enough to make him feel like crying and laughing and panicking and screaming all at the same time. He was sure that all the mixed emotions would eventually drive him mad.

He didn't mind it one bit.

Not even the corny jokes provided by the Enriquez brothers - who arrived bringing arroz caldo that Rusca dubbed aruscaldo in his anxiety - could help ease the tension that slowly mounted in the household. It was different for all of them, he knew, but it didn't help ease the dark feelings bubbling in his gut.

To release at least some of the pent up energy, he found himself helping Manuel clean the air conditioning unit in the first storey, using a toothbrush and furiously scrubbing the unit clean. He could feel Joven staring at him with undisguised amusement halfway through his work.

He whirled around to face his best friend with a glare. "Ano?" he asked.

Joven snickered and shook his head. "Wala, nakakatuwa ka kasi. Napaka-tense mo."

Rusca sighed. "Tense talaga. Paano pag naalala na nga niya ang lahat?" he asked.  _"Ali ke agyung arapan kaibat na ning eganaganang milyari kanita." Hindi ko siya kayang harapin pagkatapos ng lahat ng nangyari noon._

It was true. He was afraid of the moment that Luna would remember him - not with fondness as Paco did, but with dislike for having abandoned them at their time of need, for surrendering to their muderers. He knew, deep in his heart, that he saw himself as a coward - but someone had to live to tell the tale. Someone had to keep their fire going, even if just for a little while.

He failed in that too, didn't he?

He forced out a smile. "Hayaan mo na, pre. Ayos lang ako."

"Ayos? Kanina ka pa namumutla," Joven notes with concern. He put a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Survivor's guilt parin ba ang umiiral sa iyo?"

Rusca sighed. Sometimes he could understand how del Pilar felt - only that Rusca's crimes were lesser. "Joven, sa tingin mo mapipigilan pa ba yung ganitong pakiramdam?"

Joven shook his head. "Sa tingin mo anong pakiramdam ko na ako lang mag-isa yung naiwan sa huli?"

_Ganyan ang naging tadhana natin noon. Sana ngayon maiba na._

**Sunday, 11-29-15, 3:00 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

He fought hard not to hyperventilate when a sleek black car parked right beside the gate. He exchanged nervous glances with Jose, who gave him a slightly encouraging smile.

Nonong shoved him forward. "Uy, kuya, pakibuksan naman yung gate oh," he said with a mischievously sweet smile.

Joven nodded sagely and handed him the gate keys. "Oo nga. Kayo naman ang original Powerpuff Boys."

Rusca grumbled as he headed out of the front door, his knees shaking in sheer antiicipation. He ran to the gate and removed the padlock, throwing it open for Paco and Luna. Despite the obviously modern era that they were in, there was something nostalgic about that moment. He felt the hair on the back of his neck prickle as he locked eyes with Paco. The latter seemed to understand at least part of what he was going through as he nodded in encouragement.

"Hello, Paco. Hello po, Mr. Luna," he began, trying to stay outwardly calm.

Paco grinned at him. "Parang nasesense ko na din na andyan yung buong, uh, extended family ng tropa ah."

"Alam mo naman sila," Rusca noted as nonchalantly as he could. "Mga dakilang uzi. Uzi-sero."

Paco burst into laughter. Luna smiled bemusedly and shook his head. "Kaya pala masayang masaya ang pamangkin ko dito," he notes. "Maging kaibigan ang isa sa inyo, magiging kaibigan ang lahat ano?"

"Ganun na nga po, tito. Kung alam niyo lang po gaano kagago yung mga to, magtataka ka kung paano ko sila naging kaibigan." Paco chuckled quietly.

Rusca opened the door, feeling the anxiety mounting, clutching his throat. He scuttled to stand between Nonong and Jose again as Paco led his uncle into the house. He almost stopped breathing when he saw Luna freeze by the door, eyes widening with dawning realization.

Then the latter threw his head back and laughed. "Mga hijo de puta! Nawala lang ako ng panandalian at humanap na kayo ng ibang heneral?" His eyes flickered to Goyong with amusement.

Manuel stepped forward nervously. "H-hindi naman po sa ganun, Heneral."

Luna's smile widened. "Tonyo nalang."

**Sunday, 11-29-15, 4:00 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

After briefing Luna on their current status - and Goyong's predicament - Rusca found himself being pulled aside by his former boss.

"Rusca, hindi ako galit sa iyo," Luna told him quietly. "Naiintindihan kita."

"Heneral, gusto ko paring humingi ng patawad." It was easier to slip into his antiquated cadences now. "Tinakbuhan ko po kayo, sumuko ako sa mga nagpabitay sainyo."

Luna shook his head. "Alam mo, kailangan malaman ng mundo ang nangyari - at ikaw ang nagdala ng balita. Ikaw ang sumigurado na malalaman nila ang katotohanan kahit na pilit itong ibinaon ng mga tao. Wala kang kasalanan sa mga nangyari."

Rusca looked away. He fought back the tears that suddenly threatened to choke him. "H-Heneral, pangako ko, hindi ko na kayo bibiguin ulit."

"Ano ka ba. Hindi na tayo sundalo. Malaya na ang Pilipinas - kahit na madami paring problema sa gobyerno." Luna scowled fleetingly. "Wag mo na akong tawaging Heneral. Tonyo nalang - okaya sige Tito Tonyo kung hindi ka kumportable."

It felt like someone lifted a dark shroud away from Rusca - a dark shroud that covered him since his comrades' deaths more than a century ago. He smiled. "Opo... Tito Tonyo."

**Monday, 11-30-15, 3:00 PM, Tea-rad Pass**

He was glad to see that Nena was feeling good enough to go to work - and visit the cafe. He apologized profusely to his friends for not being able to give them a lift home, but the Hernandos didn't seem to mind, and Goyong wasn't his usual bubbly self.

He knew that warning bells were ringing in his head but the obliviously happy haze caused by current events prevented him from thinking clearly. Well, he did try to talk to Goyong when his mind was clearer but now he was so distracted by Luna's forgiveness and the friendship he was starting to have with Nena.

He tried to mentally slap himself a few times but it didn't really work.

By the time shift ended, he rushed to get out of his uniform and slunk toward Nena's usual spot, his hands in his pockets. He sat down beside her this time and smiled cheekily.

"Long time no see," he began, making her jump up and nearly drop her book.

She swatted his arm lightly and chuckled. "Ikaw talaga."

He pretended to pout. "Masakit."

She pulled away, blushing. Her eyes glittered with amusement though. "Ed, pag minsan hindi ko alam kung dapat ba akong matawa sayo o ano."

He smiled at that. "At pag minsan hindi ko alam kung mababaliw ba ako dahil sayo o ano."

She pushed away her book - alarmingly titled  _Luna's Moustache_ \- and peered at him. "May hindi ka ba sinasabi sa akin, ha?" she asked.

He opened his mouth, about to ask her about whether she believed in reincarnation, but he quailed and decided to change the topic. He was scared that his hunch was wrong and that she might find him too weird to hang out with anymore.

_Duwag. Duwag. Duwag. Si Eduardo Rusca ay isang duwag._

Maybe so, but as he engaged in conversation with her, he was sure that he was just finding the right time to muster his courage. Everyone had courage - his experiences and his friends taught him that - but there were different kinds, and they all had the right time and place to be used. He may not be brave enough to let her in on the past for now - especially as their marriage ended in tragedy before - but he knew that someday he would show her the other side of the world he moved in - supernatural and inexplicable events included.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mahal ko na po si Rusca pero anak ko parin si Greg!


	4. Cities in the Dust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rusca faces pressure with a sense poise and rationality.

_He had never been so breathless from running since he outgrew the folly of youth. He cared not for the pouring rain, for the sticky dough still clinging in his fingers from a busy day of kneading bread. He heard someone call him out but he ignored them, focusing on Pio who was running a few meters ahead of him._

_His legs burned from the strain of running but it didn't matter. They had to help their friend._

_"Paano naman siya nabaril?" he called out as they stumbled through the outskirts of the village._

_"May mga Kastilang nangangaso dito kanina," explained Pio. The slightly older man was breathless from running too, but he was relentless like Rusca._

_They stopped by the river where Fernandino was lying beside a bloodstained pile of wood that he was supposed to bring home. His family was supposed to celebrate his older brother's arrival from his studies in Manila._

_Their other friend, Matteo, was sitting crouched on Fernandino's other side, trying to staunch the bleeding in the younger man's neck. He looked up as the two approached. Rusca let out a cry as he joined them._

_"Putangina!" he snarled. "Nanung gewa da keka?" Anung ginawa nila sayo?_

_"Kaya niyo ba siyang buhatin papunta sa bayan?" asked Matteo._

_Pio nodded. "Wa, pero pota ali mayap para kaya." Oo, pero baka hindi makabubuti para sakanya._

_Rusca knelt beside Fernandino, who looked at him blearily. "Kaya mo pa ba?"_

_Fernandino let out a delirious breath. "Ginawa nila akong... aso."_

_"Alam na ni Tio Miguel, tumawag na sila ng doktor," continued Pio. "Tara na."_

_Rusca wasn't sure why, but he had a feeling that his friend - the friend he's known the longest, the one who lived next door, the shoemaker's youngest son - would not make it to the village alive. And he loathed himself for believing it despite the encouragement he forced upon himself and his friends._

**Monday, 11-30-15, 9:25 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

Rusca raised an eyebrow as Jay called for a team meeting in the living room. "May  _specific reason_ ba kung bakit si Goyong ang inutusan mong maghanap ng ice cream at hindi kami?"

Jay sighed. She perched herself on her favorite black beanbag and leaned forward. She began to spin her dagger - a gift from Andoy and Goyong - while she regarded them with an agitated gleam in her eyes. "May kailangan kayong malaman," she began.

Joven scowled. "Ano, buntis ka?"

"Kuya, hindi ko alam kung nasabi ko na to pero gago ka." Jay matched her brother's scowl. She set down her dagger gently, like she was afraid to damage it. She regarded them with her stormy eyes. "Kailangan niyong malaman na... ano... hindi lang kayo ang may past life sa bahay na to."

Rusca stared at her. He couldn't remember her from the  _good old days_ so he wondered if she was actually from an older era. "Di nga?" he asked.

"Kung tayo nga reincarnated din, siya pa kaya?" argued Nonong. The boy was always quick to defend his cousins, which was admirable. "As of now mahirap nang ipaghiwalay yung possible at impossible."

The boy had a point. Haven't they experienced reincarnation? Haven't they met someone who died and woke up alive and well a few hours later? Haven't they crossed paths with a man who couldn't age or die no matter how hard he tried? Haven't they faced off against a creature - a doppleganger - born of a man's regrets?

_Kailangan lang nating tanggapin na tila sadyang dalawang mundo ang ginagalawan natin ano? Basta may ensaymada hindi naman problema yun._

He always believed that the world was a bright and interesting place - if only one knew where to look for adventure. Not that he wanted to get into more life-threatening encounters.

"Kilala niyo ba si Poleng?" Jay asked anxiously.

Joven's breath came out in a sharp hiss. "I've never met her in person. Pero...  di ba ex ni Goyong yun? Lagi siyang nagrereklamo tungkol sakanya nung giyera eh."

Jay nodded nervously. She seemed close to biting her fingernails - a habbit that she had since Rusca first met her. "Ako yun."

"Ikaw? Ang first ex ni Goyong?" He couldn't help but laugh at the sheer  _irony_ of the situation. "Pero ngayon pabebe na kayong dalawa ni bebelabs ano?"

Jay smiled at him. "Yes, but no. Hindi niya alam 'to. Hindi  _pa._ Yun nga yung reason bakit ko sinabi sainyo - kasi hindi ko alam kung paano ko sasabihin sakanya. Baka magalit okaya lumayo eh."

Jose nodded in understanding. "Pero malamang alam na din niya at hindi lang niya sinasabi. After all, kami nga alam niyang reincarnations din kami diba? So go lang ng go, hindi yan maiilang sigurado ako."

Rusca rolled his eyes. "Baliw na baliw na sayo yung gago. Kahit sabihin mong pinaglihi ka sa patatas o kalbo ka o ano, walang paki yun."

In another time, his stomach would have done backflips thanks to the smile Jay gave him. In the present though, all he thought about was about how to make Nena smile that way. He was sure that she would have been as radiant - no, brighter - than the sun if she did that.

_Putangina ilayo niyo po ako kay Gregorio del Pilar. Nahahawa na ako sa pagiging cheesy ng gago._

**Tuesday, 12-01-15, 5:30 PM, Fiesta Communities Tabun**

While the Bernals were off to Hotel Stotsenberg to chaperone Nonong, Jay, and Goyong, he found himself driving to the Enriquez brothers' house with Joven so that the duo could hitch a ride to the Luna family's household. They were all invited to dinner so that at least they would get to know each other more.

Joven seemed uncomfortable during the drive to the subdivision. "Pakiramdam ko talaga may mangyayari ngayong gabi," he explained anxiously. "At parang involved ang kapatid ko."

"Andun si bebelabs, sigurado akong di naman niya papabayaan yun." He felt too distracted for his own good - yet he didn't mind the fact that it was because of Nena. He really was torn between making sure that his friend stays alive throughout the day and asking Nena out on a proper date that has nothing to do with the cafe.

Joven snorted. "Kahit na ganyan yung situation niya, tao parin siya. Nagkakamali. At parang may binabalak din yun na harapin yung anino." He sighed. "Ewan ko bakit, pero di ako kumportable na hindi buo ang Team Hijo de Puta ngayong gabi."

He couldn't help but agree. They were a team - definitely. They were also a  _family -_ even Paco and the Enriquez brothers. He was pretty sure that only family could drive a person as mad as the team did to each other.

He parked right outside the brothers' unit. Matanglawin was the first to bolt out of the house, dressed in his usual hoodie and jeans. His hair was a dishevelled mess, as if he just woke up. "Hindi kayo tumawag," he complained groggily. "Kakagising lang namin kaninang bahagya."

"Ano ba kasing ginagawa niyo at puro all nighters kayo?" Joven asked with a grin.

"Ito naman eh. Haggard maging web developer - lalo na pag freelance." Matanglawin winced as he threw the back door open and accidentally hit himself in the forehead. "Tae."

"Mahal ka din ng kotse ko," joked Rusca. Wasn't that how he always got by life? A smile, a joke, some food?

Vicente scrambled out of the house, his collared flannel shirt buttoned incorrectly. His hair was as much of a mess as his brother's, and there were dark bags under his eyes. "Good morning - este, afternoon na pala!"

He shook his head with a overly-dramatic sigh. "Magkuya nga kayo."

**Wednesday, 12-02-15, 12:00 AM, Holy Angel Village**

They've been in the Luna family's household for most of the night, eating, drinking, and just catching up on what they've all been up to since they were reincarnated. For the first time in days, he found himself not thinking much about Nena aside from the occassional thoughts that bubbled in his mind whenever Luna interrogated him teasingly about his love life.

Everything was good though, and he was warm and happy that night.

Half an hour to midnight, and they showed no signs of stopping. Luna's sons JR and EJ - surprisingly Jose Rizal and Emilio Jacinto in prepubescent form according to their father himself - were already tucked into their beds upstairs, and Isabel already left for work. The men were left discussing holiday plans when Joven's phone started to ring.

Rusca's best friend started the call as happy and warm as the rest of the team. About ten seconds into it, his smile melted instantaneously into a look of fear. "Ambulansya?...Ano? Gusto mong ilagay ko sa speaker para alam din nila?" he asked quickly.

A sense of foreboding spread through the living room, rippling from Joven and his phone. He set down the phone on the center table and turned on its speaker for the call.

"...nasa on the way parin kami," Jay was saying. "Masama ang lagay ni Goyong pero medyo oks kami nina Nonong at Sir Bonifacio." She stopped and started sobbing.

The entire room burst into questions and speculations the moment this piece of news broke out. Only Rusca remained calm on his seat, feeling like a totally different person. He wasn't ever sure why - and it may have had something to do with his past life's experiences in Arayat, which involved dealing with emergencies at a very young age.

Eduardo Rusca of Arayat was the five-year-old who stayed by his ill mother's side until she died. He watched a friend die in the forests surrounding the long-dormant volcano. He survived the events where his Colonel and General were murdered. Tragic emergencies were nothing to him. His past life already conditioned him for it.

Emergencies were nothing new to Rusca. His head was actually clearer when urgent matters raged around him. Maybe that was the reason why Luna placed him in close contact with the Cruz Roja - because he would never give in to panic at the most important moments despite his emotional and boisterous nature.

"Jay, hinga. Anong nangyari?" he asked. His voice was shaking, but at least he was able to suppress the urge to shoot question after question.

The uncharacteristic calmness in his voice silenced everyone long enough for them to listen to Jay. She told them about Goyong running away from her and Nonong, of Andres Bonifacio himself locating them. She tells them of a fight, their friend getting hurt, and how the police and the ambulance that Nonong called arrived just in time.

She told them that Goyong will most likely not make it.

Jose's swearing filled the living room, threatening to wring the life out of someone, anyone.

Rusca took it all in stride. He was used to bad news. He was used to burying friends. What else was new? He murmurs words of assurance to Jay and tells her that they'll go to the hospital.

**Wednesday, 12-02-15, 2:20 AM, Angeles University Foundation Medical Center**

He didn't really mind hospitals. Really. Despite it's unnaturally too-clean smell and the unsettling feeling it brought to many, he found that he wasn't really affected by all of it. The emergency room was another thing, though. The sense of urgency it brought made him feel queasy. He wasn't sure if something was wrong with him though, as he didn't really mind it unless he thought  of it.

They find Jay sitting perched on a small bench beside Nonong. The cousins looked frazzled, clothes stained with blood and Rusca was sure that it wasn't theirs. Joven rushed to them quickly, worry breaking through his usually calm demeanor.

"Ayos lang kayo?" he asked.

Nonong nodded blankly. "Nasa police department na si Kuya Andres."

Rusca sat beside the boy, ruffling his hair. "Sigurado akong ginawa niyo naman lahat ng makakaya niyo. At alam din ni bebelabs yun."

"Matibay si Goyong. Sigurado akong hindi matitigok yun," Jay announced, a sudden blaze of confidence emanating from her. It seemed like she changed into a totally different person in a split-second. "Tiwala lang."

No one spoke for a while, but the entire team was crowded in the emergency room - except a worried Luna who couldn't leave his sleeping children behind. He did take time to contact Isabel and inform her of what happened, though.

The stress swelled as the night wore on, and he found himself walking out of the emergency room. He wasn't really sure why - he still had the urge to reassure his friends - but he ended up dialling Nena's number. He knew that she was most likely to be asleep as it's smack dab in the middle of the work week, but he wanted to try.

She miraculously answered by the second ring. "...Ed?" she asked in an adorably croaky voice.

"Nena!" Despite everything, he felt amused by the squeaky quality of his voice, his evidently flustered nervousness. It was like he was being an awkward teenager all over again. He really hoped it wasn't a bad thing. He paused, trying to collect his thoughts. He never was good at it, as he easily got distracted with even the smallest things. "Pasensya na, ginising pa kita."

"Ayos lang yun. May problema ba? Bat ganyan boses mo?" Why was she still so perceptive? She always did know what was hidden behind his grins and chuckles.

He was very well aware that he would never be able to tell her the full truth - unless she remembered everything. But it felt good to vent out to someone and not trigger further stress and worry. He was done staying strong and calm for his friends. He needed to let it all out too. "Nag-aalala lang ako sa kaibigan ko."

"Yung may-ari ba ng cafe yan? Yung best friend mo?" She really was so attentive too, remembering even the smallest details from his stories.

"Hindi, yung barista namin." He leaned against the wall, trying to calm himself. The entire team were his best friends now.  _Kami ang Team Hijo de Puta at walang makakapigil sa amin!_ "Nabiktima nanaman ng killer. Agaw-buhay nung tinakbo nila dito sa AUF."

"Di ba yan din yung nabiktima nung minsan?" Nena clucked her tongue, sounding more alert. "Ikaw, ayos ka lang? Kumain ka na ba? May kailangan ba kayo? Pwede naman akong tumulong."

The laugh that he let out was a little too hysterical for his liking. "Hindi, ayos lang kami, nakakahiya naman sayo."

She sighed. "At kelan ka ba naging sobrang independent?" She paused, as if afraid that she spoke too much. "Never mind. Sigurado kang ayos ka lang ha?"

"Oo, naiistress lang ako ng kaunti," he admitted. "Hindi naman kami ganoon katagal magkakilala." Unless one counted his past life. "Pero kasi yung tropa namin ano, siguro masasabi mo nang sobrang close yung tropa namin. At medyo nagfifreak out kami dahil yun nga, serial killer yung nanakit sakanya eh."

There was a short pause. "Sigurado kang ayos ka lang? Parang nanginginig ka." Yes, she was definitely quite the sensitive, insightful woman. Not even the changing of the eras and rebirth had changed that aspect of hers. "Alam mo, oks lang namang matakot kung ganyan naman yung nangyari."

"Hindi ako natatakot sa killer." He was informed that the doppleganger already dissolved into dust. That was the end of it. "Stress lang to. Pasensya ka na, nagising pa kita. Patulugin na kita."

She chuckled. "Basta ba ikaw. Goodnight."

He smiled in spite of himself. "Goodnight."

**Tuesday, 12-02-15, 5:00 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

The moment that they were assured that their friend would live, he was banished to the house with Joven and Nonong so that they can help the kid pack up for his three-week stint in Mariveles. He was leaving at nine, and Rusca was sure that he'll miss the foulmouthed boy that everyone regarded to as the team's little brother.

He tried to move Goyong's sleeping bag so that he'll have some space to arrange Nonong's clothes when a bunch of envelopes fell out from the crumpled blanket. Each of them were addressed to someone from the team - including Luna - in Goyong's ever-meticulous handwriting. They felt like goodbye notes, and a chill ran down Rusca's spine.

_Talaga bang sinadya mo yung ginawa mo? Bakit mo naman gugustuhing mamatay?_

He couldn't fathom his friend's choices - not when he would always fight for the chance to survivem, to live. It would be unwise to contain the wind - and he was the wind.

Carefully, he fished out the envelope addressed to him, ignoring his friends' curious stares. He opened it gingerly, afraid of what it may contain. He wasn't really sure why he felt a chill running down his spine - as if someone was walking on his grave or life-changing information would come crashing down on him at any moment.

He wasn't wrong.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case nagtataka po kayo kung bakit nagsasalita din ng Kapampangan si past!Rusca, it's because his flashbacks are set in Arayat... which I can actually see from the window right now xD
> 
> PS: Headcanon ko din na ito yung reason bakit si Rusca yung pinadalang mensahero kay Mascardo sa movie. :))


	5. Life in Technicolor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rusca is sad, Rusca is happy, Rusca's life is colorful.

_He was thankful for the rain._

_He neither liked nor disliked it before. It was just a part of life, as much as hot summers were, as much as living and dying was. It just happened._

_He prefered the wind brushing against his hair and his face. It reminded him of his mother who loved to caress him, to comfort him. He hated the fact that he could barely remember her voice. He couldn't even properly miss her as he was too young to fully imprint her upon his memories. His mother was the wind and the breeze and the gales that came with the storms. His father said he was so much like her - far too much. He was a free spirit in an era of oppression, tempestuous, unpredictable._

_And also easily distracted._

_The three of them were at the very back of the congregation of mourners, him and Matteo and Pio, mourning for the loss of their friend. Whispers of unease rippled through the small crowd - unease and hatred for their Spanish oppressors. A number of men already headed south to join the rebellion that was said to be brewing there._

_Rusca stared at the stormy sky, as angry as the emotions in his heart. He wanted justice for what happened - but he wasn't sure if joining this Katipunan was a good idea. After all, his father needed him in the bakery and he also had plans of marrying Nena._

_He wiped the tear-mixed raindrops away from his face. Fernandino wouldn't have wanted them to mourn. He would stop mourning altogether. He was the wind, like his mother, and the wind was there to comfort._

_"Hindi na tayo mga bata," he told his friends quietly. "Alam nating lahat ang gugustuhin niya. Hindi pwedeng habang buhay na lamang tayo magmaktol."_

_Pio nodded thoughtfully. "Mahirap parin tanggapin na wala na siya. Ikakasal na pa naman sila ni Marcelina sa susunod na buwan."_

_Everyone was quiet after that. Marcelina Torres, the village seamstress' daughter, was inconsolable after news of Fernandino's murder broke out in the village. Their wedding was already under preparation and was the only thing that the citizens could speak of._

_Well now all of the effort was for naught. The groom was dead at twenty._

_Matteo let out a sigh. "Wala na din naman tayong magagawa doon," he said sadly._

_Rusca looked up at the sky, wondering what would happen if he asked for Nena's hand in marriage and died before he could make her a happy bride. He shook his head, clearing the thoughts away. There were some moments that morbid thoughts cannot be escaped, but not today._

_He had to think happy thoughts._

**Tuesday, 12-02-15, 9:00 PM, Angeles University Foundation Medical Center**

They let Nonong visit Goyong first as he was running on a tight schedule. Rusca and Joven took that time to eat dinner in the cafe downstairs, and they also reviewed the letters that the general left behind. Joven read Rusca's letter with a small frown, while Rusca was baffled by Joven's notes - they just contained coordinates and a note of apology for all the _shit_ that the wartime journalist went through.

"Anong coordinates to?" he asked his oldest friend.

Joven merely shrugged. "Walang oras para icheck kanina, baka tignan ko mamayang gabi. Okaya pwede ko namang tanungin si Goyong."

Everyone talked about the general's survival as if it was something that they expected, but he couldn't really help but think of it with relief. They had so many things to talk about - and he hasn't properly berated the idiot for the worry that he caused.

Their dinner took too long and they barely made it to visiting hours - and they only made it because they begged Isabel to let them through the hallway. Jay was waiting for them outside the room, a tired smile on her face. "Uy, wag niyo nang aawayin, ha?" she murmured. "Sinigawan ko na kanina."

"Bitin pa yun sigurado ako," he retorted darkly.

Joven smiled tiredly.  _"Paburen mune y Ed. Balu mu naman nung makananu la miluguran den." Pabayaan mo na si Ed. Alam mo naman kung paano sila magmahalan._

He rolled his eyes with a sigh. He led the way into the room, bracing himself for the rush of cool air that greeted him. He spotted his pale, bedridden friend and headed straight for him. He felt a ridiculous urge to punch  _and_ hug him. Instead, he crossed his arms and stood his ground - something he rarely did. "Hijo de puta! Wag mo nang uulitin yun! Goyong my bebelabs naman eh!"  _Why in the world_ did he sound like a whiny girlfriend? He pulled out the farewell letter from Goyong and almost jabbed it right under his nose. "Teka, itong sulat na iniwan mo sa sleeping bag mo..." He paused, bracing himself. "Totoo ba lahat ito?"

Goyong closed his eyes with a wince. "Hindi kita pinabitay. Hindi kita tinraydor. Kung naaalala lang ni Nena ang lahat, makikita niya kung paano ako lumuha kasama niya." Well, that was something to go by.

Joven stepped forward, as if unwilling to open up the discussion about the coordinates. "Mukhang hinusgahan ka namin masyado, Heneral. Kailangan din pala naming humingi ng tawad sa iyo." Well, that was definitely Joven. Calm and grounded and always knowing the right words to say.

He looked away, trying hard to fight off the storm of conflicting emotions that danced in his heart. Tears welled up in his eyes and he had to stare at his letter blankly. "Hindi ibig sabihin nito na kwits na tayo, bebelabs. Pero salamat." He had to keep everything light so that he wouldn't start bawling his eyes out again.

"Never tayong magiging kwits, Ruscababes. Masyadong marami ang mga naging kasalanan ko sa inyong lahat." Goyong's smile was angelic, though.

Joven cleared his throat. "Wala talaga kayong pinipiling oras para magmoment," he scoffed. "Ano, Goyong, mukhang kailangan mo nang magpahinga. Babalik nalang kami at dun nalang kayo maglandian ha?"

"Joven!" He ruffled his oldest and best friend's hair. "Gago ka talaga."

"Gago lahat tayo," Joven retorted. "Team Hijo de Puta nga, diba?"

"Mas malandi pa pala kayong dalawa eh!" Goyong let out a tired chuckle. "O siya, umuwi na kayo. Magiingat ha?"

**Wednesday, 12-03-15, 4:00 PM, Mr. Ramyun**

He wasn't really sure how he ended up eatng Korean noodles with Nena on that popular shop in the building across the street from the cafe, but there they were, just the two of them. The Hernandos were off to meet with the secondhand car dealer to have a look at a model that Joven was planning to buy, and refused his offer to drive them around.

_Di ko alam kung pinagtitripan lang nila ako dahil kay Nena o ano..._

He smiled at the woman in question, fighting off the building blush in his cheeks. "Pasensya na kagabi ha?"

She smiled back, something angelic with a hint of mischief glinting in her dark eyes. "Ikaw talaga, wala lang yun. At least mukhang back to normal na kayo."

Rusca nodded, averting his eyes. "Kahit papano nakahinga kami ng maluwag," he agreed quietly. His cheeks flared red as he sensed her soft gaze. "Pero ano, malaking bagay parin yung kagabi. Hindi ko makakalimutan yun."

"Makulit ka parin, ano ba yan." She tapped her cheek thoughtfully, leaning forward with a sparkle in her eyes. "Ano nga bang meron at naglibre ka ngayon?"

"Lagi naman kitang nililibre ng kape lately ah." Rusca fumbled with his spoon and fork, nearly dropping them, earning a smirk from Nena. He was sure that his face was still burning red. "Ano ba, bakit ganyan kang tumingin?"

She chuckled and brushed a lock of hair away from her face. She leaned forward languidly. She didn't say a word for a while, simply giving him the smallest quizzical smile she could probably manage. "Wala naman. Bawal ka na bang tignan?"

He couldn't help but laugh at that. He pouted and crossed his arms playfully, pretending to be offended. "Excuse me?" he asked.

"Ang cute mo palang magalit," she continued. "Dapat pala lagi kitang ginagalit."

He rolled his eyes. "Ah, _uw_ _a,_ tapos pag nakakita ako ng pagkain makakalimutan ko na yung galit ko."

She hesitated, then reached out to pinch his cheek. "Sira."

"Thank you."

**Wednesday, 12-09-15, 6:00 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

He just arrived home with Joven, fresh from downtown San Fernando. He helped Joven secure a non-professional driver's license from the LTO office and was reminded again of why he hated the bureaucracy. He _absolutely detested_ long lines - as much as he detested having to sit still and behave for an extended period of time.

Soft lights already sent the red-curtained windows aglow, so someone was definitely home. The smell of cooking dinner - was that fried chicken? - wafted through the air as they walked through the semidarkness of the driveway-slash-mini garage. He felt his stomach growl as he pulled the back door open and marched into the house.

"Good evening Philippines! Good evening world!" he yelled... before realizing that four people were staring at him, mouths hanging open.

Standing by the kitchen bar were Vince and Etong - yes, the elder Enriquez brother tossed a chopping board right at Rusca's face three days ago after being called Matanglawin  _yet again_ and insisted on his proper nickname. Amusement was etched on their faces and Rusca felt the urge to run out of the house screaming. Jay was sitting at the foot of the stares, a piece of half-eaten toast in hand. Last was  _Goyong_ in the kitchen, cooking dinner.

"Huy, nakauwi ka na pala!" Rusca said, forgetting his embarrassment. "Gago nagluluto ka na nga agad!"

"Gago ka rin!" Goyong retorted, turning back to the chicken. "Pero teka, matagal na nating alam yun."

"Takte ka talaga Kuya Ed, anong klaseng welcome home yan?" Jay asked with a smirk. "Akala ko hahalikan mo siya at magiiyakan kayo sa kitchen."

"Ano, tapos magseselos ka?" Etong piped in, raising an eyebrow. "Tapos ilalabas mo na yung mga kutsilyo mo at tatakutin yung buong bahay, ganun? Playing safe lang sila, ano ka ba."

Everyone burst into laughter - including Rusca. He shook his head and headed straight for the stairs to get changed. Nonong would be calling the team at eight, and he couldn't wait to talk to that foulmouthed kid again. The house was definitely, eerily quiet without his presence.

He sat on his bed, which was situated right beside the window overlooking the terrace. He pulled out his phone and was surprised to see five missed calls from his cousin Marco. That was odd. His family - descended from the original Eduardo Rusca and now based in Bacolor - rarely called him after he moved out last July. It wasn't that they were still angry, but they knew better than to run after him.

It wasn't their fault. It was just that being shipped off to study aeronautics wasn't his thing. He loved the air and the sky but he wasn't going to be happy as a pilot - his father's last will be damned.  _May Eduardo Rusca nanaman na naglayas ng bahay. History repeats itself na ba this?_

Marco picked up the phone at the second ring. "Ed?"

"Yo?" He felt his throat constrict. As much as he loathed his most of his remaining relatives, they were still family. "May problema ba?"

"Birthday ni Papa sa Linggo. Tinatanong niya kung makakapunta ka."

At least he knew that they still thought of him. Too bad that Bacolor held too much memories for him - of his mother and his father and Pinatubo.

"Ewan ko," he said quietly. "Baka maging busy ako sa Linggo."

"Ano ba yan, Ed. Pamilya mo naman kami, di ka naman namin itatrato ng iba," argued Marco.

"Hindi ba yun nga yung point? Iba ang itinrato niyo sakin." Rusca let out a sigh as his cousin hung up. "Pera ng tatay ko ang habol niyo," he said out loud, knowing that no one else would hear.

But it was tempting - oh so tempting - to go back to Bacolor one more time.

**Friday, 12-11-15, 7:00 PM, Holy Angel Village**

He wasn't really surprised anymore when the Luna family invited them for dinner. He actually had a feeling that it would end up as a secondary headquarters to them now that Paco and the Enriquez brothers are about to move in to Nonong's house too. It's a lovely night, unusually warm, which was a surprise as there was an impending typhoon.

He noted that Luna and Isabel were still gracious hosts, treating the entire team like a part of their extended family. Though a lot of the events from the past were still painful to relieve - especially Cabanatuan - he was pleased to know that there were people who were  _like him._ He knew that they were bonded by their shared pasts and experiences and it made them connect to each other in a way that was hard to put into words.

He found himself sitting beside Joven and Jose shortly after dinner and ended up telling them about the invitation to Bacolor. "Hindi ko alam kung dapat ba akong pumunta. Nag-aampalaya sila doon na kamag-anak ko sila.  _Pero ing tutu mapagal naku karela." Pero ang totoo pagod na ako sakanila._

 _"Ninanu kayu wari? Ali mu man sinabi kanaku." Napano ba kayo?  Hindi mo man sinabi sa akin._ Joven sighed and leaned on the couch armrest. "Tinawagan mo lang ako para magtanong noon kung pwedeng tumira sa apartment."

"Pumayag ka naman," he retorted. "Mamaya, magmeeting tayo pagkatapos kumain."

Maybe it was time to let them know why he was living with the rest of the team instead of his family in Bacolor.

**Friday, 12-11-15, 8:45 PM, Holy Angel Village**

Everyone seemed startled by the fact that he called for a meeting - him, Eduardo Rusca, comic relief, baker, that man with the gluttonous sweet tooth. He's used to people forgetting that serious matters did occur in his life too, and he didn't mind that. It just helped make them more comfortable around him - and that was something that he  _did_ like.

He braced himself by taking a deep breath. He wasn't sure how to start. "Ganito kasi yun..." He hesitated, not sure how to put everything into words. "Hindi naman sa ano pero kasi galing ako sa family na may kaya. May businesses sa Bacolor, ganun." He paused again to collect his thoughts. He didn't mind giving them a little family background. After all, Team Hijo de Puta accepted each other no matter what. "Si papa ko pinangarap maging piloto pero hindi pinayagan para makatulong siya sa mga yun."

"Kaya pala Inglesero kang gago ka," Goyong shot at him.

"So pinilit ka ba niyang magpilot, ganun?" Vince asked.

He shook his head. "Hindi lang ganun. Tumanggi ako at hinayaan akong magculinary arts, pero pinipilit parin niya ako until nakuha niyang mamatay sa cancer. Para bang desperado siya na ipagpatuloy ko yung mga pangarap niya na hindi niya natupad - at di naman niya naisip na iba ang pangarap ko para sa sarili ko. Nag-iwan pa sa last will niya na makakakuha ng pera yung mga kamag-anak ko kung mapapapayag nila ako bago ako mag-bente singko."

"Weiiiird," was all Jay could comment.

"Daig pa ang telenovela," Manuel agreed. "Crappy telenovela."

"Pag minsan hindi rin healthy sa mga pamilya ang pera," Luna noted. "Pero mahalaga din naman kasi na magtira ka ng kahit konting pangarap para sa sarili mo. Hindi mo dapat gamitin ang anak mo para matupad nila yung mga pangarap na hindi mo natupad para sa sarili mo."

"Don't get me wrong - mahal ko tatay ko. So nung namatay siya, hindi na ako tinantanan ng mga kamag-anak ko. Kaya umalis ako ng Bacolor." Rusca shrugged. "Mas masaya naman ako dito."

"So bakit mo nga ba naopen yan?" Joven asked quietly. "May problema ba?"

"Birthday ng tito ko sa Linggo at pinapapunta nila ako. Nag-aampalaya pa na kamag-anak ko daw sila at dapat kong bisitahin." He shrugged. "Di ko alam kung pupunta ako o hindi. Kasi naman nakukunsensya ako na basta nalang ako umalis - pero kasi naman nagpakabaliw sila dahil lang sa konting pera... pera na di naman nila kailangan."

"Mahirap nga yan, Ruscababes," Goyong noted sadly. "Pero bakit hindi? Subukan mong umuwi kahit para sa birthday lang. Tapos tignan mo anong mangyayari."

"At susundan ka namin," Jose said. "Backup kung baga. Kung kailangan mo ng moral support or something. Kung kailangan magundercover edi gagawin namin! Basta andun kami para sayo."

He felt himself smile. "No homo, pero mahal ko kayo."

"Gago." Etong grinned and ruffled his hair. "Team Hijo de Puta tayo eh. Walang iwanan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gusto ko talagang ibalot ng kumot si Ruscababes at yakapin. Yes or yes?


	6. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rusca goes home. It's not a pretty picture.

_"Binibining Peralta..."_

_He would never get used to the butterflies in his stomach when it came to Nena. She was beautiful and intelligent and interesting and kind. He's known her for a few months and he wasn't sure how he knew it but he was in love. Definitely, irrevocably, madly in love. It wasn't a bad thing - not really. His friends used to say that he would never find a woman if all he did was work in the bakery and eat all day. He was going to prove them wrong._

_She shook her head as he refered to her formally. She was always Nena and he was always Eduardo when it was just the two of them. "Bakit ganyan kang magsalita?"_

_He smiled as he sat down beside her on the bench, eyes sparkling in glee. "Bawal na bang gawin iyon ngayon?"_

_Her melodious laugh - high and clear and lovely - still made him feel as dazed as a sheltered man who has seen the sun for the first time in years. It's been six months since they first met, five months since he was given permission to get to know her, two months since Fernandino's murder. So many things have happened in the span of half a year and yet... he was still Eduardo. Awkward, playful, underestimated._

_It was alright with him, of course._

_"May balita ako," he explained. "Pinayagan na nila akong umakyat ng ligaw."_

_He was surprised by the fierceness of her embrace. His arms automatically went around her waist, holding her close. He breathed in the rosy scent of her hair, savoring the warmth of her presence._

_"Nagagalak ako," was all she could whisper._

_It was enough for him. No, she was enough for him._

**Sunday, 12-13-15, 10:15 AM, Calibutbut, Bacolor**

He parked right outside the family home, fingers shaking as he released his grip on the steering wheel. It's been more than four months since he last stepped into the area. Joven - in the second-hand blue Corolla he bought just two days ago - Luna and Manuel in his Revo were parked two streets away, the entire team cramped in their cars for support.

It took him a while to comb through his hair and affix the usual smile on his face. Feigning cheerfulness was hard-wired into his body and brain, and the fact that he was finding it difficult that day meant that something was definitely going to happen. He shook his head, clearing away his ominous thoughts, and stepped out of his car. The sunlight was glaring at him as he made his way to the gates, festive music wafting from the high walls surrounding the lot.

He braced himself and knocked.

The gate opened a good five minutes later. Rusca's younger cousins in blatantly expensive clothing pulled him into the garden, greeting him and throwing questions at him - mostly in rapid-fire English. He smiled and answered as much as he could, though he prevented them from painting a picture of his current life. He never wanted them to know about his current lifestyle - which was infinitely better than what he had in Bacolor.

A cool, soft breeze brushed against his face as he nodded to other relatives, his brain working in overdrive as he began to come up with excuses to leave should things turn sour. It felt as bad as walking into Cabanatuan - though he was sure that nothing bloody would happen.

_Basta ba wag naman silang gumamit ng dahas para makuha ang pera na hindi naman talaga dapat mapasakanila._

He located his cousin, Marco - the only cousin who was around the same age as him. They nodded to each other as Marco approached.

"Akala namin ni Papa hindi ka pupunta," the latter said wryly.

He shrugged. "Pamilya," was all he could say, keeping up his brightest smile.

Despite the graciousness that his relatives were showing so far he still felt on edge. He knew that he would never be truly comfortable around them - it was actually a miracle that he could even  _stand_ being in their presence - but he had to do it. They were still family.

Tito Rico was waiting for him in the living room - his father's living room, until the rest of the family took over after his death. It should have been Rusca's, but he didn't really care that he had no house to inherit. The only thing he hated was the fact that they spread rumors about him. He never ran off with his father's wealth. They were his  _inheritance_ in the first place.

"At umuwi ang ligaw na tupa, ano?" Tito Rico said, sarcasm dripping in his voice. "Naubos mo na ba yung tinakbo mong pera? Sa tingin mo ba bibigyan ka pa namin? Sa tutuusin ay may utang ka pa sa amin ah."

"Bumisita po ako dito dahil birthday niyo ngayon. Hindi po para humingi ng pera o gumawa ng gulo," he shot back. He still kept his elfin smile in place. "At pareho naman po nating alam ang last will ni tatay. May kopya po tayo pareho nun. Wala po akong utang sainyo. Mana ko po lahat ang hawak ko - at ang bahay na tinitirahan niyo. Magbebente-singko na ako sa February. At nagdesisyon na akong hindi ako mag-aaral ng aeronautics. May sarili po akong buhay."

"At nakalimutan mo atang pamilya mo kami. Ganyan na lang ba ang gagawin mo, Eduardo?"

Rusca smiled and turned his back. "Matagal ko na pong alam na banko lang po ang tingin niyo sa amin ni tatay."

"Ingrato," Tito Rico growled. "Pinatira ka namin, pinakain, pagkamatay ng tatay mo last year."

"Baligtad po ata ang pagkakaalala niyo. Kayo po ang tumira sa bahay namin at kumain gamit ng pera niya." He turned his back and headed straight for the door, pausing just long enough to face his uncle. Their eyes locked for a moment, a subtle shift in the core of his very being awakening the Captain slumbering within Rusca. "Ingrato din po pala ang tawag sa inyo. Sainyo na ang bahay kung gusto niyo. Binenta ko na rin naman to kung hindi niyo rin kinamkam. Wala na po akong balak bumalik dito at nasa Angeles na ang pamilya ko. Pagpalain nawa kayong lahat."

He smiled and headed out of the house, never looking back, never acknowledging the existence of his outraged relatives.

He was the wind - and he truly was free now that he let go of the past.

Home was Angeles City, with Team Hijo de Puta and all the antics and misadventures that came with living with them.

**Sunday, 12-13-15, 5:30 PM, The Quad**

He wasn't really sure how the team ended up getting some _batirol_ after hearing Mass, but there they were, the entire Team Hijo de Puta sans Luna, cramped inside the small shop, mugs of ice-cold drink in hand. He let himself drown in the nutty-chocolate scent of the  _batirol,_ highly aware that it would help him drown out the subtle pain caused by the events earlier that day.

"Huy, hindi ka parin nagsasalita," Goyong muttered in his ear, clearly concerned. "May nangyari bang masama dun? Di ka man nagtagal eh."

Everyone's been asking that all day, and he hasn't given them an answer yet. He wasn't even sure how to answer. He was  _fine._ He didn't know what he meant by that exactly but he knew he was fine.

He just shrugged and stared at the window, wondering if he had been too rash with his decisions. Maybe, maybe not. He didn't really care about his relatives in Bacolor, either way.

"Ayos lang ako," he decided to say. "Nagdecide na akong hindi na ako babalik sa Bacolor. Wala parin silang pinagbago at alam kong hindi ko sila mapipilit na ibahin ang pag-iisip nila."

The concern in their eyes made him think that maybe he really was more than just the comic relief in the group.

"Brad, andito naman kami," murmured Joven. "Pamilya mo din naman kami diba?"

"Walang iwanan sa Team Hijo de Puta," agreed Jose, clapping him on the shoulder. He did have a point.  _Reincarnation na nga lang, nagkita-kita pa kami at naging close ulit._ "Makikipagpatayan tayo para sa isa't isa, diba?"

He would fight to the death for any of them - and seeing the way they regarded him, he knew that they would extend the same courtesy to him. He had no family left in Bacolor. His family was in Angeles - and they all loved each other like brothers did.

Paco nodded sagely. "Ok lang na hindi ka na bumalik sa Bacolor kahit papaano silang magparinig - lalo na kung sa tingin mo hindi na healthy sayo yung pagpunta mo dun."

**Sunday, 12-13-15, 08:00 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

He called her that night, right after dinner. He wasn't sure why he was acting on a wild whim. They barely knew each other for more than three weeks but there he was, about to make the boldest move that the Eduardo Rusca of the modern era would ever attempt.  _Hangal man ako sa iyong tingin, hindi ko pagsisisihan ito._

His fingers were shaking as he lifted his phone to his ear. She answered immediately, sounding as fluttery and as nervous as he felt. "Huy, Ed?"

"Nena," he said playfully.

"Ano? Huhugot ka ba ngayon?" she asked with a giggle. "De, joke lang. Kamusta?"

He had to swallow twice to get rid of the lump in his throat. "Ano, yayain sana kasi kitang lumabas pero ano... baka busy ka kasi at saka ano..." 

Nena laughed, driving him crazy. "Ano?"

"Baka naman kasi ayaw mo so... yun." He smiled, fighting off the blush creeping up his cheeks. "Sige mananahimik nako."

Her laughter intensified. "Ang cute cute mo talaga, Ed. Sige, labas tayo bukas, go ako. Saan naman?"

His heart began to race. He didn't really expect her to go along with his hare-brained plan. "Ikot tayo sa Angeles. Marquee? Tapos nood ng movie! May mga magandang films naman ata ngayon kahit malapit na yung MMFF."

"Game ako diyan, wag kang mag-alala. Kita tayo bukas ng alas-tres? The usual?"

It felt like he was soaring. "Sige."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumatanggap daw ng ensaymada at aruscaldo si Kapitahhhn.


	7. Hands Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rusca goes on his first date. <3

_He combed his hair, making sure that it was parted properly. He never did care much about his appearance before, but there he was, preening and squirming and trying hard to look as decent as he could. His fingers trembled as he pushed the door open and stepped out of the house._

_As his father was still busy in the bakery - and not really sure of what to think of regarding the fact that his son was wooing a girl - all that Rusca had for support were his two surviving friends. Matteo clapped him on the shoulder and chuckled._

_"Eduardo! Naku, mukha kang tao ngayon," he said._

_Rusca glared at him half-heartedly before letting out a deep breath. "Mag-uusap lamang kami ni Nena - hindi ko alam kung bakit pa kailangang palihim ito pero gagawin ko ang kahit ano para sakanya."_

_"Tuluyan ka nang nahibang dahil sakanya," Pio told him with a laugh. He ruffled his friend's hair, ignoring his protests. "Sigurado akong ikakasal kayo bago matapos ang taon."_

_Matteo nodded sagely. "Pero nakakatakot ang magiging biyenan niya! Nangangatog ang tuhod ng mga mag-aaral niya kapag siya na ang nagsasalita."_

_He sighed, trying to conceal his frustration. "Ano ba kayo, hindi naman ang nanay niya ang pakakasalan ko ah," he tried to joke. "Kakayanin ko ang lahat para sakanya."  
_

_Pio and Matteo broke into laughter at that._

_"Eduardo, tuluyan ka nang nawala sa sarili mo!" howleed Pio. "Nakakapanibago ka."_

_He rolled his eyes with a sigh. "Mga punyetero."_

**Monday, 12-14-15, 07:00 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

They were supposed to be leaving in half an hour but there he was, still standing by the mirror, trying to make sure that he looked at least half-decent. His stomach fluttered as he tried to flatten his hair, wondering if he could do something about the mess. He gave up when he caught a whiff of Goyong's hair wax and sneezed. He decided to just let it be, since hopefully Nena wouldn't really mind.

He could feel their amused stares when he finally got down to the first floor, and stuck out his tongue at Manuel, who was the nearest. Manuel raised an eyebrow at him before turning back to the papers he was working on. "Gago."

He made a face as he turned to the living room, where Jose and Goyong were quietly talking. They looked up as he approached, identical teasing looks on their faces. He groaned as he sat down near the bay window, fumbling with the buttons on his shirt. He fought back the nervous flutters in his stomach, hoping that the anxiety would go away. It was just a  _friendly_ date - not like they were romantically involved or anything.  _Yet._ He did hope that it would end up in an actual romance, though.

Jose narrowed his eyes with a chuckle. "Ed, excited ka na ata sa date mo?" he noted with a big grin.

"Pakshet ka Bernal," he replied with a growl. "Sumasakit ang ulo ko!"

"Sa kakaisip sakanya?" The older man insisted.

Goyong laughed. "Gago, tingin ko nga di man nakatulog yan kagabi dahil diyan eh."

He felt his cheeks burned red as his two friends laughed. It reminded him of the old days - older than the war he participated in - and the friends he had in Arayat. It wasn't a bad thing - on the contrary, it made him feel like the boy that he left behind all those years ago.  _Siguro dahil na din sa pagiging totoong kaibigan ng Team Hijo de Puta ito._

He couldn't help but mirror their laughter. "Pasalamat kayo at mga lalabs ko kayo, kung hindi baka naihagis ko na kayo."

**Monday, 12-14-15, 12:00 PM, Tea-rad Pass**

The day finally slowed down as the lunch hour finally arrived. He still felt on edge, excited to see Nena who usually dropped by at this time as her classes finished at eleven. He was sure that everyone noticed his jittery state, as he earned so many chuckles from the working students already.

Paco dropped by that day, looking unusually haggard. "Medyo nakakastress palang i-check ang mga essay-type na assignment," he noted as he sat on his usual spot near the bar.

Jay laughed as she took his order. "Basta ba wag kang matulad kay Kuya Ed. Pakiramdam ko hampasin mo lang ng konti to lulundag na siya eh."

Rusca was sure that he was blushing but he didn't really mind. He would never be able to fight off the burning in his cheeks. "Ano ba, ang bully mo ano? Hampasin kaya kita diyan?"

"Ang harsh niyo naman," Goyong noted, leaning across his portion of the bar. His eyes sparkled with long-buried mischief as he grabbed a dishrag to clean his working spot. "Kinakawawa niyo si Ruscababes ko eh."

He merely smiled, watching the banter between his three friends. It was a good day, the air felt charged with electricity and anticipation, and for the first time he couldn't wait for the shift to end. The sliver of the sky he could see outside was cloudy, a sign of the approaching typhoon, but it felt as sunny and as vivid as a lovely summer day because of everything he was anticipating. He hoped it wouldn't end badly. He had a tendency to cause things to go from wonderful to terrible in a split-second.

"Ayan nanaman siya oh, parang baliw kung makangiti," teased Jay. There was a certain kind of affection in her voice - and he had accepted long ago that all they could be was siblings. Well, it wasn't a bad thing. After all, hadn't he finally found Nena, who made him feel things that he never had before? "Kuya Ed, tinamaan ka na nga ata ng tuluyan kay Ate Nena. Kelan mo siya ipapakilala samin?"

Goyong smirked. "Pag naman ikaw naka-first base mamaya..."

"Gago ka din," he said with a scowl.

He felt like he could drown in his friends' laughter - in the good way, of course. He didn't know what he would do without them - wonderful and wacky, maddening and mad.

**Monday, 12-14-15, 3:30 PM, Angeles City Proper**

He knew that the staff was laughing at him when he ran out of the cafe in a hurry. He couldn't help him, though - anxiety and excitement were a deadly combination, running derangedly through his veins. His other choice was to scream his head off and that idea sounded much, much worse.

The sky outside was still dull and grey but it felt like a sliver of sunshine acted as a spotlight leading him to his car. It was all in his mind, he knew, but that was fine with him. Definitely fine.

He revved up the car engine and sped off to the main city proper - it was just supposed to be faster than a thirty-second drive but with all the rerouting he had to pass by a couple of side streets first. By the time he reached the small park across the street from the church, the main roads already bustled with a myriad of newly-dismissed elementary and highschool students interspersed with some university students.

Nena was sitting under the shade of an abandoned  _bibingka_ stall, dressed in a plain black shirt and jeans. Her hair was still tied in that braid she preferred, but somehow she looked even more exquisite with it that day. He saw her look up as he approached and his breath hitched when she  _beamed_ angelically.

_Hinga, Ed. Hinga._

He looked down and bit his lip to prevent a smile from coming up. He felt silly, childish, and had half a mind to jump up and down to release his pent up energy. Instead, he decided to wink at her and hold out his hand. "Hi, Eduardo Rusca, pag minsan baker."

She snorted and took it. The feather-light touch sent a jolt throughout his entire being and he thought he would spontaneously combust on the spot. Her grin widened and he couldn't fight back the urge to mirror it. "Carmena Peralta, preschool teacher."

"Aba, gumaganti!" He led her to his car and helped her be comfortable on the passenger's seat.

She leaned back and laughed. Her eyes sparkled beautifully as she regarded him. "Siyempre, ganyan ba naman yung kasama ko ngayon, dapat lang may baon akong panlaban sakanya."

**Monday, 12-14-15, 8:30 PM, Holy Rosary Parish Church**

They ate and watched a film and walked around, dropping by random shops and staying for a long time in the bookstores. They talked about everything and anything under the sun - work, food, friends, current events - and he found himself dancing to the emotional gale brought about by every word blooming from her lips. It was the most pleasant, most beautiful tempest he ever found himself into. 

She asked him to drop her off at the church gates, as she was going to meet up with her younger brother before she went home. He parked right inside the gates to make sure that she would be safe. He stalled the engine and was surprised when she didn't unlock the door immediately. They stared at each other, affixing each other with their warm gazes. He smiled cheekily.

"Ano, ipapakilala mo na ba ako sa pamilya mo?" he joked.

She chuckled and brushed some of her hair away from her face. "Gagi. Pero Ed, thank you ha? Nagenjoy ako ngayon."

"Tingin mo ako hindi?" He leaned forward a little, breathing in her scent. How could she be so tantalizingly close and yet so far at the same time? "Salamat din ha? Sa oras, at sa kwento, at sa presence at ano..." He trailed off, wondering what  _exactly_ he was trying to say.

"Wag ka ngang bolero," she argued. Her laughter sent him spiralling into a ray of light and he wasn't even sure where he got that thought. "Marunong akong mag-self defense."

"Magkakasundo kayo ni Jay kung ganun." He wasn't sure why he blurted that out but there he was, talking before thinking.  _Yet again._ He felt like a rock dropped into his stomach when he saw the small frown creasing her face.

She leaned forward and stared at him, her eyes alight with curiosity. "Diba pangalan yun nung kasama mong staff?"

He nodded carefully. "Kapatid ng may-ari, si Joven. Kasama ko sila sa bahay, yung pinsan nilang si Nonong, at tatlo pang kaibigan - si Jose, si Manuel, at si Goyong my bebelabs."

Her eyes narrowed. "Threesome ba kayo ni Goyong at Jay?"

"Ha? Hindi! Bahala silang maglampungan at magmomol. Ganyan lang talaga kaming mag-asaran." Despite that, he was sure that the blood was draining out of his face from shame. "Ako si Ruscababes at siya si Goyong my bebelabs."

"Ruscababes. Ang cute naman." She inclined her head, half-tempting him to lean in for a kiss. "Mas gusto ko parin yung Ed. Parang si Ed Sheeran lang."

He laughed. "Mas gwapo naman yun sakin."

"May point ka." She rubbed her chin, as if toying with an imaginary beard. "De, joke lang. Gwapo ka din naman."

His mouth dropped open. "Ano?"

"Ayaw pang maniwala. Nako. O siya, kailagan ko nang umuwi ha? Ingat ka." She smiled and pinched his cheek before she hopped out of the car.

_Natulala ako, laglag ang puso ko... buti nalang wala akong hawak na suka at baka naging Eraserheads song na to._

He stayed in the car for a while longer, trying to collect his thoughts. Everything seemed to have been scrambled by the highly-charged afternoon that he spent with her. He wondered what it would be like if she remembered the past. He wondered if it would affect their present and their future - or if the knowledge would scare her away. He did leave her a widow during the war.

He closed his eyes to steady his breathing - Goyong said that it always worked - but his thoughts were still the chaotic mess that she left him with. He wasn't in love with her  _that_ way yet. He was sure that everything was an effect of the past life that they shared together - but he had a feeling that he'll be sent down that path sooner or later.

_Ngayon pa nga lang nahuhumaling na ako sayo. Pano pa pag nafall ako? Diretso na sa kawalan? Heh._

He eased his car out of the parking space and drove off into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oo, pinapakinggan ko yung Tindahan ni Aling Nena habang sinusulat ko to, hence the reference. Kaway kaway sa mga Pamilya Pakwan readers! Balang araw magkikita kita tayo at masasapak ko na din kayo. XD


	8. Nerbyoso

_He found her sitting on the same bench where they first met, her hands fumbling with her lace shawl. She seemed lost in thought as she barely noticed the fact that he was standing right in front of her until he cleared his throat. She nearly jumped off her seat when she realized that he was there and covered her face._

_"E-Eduardo, napaaga ka," she stammered. Her cheeks flushed red despite her efforts to keep up a dignified appearance. "P-Pasensya na, m-medyo nagulat lang ako."_

_He bent down to meet her gaze at eye level, holding off a pout. "May problema ba? Bakit ganyan ang hitsura mo?"_

_She stared at him with those deep eyes, and he could feel the anguish in them. "Patawarin mo ako," she whispered before bursting into tears. She desperately tried to wipe them off but failed as they kept coming. "Ipapakasal na nila ako sa susunod na buwan."_

_It felt like someone dropped a stone right into Rusca's stomach, causing him to plummet from the heavens he had been soaring in. "Pero... hinayaan nila akong manligaw sa iyo."_

_She nodded. "Sinabi nila sa akin na ginawa nila iyon para lamang mapasaya ako - ngunit naipagkasundo na nila ako sa anak ng cabeza de barangay sa San Fernando. Dating mag-aaral daw siya ni Inay."_

_He promised himself never to weep anymore after Fernandino's death. He simply forced out a smile as he stroked his chin. "Ibig sabihin lamang nito ay kailangan nating magtanan," he half-joked, despited the fact that he could feel his heart breaking into a billion little pieces. He knew in his heart of hearts that he would run away with her anytime that she wanted - so long as she gave him the word. He would leave everyone and everything behind for her. "Ikaw. Ako. Bukas. Pupunta tayo kahit saan mo pa gusto. Sa Hilaga, kung gusto mo."_

_She stared at him, as if seeing him in a new light. She leaned forward almost imperceptibly, eyes widening. "Nagbibiro ka nanaman ba?" she whispered._

_He shook his head, suddenly full of resolve. He was only twenty - treated as at least three years younger - but he knew who would be spending the rest of his life with. "Binibining Peralta, mag-iisang taon na tayong magkakilala, pero alam mo... ano..." Why did he have to be tongue-tied now, of all times? "Ikaw lang ang gusto kong makasama habambuhay."_

_Her blushed deepened, but she definitely was not offended in any way by his words. That was good. "Naramdaman ko rin iyon para sa iyo, Eduardo, ngunit paano ang mga magulang ko? Ang mga magulang mo?"_

_"Pupunta tayo sa malayo. Sa Bulacan. May mga kamag-anak si Nanay doon. Matagal na akong pinapupunta doon upang magtrabaho pero ayaw akong paalisin ni Tatay." He smiled, feeling like he grew up in the span of a few minutes. "Hindi naman mangungulila sa akin si Tatay, marami akong kapatid na tutulong sa panaderia."_

_She smiled. "Gagawin mo ang lahat ng iyon para sa akin?"_

_He nodded solemnly. "Kung gugustuhin mo."_

**Monday, 12-14-15, 8:45 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

He was still feeling on top of the world by the time he reached the apartment. Even just walking through the garage felt like walking through the clouds. He fumbled on the back door's latch and nearly fell flat on his face when he finally found his way inside. Luckily it seemed like dinner was already done, and no one was able to witness that potentially embarrassing moment.

Jose waved at him from the living room, where he was watching some Word War II documentaries with Jay and Manuel. "Kamusta yung date?" he asked.

Manuel chuckled. "Sigurado akong humagikgik at nagdaldalan lang yung mga yan, ito talaga. Masyadong dalisay si Ed."

"Yan, kuya? Dalisay? Baka maharot."

"Yun na nga din yung iniisip ko eh. Baka naka-first base na yan." Jay shifted on her beanbag and set down the knife she was playing with. "Ano, Kuya Ed, hanggang saan ka inabot ngayon?"

"Tumahimik nga kayo," Rusca replied, flustered. He fanned himself with a nervous laugh. "Iba nanaman iniisip niyo eh."

"Mahal ka lang namin." Manuel stuck out his tongue at him before turning back to the documentary.

He shook his head with a laugh and headed up the stairs. He found Joven and Goyong talking quietly in the hallway. They both looked up as he approached. Joven grinned at him. "Uy, Ed! Kamusta yung date?"

"Ok naman," he replied as he leaned against the wall. "Wala pa namang inabot na kahit ano."

Goyong raised his eyebrow. "Di nga?"

"Hindi nga! Bebelabs naman eh." He felt himself turning redder and redder under their scrutiny. Not a good thing. "Ano, nagkwentuhan lang, naglakad-lakad, nanood ng Mockingjay..."

Joven laughed. "Ang dali mo namang maging defensive, pre. Oo nga pala, magswimming daw tayo sa Pangasinan next month. May kilala daw si Kuya Andoy dun, mura lang naman yung cottage."

"Basta wag niyo akong lulunurin," added Goyong. "Baka magkasapakan tayo pag ginawa niyo yun."

Well, a short holiday wouldn't be bad. He's never been to Pangasinan though the boy general seemed to like it there. He supposed it was high time to get acquainted in with the place. He just hoped that he could find someone to prank with a jellyfish to the face or something.

**Tuesday, 12-15-15, 1:15 PM, Tea-rad Pass**

He was in charge of baking that day, meaning that there wasn't much to do while simply waiting for the pastries in the oven. He found himself sitting by the bar, endlessly infuriating Goyong by stabbing his hand with a fork and watching the wound heal in less than a minute. The latter played along like a good sport, though he did cheerfully threaten to flay  _someone_ alive for being such an annoying little twit.

All for fun, of course.

"Wala ka talagang kwentang kaibigan, Ruscababes," Goyong was complaining as he served three cups off hot coffee to a group of regulars. "Sinasaktan mo ako."

"Ganyan akong magmahal," he retorted.

Joven laughed at that. He nearly dropped the stack of ledgers he was working on and scrambled to get everything in order again. "Tough love pala ang gusto mo, ano? Alam ba ni Nena yan?"

"Alam ko ang ano?" His stomach nearly flipped out of its place when he recognized the voice of the person who stepped to the counter for her order. Nena's hair was loose that day, and she flashed him a dimpled smile before turning back to Jay, who was manning the order station that day.

His mouth was hanging open but he didn't really care. He could faintly hear Goyong and Joven talking to him though he couldn't make out what they were saying. It was like he had tunnel vision, and all he could do was stare at  _her._ He was acting like an idiot but it wasn't such a big deal. He was sure that he would always act like an idiot around girls that drove him crazy - well, the only girl that drove him crazy.

"O Dios ko, tinamaan na nga ata itong kaibigan ko," Joven said, pinching his arm painfully. He was as bad as his sister at times - in a good way, if that made sense. "Kelan mo ba kami ipapakilala sakanya?"

He made a face. "Gago, di pa man nga ako nanliligaw..."

Nena sat right beside him instead of making a beeline for her usual spot. A big, teasing smile lit up her face as she cupped her chin and regarded him with unusually bright eyes. "Oh, bakit ganyan hitsura mo?" she asked.

"Ganyan talaga yan pag nakakita ng chicks," joked Goyong. He gave her his brightest smile - the kind that must have made the girls from a previously era fall to on their knees and beg for him to bed them. He seemed oblivious to Jay's death glare. "Inlababo lang yan."

Joven snickered as he turned away from his work. "Magkakilala kami magmula pa nung grade three. Sigurado akong  _never_ pang naging ganyan yan pagdating sa babae. Tinamaan na ata ng tuluyan sayo."

"Huy!" He felt his cheeks turn redder and redder with every sentence dropped by his friends. "Mga takte, wag kayong harsh!"

She smiled at them and inclined her head. "Hi, ako si Nena Peralta. Um, masasabi niyo siguro na regular na ako dito."

"Joven Hernando, proprietor."

"Goyong del Pilar, barista."

The two were still giving Rusca their knowing grins, which were starting to get infuriating. Luckily Jay was there to diffuse the situation - by hitting Goyong with her shoe.

"Gago, ayusin mo na yung order niya, hindi yung nakiki-chismis ka diyan," she scoffed before turning back to Nena. "Pasensya na, ha? Medyo gago lang tong nanliligaw sakin." She held out her hand. "Jay Hernando."

Nena smiled and took her hand. "Hi."

"Magkakasama kaming apat sa iisang bubong at sa totoo lang nakakastress mag-alaga ng anim na lalake," continued Jay. "Tapos ikaw lang ang babae sa bahay? Takte, I don't recommend that."

Rusca gave her his darkest glare. "Huy, anong sinasabi mo? Mas lalake ka pa nga sa iba samin eh!"

Joven nodded sagely. "Pasensya na ha, medyo wild lang talaga tong mga housemates ko. Makita mo pa sana pag kumpleto kami." He shook his head. "Well, makikilala mo din naman sila pag niligawan ka na ni Ed."

Goyong snickered as he set down Nena's order in front of her, a big grin on his face. "Kelan nga ba, Ruscababes?"

He stared at him flatly. "Gago ka talaga bebelabs."

That earned them Nena's loudest, most beautiful laugh. "Ang cute niyo namang magkakaibigan."

Jay sat leaned against the counter, shaking her head. "Cute? Makita mo sana mga yan pag nagsama sama sila at nagbabangayan. Baka mag-iba yung paningin mo sakanila."

"Bakit ba nagpapaka-anghel ka?" asked Joven. "Ikaw kaya yung nagsunog ng kumot sa sala nung minsan!"

"Malay ko bang may laman yung gas lighter na nilabas niyo galing sa basement," she shot back.

Nena leaned toward Rusca, her eyes gleaming in amusement. "Ayaw pa ninyong maniwala na ang cute niyong magkakaibigan," she noted. "Pero oo nga, kung ganyan araw araw sa bahay niyo - boarding house ba? - pakiramdam ko din mababaliw ako sa gulo niyo."

He rolled his eyes. "Mild pa yan, sa totoo lang. Pito palang kami ngayon, may lilipat pa kaming ka-tropa next week. Isipin ko pa nga lang sumasakit na yung ulo ko."

Boneheads they may be, but he genuinely did care about Team Hijo de Puta. They drove each other crazy in a good way, and they did have each other's back through thick and thin - hadn't recent events proven that yet? None of them cared if it was family drama, life threatening situations, or even supernatural matters. They were all as thick as thieves when it came to support - and he was glad for it.

_Hindi lahat sinuswerte sa mga ganyang kaibigan. May mga naglalaglagan at nagiiwanan._

"Nakakabaliw sila, pero alam mo, para na rin kaming pamilya. I couldn't ask for more," he admitted. "Kung may inisan man sobrang madalian lang - at madalas dahil lang nag-aalala kami para sa isa't isa. _Alang mipapaburen._ "  _Walang napapabayaan._

She smiled in understanding.  _"Malagad mu ing kanyang lugud kareng kaluguran mung ali mu naman kadaya." Madalang lang ang ganyang pagmamahal mula sa mga kaibigan mong hindi mo naman kadugo._

He nodded, watching his friends still bantering with each other. "Kahit gago sila, mahal na mahal ko yung mga yan."

 _Kahit_ _ilang beses pa kaming mamatay at isilang muli, magkukrus parin ang mga landas namin. At siyempre oks na oks lang sakin yun. Yan ang true friendship, literal na neverending._

**Tuesday, 12-15-15, 6:00 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

Joven approached him in their room that night, a piece of paper in hand. He instantly recognized it as the letter from Goyong - the letter that contained nothing but apologies for multiple war crimes and some coordinates. He raised an eyebrow as he regarded his oldest and best friend. "Anong meron dito? Magtreasure hunting ba tayo? Nag-Tomb Raider na si Goyong at Jose dati. Tayo din ba?"

Joven nodded with a small grin. "Parang ganoon na nga. Sana nga lang wala pang nakahanap doon sa mga papers, sayang naman kasi kung mapupunta lang sa wala yung pinaghirapan ko."

He tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Kung sa tingin mong magiging worth it to, edi bakit hindi? Go ako diyan."

"Kailangan kong malaman, Ed. Sinabi nga niya sa akin na tinago niya yung mga notes. Gusto kong makita kung nasa kundisyon pa ang mga ito at kung kailangan pa bang ipublish." Joven's gaze flickered to him - haunted, tired, terrified. "At pwede ko ring i-edit ang mga ito ngayong alam na natin kung ano talagang nangyari sayo."

A chill ran down his spine as he heard those words. Was it even still necessary? He didn't even care where they buried or dumped his body. He was alive, his memories were intact, and that's what mattered to him the most. Then again, people found importance in different things.

_Sino ba ako para husgahan ang mga tao?_

"Kung sa tingin mo talaga na importante yun, hindi kita pipigilan," he finally said. "Wala naman atang nakakaalala sa akin."

Joven's smile seemed to belong to a much older man. "Importante to para samin, Ed."

He didn't really understand what his friend meant, but he was grateful - and maybe there were some things that didn't have to be confined to the dark bowels of history forever.


	9. Neptune

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rusca needs some help in the romance department. Again.

_The woods surrounding the town of Arayat used to be dark and full of terrors in his eyes, but it was a form of solace now. He stumbled through the cramped path, holding Nena's hand and leading her forward while carrying their luggage. It's been a week since the news of her betrothal, and the two of them quickly schemed to run away after that._

_He kept asking her if she had any regrets regarding her decision, and all she gave him was a firm "Hinding hindi ko pagsisisihan ito."_

_She was beautiful, tired, but the light of hope in her eyes heartened him. "Mahal kita, Eduardo," she told him._

_"Mahal din kita," he whispered._

_He was the wind, and he would guide her to safety._

**Wednesday, 12-16-15, 2:30 PM, Tea-rad Pass**

His stomach fluttered as he kept sneaking glances at her from his post by the kitchen. Not even the smell of baking bread - which used to help him focus - could tear his gaze away from the lovely lady that kept distracting him. He didn't even care about the fact that he was sporting a big, goofy smile. Joven already checked in and teased him a couple of times, making him blush.

He tries to lull his thoughts with the repetitive motions of kneading the dough, but they kept turning back to the matter at hand - he had to tell her who he was, who  _they_ were, in a way that she would believe him. He knew that it was much harder than it sounded, unless she already remembered everything and was just as hesitant as he was to approach the matter. That would have been an amusing twist though.

By the time he finished with his work and simply had to wait for his shift to end, he ended up sitting by the bar, chatting up Goyong yet again. It was starting to become regular habit now that the boy general had no murderer to catch. He leaned against the counter, breathing in the smell of coffee. He could feel Nena's gaze from her spot in the cafe but he was still in his shift and had to act like it.

"Ano ba yan, Ruscababes, wag kang papahalata na tense ka," Goyong said cheerfully. He set down the mugs that he was fiddling with and peered at him with those frustratingly  _intense_ eyes. "Siyempre magtataka siya kung may nagawa ba siyang mali o ano - o baka isipin niyang may binabalak kang hindi maganda."

"Gaya mo?" A smirk quirked up Rusca's lips. "Uy, pre, I need your advice nga pala."

"Ikaw, hihingi ng advice sa dating fuckboy? Bed tips ba yan?" Goyong stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Hindi, biro lang. Parang napakabigat naman niyan. Bakit sakin ka nagtatanong?"

He shrugged. "Busy si Joven at di ko alam kung may maibibigay na advice si Jay. Alam mo kasi... gusto ko nang ligawan si Nena."

Goyong seemed surprised by that. "Akala ko nililigawan mo na." He paused as he received a customer's order from Jay and proceeded to set it up for them. "Pero sino ba ako para humusga, ganyan din naman ang sitwasyon ko dati, ano?"

He let out a huff of breath. He knew that none of the team would judge anyone else, but he knew that he was facing the only member who had more than plenty of experience with women. "Gusto ko kasing malaman kung may... naaalala ba siya sa mga nangyari sa amin noon. Ayaw kong manligaw habang may ganito akong tinatago. Hindi kaya ng kunsensya ko." He stopped, gauging his friend's reaction.

Goyong smiled lightly. "Medyo mabigat na desisyon yan."

"Alam ko." He was going to hold his ground on this - one of the rare times that he would. "Gregorio, si Nena to."

"Alam ko." Goyong echoed his own words. "Wala naman akong sinabing hindi kita bibigyan ng payo."

He nodded as solemnly as he could. "Hindi ko alam kung sasabihin kong mahal ko na siya, o mahal ko  _parin_ siya." Well, maybe that was the thing about reincarnation. Some situations tended to be on the murky side.

"Ganyan ang sitwasyon nating lahat, wag kang mag-alala." Goyong chuckled softly. "Naku. Basta ang hantong nito ay inlababo ka, diba? Kasi siyempre karapatan nga naman niyang malaman yung nakaraan niyo. Masakit nga lang - lalo na at... namatay ka noong giyera pero..."

Rusca knew that Goyong was still hesitant to discuss what happened in the past, but they were both moving forward, weren't they? "Alam ko din yun. Natatakot lang ako na baka isipin niyang baliw na ako o ano. Hindi naman lahat naniniwala sa reincarnation diba? At mas lalong hindi lahat maniniwala sa pinagdaanan mo."

"Mismo." Goyong's smile widened into a wry one. "Alam mo, subukan mong magpaalala sakanya sa mga simpleng paraan. Gawin mo ang mga ginagawa ni Eduardo Rusca noon - basta applicable ha. Medyo weird naman siguro kung ipakita mo yung pagka-gurang mo sakanya."

"Look who's talking!" Rusca swatted his arm lightly with a chuckle. "One hundred and forty years old kana, bro."

**Wednesday, 12-16-15, 3:00 PM, Tea-rad Pass**

He found himself sitting beside her again, making her jump. "Nagulat ka ba, binibini? Pasensya na," he murmured, recalling the first words he spoke to her from lifetimes ago.

She smiled - there it was, the amused glint in her eyes. "Hindi naman, ginoo."

The hair on the back of his neck prickled.  _Naaalala mo na ba? O naramdaman mo lang na kailangan mong isagot yun?_ He still gave her his brightest smile. It was what he did all the time, after all. "Kamusta naman?" he asked as nonchalantly as he could.

She gave him another of those smiles - tantalizing and interesting and maddeningly beautiful. "Eto, magaan lang ang workload ngayon though medyo busy din dahil sa Christmas party ng mga bata. Masaya naman kaya ayos lang din. Nakapaglagay na kami ng decorations, bumili na ako ng mga prizes sa games... alam mo bang sasayaw yung mga bunso sa klase?"

He couldn't help but bask in her enthusiasm. It was as infectious as her smile. "Kailangan mo ba ng tulong? Mukhang exciting nga yan."

She blushed and looked away quickly, her eyes flitting through the other people in the cafe. "Nakakahiya naman, ikaw talaga."

"Alam mo namang walang hiya si Eduardo Rusca, hindi ba?" he asked, his voice a devilishly low but mischievous purr. "Ano bang nakakahiya sa pagtulong? So meron nga?"

"Meron nga, pero wag na, baka naman may pinagkakaabalahan kang iba," she insisted, fingers fumbling with a stray lock of her hair. "Maghahanap lang naman ako ng mga maliliit na gifts para sa sa mga bata, kaya ko na naman siguro yun."

He pouted before leaning forward, locking eyes with her. "Sigurado ka, ha? Alam mo namang free ako pag ganitong oras."

She pinched his cheek. It stung a little but otherwise felt  _wonderful._ "Sige na nga. Mapilit ka pala sa ganyan ano? Actually aalis na ako mayamaya para mamili eh."

He frowned slightly at that. His eyes flicked to the window and the thick sheet of rain cascading to the streets. "Seryoso ka? Pinlano mong mag-gift hunting sa lakas ng ulan na yan? Pano kung nagkasakit ka at di nakapunta sa party ng klase mo? Kawawa naman ang mga bata."

"Ed, mag-iingat naman ako ano?" She chuckled softly and took a long swig from her coffee cup. "Pero kung gusto mong tumulong ngayon ayos lang, pero nakakahiya kasi talaga."

"Sus, wala naman akong hiya." He laughed and tapped the tip of her nose. "Sige, ako ang magiging chaperone mo ngayon."

The sparkle in her eyes can never be described in proper words. "Yan na ba ang itatawag ko sayo mula ngayon? Chaperone?"

"Boyfriend kung gusto mo," he purred, earning her snicker.

"Akalain mong kaya mo palang magbiro ng ganyan." She finished her drink and turned to him. "Ano, tara na?"

 _Hindi ako nagbibiro, huy. Masakit._ "Tara na," he echoed, feeling a little deflated.

**Wednesday, 12-16-15, 4:45 PM, Marquee Mall**

The crowd entering the mall was made up mostly of soggy, shivering, disgruntled teens. The holiday traffic was as infuriating as ever - the mall being situated right beside the Angeles exit for NLEX didn't help one bit in easing it. The stormy skies outside did provide a temporary abode for everyone - sightseers and shoppers alike.

He took off his beanie the moment that the icy air conditioning hit their faces. A shudder ran through his damp body, echoing through the folds and stitches of his soaked clothes. "Di ko inasahan na ganyan kalamig ngayon," he admitted.

Nena nodded with a shudder. "Hindi man nga natin akalain na aabot dito yung ulan eh."

Before he could stop himself, his arm was already on her shoulders, holding her close. "Ayan, para sabay nalang tayong mangisay."

She didn't shrug his arm away - as a matter of fact, she looked very comfortable. That was a good sign. "Magandang idea yan," she said.

They walked around for a while, flitting in and out of stores that caught her interest. He didn't mind drifting around. _He was the wind_ , and the wind never stayed still unless when it mattered the most. Small fractals of memories from an era long gone danced through his mind as he kept his arm around Nena.

_Naaalala mo ba yung nakaraan na tumatakbo sa isip ko ngayon?_

"Ed, ayos ka lang?" she asked softly. "Parang ang lalim ng iniisip mo."

He shook his head as they stepped into the third floor. "Ayos lang ako. Iniisip ko lang yung ano... yung kwento tungkol sa ninuno ko."  _Ninuno ko na nagkataon na past life ko din._

She nodded in understanding. "Ano nga ba yung kwentong yan? Nakakacurious naman."

Torn, he deliberated between saying something far-fetched or staying close to the truth. It might give her an inkling regarding their shared past - but she might also find him too odd. Seconds ticked by before he finally smiled and forced himself to make up his mind. He watched her closely, and she stared back at him.

"Galing kasi ng Arayat yung ninuno ko - anak ng panadero," he explained. "Kaso nung nagkaroon na ng revolution sumali siya sa Katipunan. Nagtrabaho pa nga para kay Antonio Luna eh."

Nena seemed interested enough. She nodded along to his words. "So, ito ba yung ancestor na sinasabi mong pinanggalingan ng pangalan mo?" she asked.

He nodded. "Mismo. Ewan ko lang pero pag minsan kasi may nararamdaman akong  _connection_ sakanya. Siguro na rin kasi kapangalan ko siya."

"Baka naman reincarnation mo," joked Nena.

A jolt ran down his spine at those words. Just how much was did she know, and how much was from her intuition? "Medyo kahawig ko nga daw." He shrugged good-naturedly. "Malay ko ba, isa lang ang picture niya sa bahay at hindi naman ganun kagandahan ang quality."

She smiled and inclined her head. "Mukhang interesting ang mga buhay ng mga Eduardo Rusca, ano?"

_Sa umpisa lang. Nauuwi din sa tragedy._

"Siguro nga," he finally said. "Depende narin sa definition ng 'interesting'"

**Wednesday, 12-16-15, 8:45 PM, Holy Angel Village**

He nearly jumped out of his skin when he found out that she lived two blocks away from Luna's home - and like his former general, she lived in a modestly-sized, simple bungalow instead of the two-or-three-storey monstrosities that most residents of the subdivision prefered. Judging from the darkness, no one seemed to be home.

"Nasa Maynila kasi mga magulang ko," she explained. "At may pasok pa si Marty hanggang mamayang alas nueve."

He nodded thoughtfully. "Ok ka lang na ikaw mag-isa diyan?" he asked.

"Ikaw talaga. Sanay na ako, palagi naman ganyan dito eh." She unlocked the car door and turned back to him. "Ed, salamat ha?"

He nodded, feeling turmoil in such an intensity as he's never had before. It was like a tempest in his mind, blowing away so much thoughts that should have been relevant. He forced out a smile. "Basta ba ikaw," he murmured.

There was something different about the glitter in her eyes - something more decided. "Hindi na ako magdududa dun," she admitted with a soft laugh. "Sweet ka parin."

His cheeks flushed. He tried to be nothing but a nice guy - yes, he knew everyone was annoyed with him - but he always did his best to stay nice. He wasn't sure about being sweet. He never even knew how. He ducked his head, hoping that she wouldn't notice his face. "A-Alam mo bang ngayon palang may nagsabi sa akin na sweet ako." He covered his face, futilely fighting off the flustered feeling.

Her smile could be heard through her voice. "Totoo naman ah. Ang sweet mo. Madalang lang yung mga ganyan." She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "Sige ha? Magluluto pa ako ng dinner ni Marty. Ingat ka."

"Ingat ka rin," he stammered, watching her hop out of the car.

He made sure that she was safely inside before he drove off. His heart was hammering wildly in his chest and the blood in his veins seemed to burn with an unusual intensity. His head was still pleasantly, madly in the clouds though. It was an odd sensation - the floating and the fiery sensations conflicting madly with each other. The fact that he arrived home safely and without causing vehicular accidents was a miracle at that rate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ang awkward ni Ruscababes ano? Gusto ko siyang ibalot sa kumot at bigyan ng ensaymada't kape <3


	10. A Head Full of Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bem bem plat twes!

_They were married at the back of the church, with only the native priest as witness. She was dressed in a simple white blouse and a blue skirt - a set he purchased for her during his week of working in the small Pueblo of Angeles._

_It was just a small church in a small barangay. It wasn't even the kind of wedding that he hoped for the two of them. Still, he could still see the sparkle of glee in her tired eyes as they exchanged their vows._

_"Patawarin mo ako," he whispered in her ear as they marched hand in hand to the small room that the priest offered to them for the night. "Hindi ko ginusto na mangyari ito sa atin - mahal na mahal kita, at walang magpapabago sa aking mga salita."_

_"Ngunit ito lamang ang maaari nating gawin upang magsama tayo, at naiintindihan ko iyon," she assured him. "Mahal kita, Eduardo, at susundan kita hanggang sa saan mang sulok ng mundo."_

_They exchanged smiles as they carefully locked the door behind them. It was supposed to be their wedding night - and both of them were clueless as to what they were supposed to be doing. It seemed to matter not to either of them. He beheld her gaze, knowing that for better or for worse, they were now man and wife._

_He never expected to be married at twenty-one._

_The brilliant gleam of her eyes heartened him. "Tatlong linggo nalang at aabot na tayo sa Pulilan. Maaari tayong tumira kina Tiyo Juanito, matagal na niya akong gustong magtrabaho sa palayan niya."_

_She smiled. "Wala akong pangamba, Eduardo. Nandito tayo, magkasama, at iyon ang mahalaga para sa akin."_

_They spent their first night as man and wife in each other's arms, thankful that they had each other even if they had nothing else to their names._

**Thursday, 12-17-15, 12:15 PM, Tea-rad Pass**

_Kung kailan wala nang ulan doon sila nag-cancel ng klase._

He sat behind the counter boredly - Jay was on baking duty that day - and tried his best not to doze off. It was still terribly cloudy outside but it didn't look like it would segue into rain. Not even the college students - dubbed "waterproof" by everyone else - seemed to want to review for their midterms in the cafe. The hours ticked by in an excruciatingly slow way as a result.

His mind strayed to the previous night, the way her lips brushed softly against his burning cheek. The memory still drove him mad - worse since Nena decided not to drop by that day. It's so difficult to focus on other things - especially work - when nothing much was happening that day after all.

Goyong took pity on him and stuffed some bills into the counter before whipping up some custom ensaymada tiramusu frappe for him. "Parang iiyak ka kasi diyan eh," he explained cheekily. "Napano ba?"

"Huy, alam ko yung tingin na yan," Rusca argued miserably. "Hindi naman kami nag-away o ano."

"May boyfriend na? Babae ang preference?" Goyong kept on firing questions. "Sinubukan mong ikama? Baka hinipuan mo yan?"

"Gago." He sipped his drink aggressively. "Hindi, wala namang away o tampuhan o ano. Masyado kang assuming. Napapaisip lang ako sa mga nangyari kagabi."

Goyong leaned across the divider that separated their sides of the bar. "Anyare nga?"

He shrugged. "Hinalikan ako sa pisngi." Why was his voice breaking?

Goyong nodded sagely. "Ah, rite of passage yan pre. Ibig sabihin niyan... ah, ano nga ba yung salitang yun - attracted. Attracted na si Nena sa iyo at malamang may nararamdaman na siya. May possibilidad na hindi lamang niya naiintindihan kung ano ito pero meron na."

"Gago wag kang paasa," he argued. His stomach fluttered with Goyong's words, though. "Nakakainis ka."

"Kinikilig ka," the boy general pointed out. "K-I-N-I-K-I-L-I-G. Naaalala mo pa ba yung patalastas noon? Sigurado akong naabutan mo yun. Uy kilig! Uy kinikilig!"

He swatted his friend's shoulder in exasperation. "Del Pilar, wag kang ganyan. Sumasakit ang ulo ko."

"Aba, mas lalong sumasakit ang ulo ko sayo, pinipigilan mo pa ang kilig. Tanggapin mo na kasi eh." Goyong sounded honest enough. "May pag-asa ka kay Nena. At bakit hindi? Mabait ka naman, hindi fuckboy."

"Sana lang magdilang anghel ka," grumbled Rusca.

**Thursday, 12-17-15, 7:30 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

He was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling as the unrelenting rain continued to bombard the outside world. He held his phone a little too tightly for comfort, fingers trembling as he tried to justify the sudden, mad idea to call her. She could be busy, she could be sick, she might not want to talk to him anymore for all he knew.

Seconds, then minutes passed as he struggled with his indecision. He always found an excuse to counter his desire to call her. He hated it, the way the tempest of his thoughts sometimes worked. It was like wind blowing in different directions, swirling around but leaving him with no actual guidance. He never could calm them unless the matter was deathly serious.

His phone rang and he picked it up immediately, not even bothering to see who called.

"Hello?" he asked, half-hoping it was Nena.

"Kuya Ed?"

The hair on the back of his neck prickled. He was talking to his cousin, Martin - one of two cousins on his father's side who were actually acting like decent human beings to him.

"May problema ba?" he asked quickly, wondering why his cousin would be calling.

Martin laughed. "Nag-aaral parin kami dito sa Assumption ni Briel, ikaw talaga." Briel was his twin sister - the other cousin who was actually nice to Rusca. "Yung kambal na dating nakatira sa kabilang apartment dito kasi na-hire daw sila sa Angeles. Nagtatanong kung may makakatulong sakanila na mag-ikot ikot diyan sa Sabado."

Rusca contemplated it. He didn't have anything to do on Saturday, anyway - unless some miracle happened and he ended up on a dinner date with Nena. At least he could file it away under his wildest dreams.

He sighed and agreed. "Basta ba ibigay mo yung contact number nila sakin para hindi magulo, ha?"

Martin chuckled on the other line. "Kuya naman, kilala mo ako. Oh siya, magrereview ako at last day ng prelims namin bukas. Salamat ha? Ingat ka diyan."

The number was sent to his phone via text message just a few minutes after his call - the contact name was  _Julian_ _del Pilar._ A sudden chill settled between his shoulders. The name threw him off guard - though he knew that it could just be coincidence. Then again, he learned that a lot of things in his life were  _more_ than just that. Something greater seemed to move them like chess pieces, like the minute pieces on the gears of a massive clock.

Didn't Goyong have an elder brother named Julian?

He closed his eyes, trying to drown out the sound of the rain. He knew that the team already survived the greatest hurdle, but he had a feeling that they still had mysteries left to solve - and Joven's long-lost papers just scratched the surface of the matter. Then again, what can he do. He was just the wind that blew as it went.

_Natatangay lang naman ako ng mga taong sinlakas ng isang sigua - si Heneral Luna at si Goyong. Kaya ko bang maging hangin na kayang makipagsabayan sa mga ito?_

He had always been a gentle breeze with a tempest in his core. Could he bring out this tempest? Could he be strong enough to face the future without going with the flow?

**Saturday, 12-19-15, 8:10 AM, Holy Rosary Parish**

He was standing at the church courtyard, impatiently tapping his feet as he waited for his cousins' former neighbors to arrive. It was still cloudy though there was only a slight chance of rain. The morning traffic was still miraculously light, to his surprise. It usually reached headache-levels during that time of the day.

Two tall men around his age - dressed in identical black hoodies and jeans - hopped off one of the yellow jeepneys that regularly passed by the main church road. The first one he noted was sturdily-built, with untidy thick hair and sideburns. The other wan was slender, part of his face covered by thick bangs, black-framed eyeglasses concealing his eyes.

Rusca felt his phone ring and looked up to see that the first man - the one with the sideburns - was on his phone too. Smiling, he still answered the call. "Hello, Ed Rusca, baker."

"Hello. Julian del Pilar, graphic artist." Even the voice sounded straight out of his memories - memories of that tall, quiet man who always shadowed his younger, higher-ranking brother. "Pinsan ni Martin, ano?"

"Oo. Kayo na ata yung nakikita ko sa may gate," he confessed.

"Ah, ikaw yung nakasilong sa labas ng simbahan? Teka puntahan na kita, ha?"

Julian del Pilar in the flesh was standing by the church gates - and Rusca just belatedly realized it. He looked a few years younger than the he was when he followed Goyong around - hey, he actually was around the same age as his once-brother - and they still looked like they could pass off as twins.

He waved timidly at Rusca. "Pasensya na sa abala," he began. He motioned to his companion. "Kakambal ko, si Julio."

Rusca nodded to the other man - he also resembled Julian, almost identical as twins often were - and smiled. "Hi."

Julio smiled - unsettling with his sort-of emo getup - and nodded. "Ayos naman pala sa Angeles, ano? Less clutter kung ikukumpara mo sa San Fernando."

"Mas maliit nga lang," he noted. "Taga-doon kayo ano?"

Julio nodded. "Laking San Fernando, sinilang sa Bulacan."'

"Ah, kaya pala." Rusca motioned to the church behind him. "Well, ano, umpisahan na ba natin ang tour?"

_Sasabihin ko ba kay Goyong to?_

**Saturday, 12-19-15, 1:30 AM, Holy Rosary Parish**

They parted ways after half a day of roaming around the city, helping the twins familiarize themselves with the local public transport routes and places of note. He was surprised by the amount of historical information he knew about the small - usually boring - city. The brothers hung on to his every word, asking a few questions every now and then. He even offered to escort them to the Pamintuan Mansion - which Julian would find familiar - but they declined.

Julian regarded him with a serene smile, hands in his pockets. "Huy, salamat ulit ha?" he said.

He couldn't stop himself from saluting in the old-fashioned way. "Walang anuman. Hindi ako expert sa Angeles - yung kaibigan kong si Joven yun - pero feel free to contact me pag may tanong kayo."

Julian's grin widened, as if he was waiting for this moment since that morning. "Kapitan Rusca?"

He smiled back. "Mismo, Koronel."

"May mga katulad pala kami dito. Akala ko coincidence lang yung apelido ng pinsan mo. Akala ko nga di mo ako naaalala eh." Julian scratched his cheek awkwardly. "Madami kaming kasalanan sayo, Ed."

"Wala na yun." Rusca was wary of discussing anything regarding Goyong, afraid that he might open old wounds. He turned to the other twin. "Ehm, ikaw din ba... ganito?"

Julio grunted. "Ako dati si Julio Nakpil, hindi ko alam bakit nakasama ko tong mokong na to."

"Anyway, nice meeting you, Ed." Julian's smile was genuine, far from the quiet, icy soldier that Rusca knew briefly from before. "See you around."

He watched them walk away, wondering what  _exactly_ happened and what he had gotten himself into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys. I'm not sorry. At all. Let the Plooception begin.


	11. Pag-ibig

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rusca goes on kilig mode.

_They were free to lead new lives in Bulacan. Tiyo Juanito welcomed them with open arms and gladly gave him a new job in the rice fields. It was considerably laborious  when compared to his previous job in his father's panaderia, but he learned to love it in time._

_Nena gave birth to their son about three years after they settled down in Tiyo Juanito's home, in the year 1895. They named him Rafael, after his grandfather._

_A year passed peacefully and he watched his son grow to a vibrant child._

_Whispers of the blooming revolution pervaded the air as men continually marched southward to join this so-called Katipunan. Three of his own cousins have already left the fields, armed their bolos and knives. He was given a balisong by one of them before the three left, but he wasn't sure about whether he should go through with it or not. It didn't seem like a good idea at that time, and he was wary of leaving his family._

_Another year passed, and news of war breaking out reached his family's ears again. This time the Spanish army have begun to root out members of the revolution and also slaughtered those who had nothing to do with it. His cousin Juancho was already dead from all the fighting that ocurred in Manila. Uncle Juanito already sold the farm and was preparing to take the entire family back to Arayat._

_He wasn't sure if that was a good idea, as they eloped to escape the pressure that their society in Arayat brought upon them._

_"Hindi na nila tayo mapaghihiwalay," Nena assured him quietly as she rocked Elena to sleep. "Kasal tayo sa mata ng Dios at may anak na din tayo."_

_He nodded, though it did nothing to silence the tempest that was roaring in his head. He wanted to take his wife and son and run far away. He was a coward, he knew, but he would do anything to keep his family safe. If that included fleeing, then he would gladly do it._

**Monday, 12-21-15, 11:00 AM, Tea-rad Pass**

The sun was shining brightly again, though the weather was fairly cooler on account of how late it was in the year. The Christmas break has started among the local schools, meaning that their customers that day were mostly comprised of regulars. The working students were off on their own holidays, but it wasn't exactly a big deal for the staff. It was a slow day, though the talk of the approaching holidays took the edge off it.

He found himself behind the counter again that day, trying to help Goyong in getting started in social media sites. "Ang tagal tagal mo nang may gadgets, kahit Facebook o Twitter lang wala ka?" he complained.

"Masyado akong madaling mapaghalataan na hindi tumatanda o di kaya mapansin nilang may kakaiba sa akin kung gagawa ako ng social media account tapos bigla nalang maglalaho pagkatapos ng ibang taon." Goyong shrugged and tried to work on registering his email address yet again. "Maraming salamat pala sa pagtulong ha?"

He smirked at his friend. "Gago, hindi libre yan huy!"

Goyong grinned back. "Anong gusto mo, kiss?"

Jay peeked out of the kitchen, a playful scowl of the face. The scent of cinammon and chocolate wafted from behind her. "Naglalandian nanaman kayong dalawa sa oras ng trabaho," she complained.

Goyong strode over to her and wrapped an arm around her waist. "Baka gusto mo ding sumali."

"Gago," Jay growled with a soft chuckle. She turned to Rusca with gleaming eyes. "Kamusta naman kayo ni Ate Nena?"

He felt his stomach drop. He hasn't seen her since that day they went out. He was too much of a coward to call her back - but now something in him stirred. He was going to reach out and contact her before he made a mess of things in the way that only he could. Their stares seemed to weigh heavily upon him and he had to avert his gaze.

"Ayos lang naman kami," he mumbled.

They gave him worried looks and he couldn't do anything but squirm.

He excused himself during his lunch break and dialled her number, unable to take the sudden silence anymore. He let out a small relieved huff of breath when she answered after two rings.

"Hello?" she asked breathily. "Ed?"

"Um, hi?" he began. He was supposed to be wondering what he should say but everything came spilling out. "Hi, pasensya na kung nakaabala ako, nag-aalala lang kasi ako na baka napano ka at kamusta kana - baka kasi galit ka sakin at ayaw mo nang makipagusap pero kung ganun naiintindihan ko kasi sobrang weird ko."

_Wow ha. Think before you speak pa more. Tangina this life._

She laughed - the mere sound of it made his brain go fuzzy even more. Well if he was being honest with himself, everything she did muddled up his thoughts. "Sira ka talaga," she finally said. "Hindi ka nakakaabala, pasensya na din kung hindi ako nagpakita lately, biglaan kasi kaming pinatawag sa Arayat. Ayos lang ako, may sakit lang si Lola Trining. Hindi ako galit sayo - ba't ako magagalit, ha? At gustong gusto kong nakikipagusap sayo. Hindi ka weird, nakakatuwa ka nga eh."

His cheeks flushed as he realized that she was able to keep up with his train of thought and actually answered everything. "Buti naman... akala ko natulak na kita palayo kasi, ano, wala akong experience sa mga babae - pwera sa mga pinsan at barkada - at ano... ang weird ko kasi eh tignan mo oh."

Her laughter intensified. It took her quite a while to master herself and respond. "Ed, gusto nga kitang kausap. Ang kulit mo, ha?"

He grinned from ear to ear at that statement. "Talaga?"

"Talaga. Promise." She sounded honest - well, Nena had always been honest, which was a good thing. "Pero ikaw kamusta? Ok ka lang diyan? May plano na ba kayo sa Pasko?"

"Di ko pa nga din alam anong plano namin, baka imbitahan daw kami ni Tito Tonyo sakanila pero di ko alam paano kami magkakasya dun." He shrugged. At least they were more than a squad now - they were a family. "Medyo tahimik sa cafe ngayon pero ayus lang, may oras makapag-isip."

"Ang lalim naman ata ng iniisip mo," she noted. "Wag papagutom at magpapakapagod ha?"

"Eh pano kung sasabihin kong iniisip kita?" he asked before he could stop himself.  _Gago ka, Ed! Magagalit yan!_

She paused for a while, as if contemplating his words. "Edi maganda," she finally said after a minute. "Kasi iniisip din kita."

It felt like he was free-falling through the sky thanks to her words. He felt an odd sensation in his stomach and he wasn't able to repsond for a few seconds.

"Seryoso ka ba?" he finally said. "N- No offense pero b-bakit mo naman ako iisipin? Ano lang naman ako, bum na mukhang adik."

"Hindi ka bum at hindi ka mukhang adik," she countered. It sounded like magic, the way she said it. She  _was_ magic personified, he supposed. "Iniisip kita kasi interesting ka, okay? Di ka weird."

"Um, sige, sabi mo eh." He was too flustered to say anything else.

"Itatanong ko sana kung bakit iniisip mo ako pero tawag na ako ni Nanay. Tawagan kita mamayang gabi, okay lang ba sayo?" she asked gently.

A gigantic smile lit up his face. "Oo naman, basta ikaw."

That was something he would be looking forward to. He just hoped he would be able to find the perfect answer to give her instead of looking like a complete fool. He seemed to have the penchant for that.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Filler chapter po. Next chap is more meaty and dun na din maguumpisa yung quest ni Ruscababes :3


	12. Partisan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rusca gets a not-so-brilliant idea.

_Every step that took them closer to Arayat felt like he was being brought closer and closer to his doom. His breath constricted when they reached San Fernando - they would be stepping into his old home in three days. He wasn't sure if he could face his father or if the man would even still accept him as his son. Then of course there was the very big possibility that they would be facing the wrath of the Peralta family in the foreseeable future. After all, he did run away with their eldest child, their only daughter._

_He had Nena and Rafael by his side. He loved his little family so much and he knew that he would do everything to protect his wife and child. He would wage wars and jump headfirst into the abyss if that was what's needed to keep the safe._

_In his youth, he once heard the elders discuss that Eduardo Rusca would never learn to grow up. They were wrong - so wrong._

* * *

_The incoming typhoon was whipping up a strong gale by the time they set foot in his hometowmn. The weather was the perfect description to what he was feeling when his eyes fell upon his old home. No, it didn't feel like home anymore, not to him. Gone where the days when the warmth of his father's bakery provided solace. Gone where the days when the woods at the foot of the dormant volcano provided him with an escape._

_He still marveled at the sight of the town's namesake, Mt. Arayat - his grandmother called it Alaya, the center of the world where the gigantic sun god slept. His father dismissed the tales as nothing but ridiculous, fanciful nonsense - but then again, everything that reminded him of his dead wife was nonsense to Artemio Rusca._

_Not to Eduardo, though. He was too much like his mother, and he had decided to fully embrace their similarities. The people in the barrio looked up as their weary group stepped in - and some of them stared at him in recognition._

_He gave them a half-hearted smile and a wave._

_Of course they would talk about him - the wayward son who found his way home - he braced himself for it, talked everything over with Nena. The panaderia was eerily empty when he arrived with his wife and child though._

* * *

**Tuesday, 12-22-15, 5:00 AM, Dau Terminal**

He wasn't even sure why he agreed to bring Goyong with him. He was just supposed to pick up Nonong from the bus terminal and drive straight home. But there he was, lugging his still-injured friend around.

"Dapat kasi magpahinga ka muna, gago," he said along he way. "Paano ka makakarecover agad kung gumaganyan ka na nga?"

Goyong stuck his tongue out. "Namiss ko si Nonong."

Rusca smiled. He knew that his friend was just making up for lost time - time he spent on worrying about his mission and finally becoming normal... or as normal as he could ever get.  _Ngayon mo palang na-appreciate ang buhay mo, kung kelan muntik ka nang mamatay, ano?_

The wind was unforgivingly cold as it was drizzling lightly. He took off his cap and handed it to his friend. "Bago pa madagdagan hospital bills mo," he said with a grunt.

The holiday rush meant that a great deal of people were crowding the terminal and the fast food establishments surrounding it. The smell of baked bread wafted from a nearby bakery and he felt his stomach growl. He was going to pull Nonong and Goyong to get some ensaymada before they departed for Angeles.

A group of college-age teens - and some adults - hopped out of the next bus. One of them is visibly, obviously Nonong, dressed in a white hoodie and lugging his bags around is if it was torture. His face brightened into a smile when he saw his two friends waiting and waved vigorously.

"Hoy, Manoy!" Rusca called out with a soft laugh.

Nonong stuck out his tongue - so that must've been where Goyong got the habit from - and patted their shoulders. "Tumahimik ka nga, Kuya Ed! Ang tagal ko kayong hindi nakikita in person ah! Kamusta na kayo? Kuya Greg, yung mga sugat mo?"

He pulled the boy in a bear hug and ruffled his hair. He never had any siblings in this life, but the entire team more than made up for it. "Ikaw talaga, binibiro lang." He wondered if he would have gotten well with the Nonong of the past too. Maybe.

"Gumagaling na ata," Goyong was saying as he rubbed his wound. He definitely did look better than he did on his first day back home. "Pero nahihirapan parin akong maglakad lakad at huminga pag minsan."

A big grin filled Rusca's face. "Wag kang mag-alala," he told Nonong in a dramatic whisper. "Malalagutan na talaga yan ng hininga pag sinagot na siya ni Jay."

Goyong crossed his arms at that. "Pag-untugin ko kaya kayong dalawa para manahimik kayo?"

Rusca and Nonong burst into uncontrollable laughter as they unanimously headed for the bakery. Yes, it was definitely a great way to start the day.

**Tuesday, 12-22-15, 10:15 AM, Tea-rad Pass**

He manned the bar that day as Goyong was off to have his wounds checked. He wasn't used to barista duties anymore since Goyong joined, and it felt like he was fumbling with the orders. Thankfully it was a slow day, though. He missed glancing at Nena during the course of the day, but there was nothing he could do. She was in Arayat - of all places - and he had no plans of returning to that place, not even in his new life.

He wondered if he should text her. They did exchange messages in the past few days but he was afraid that he was bugging her. He didn't want to creep her out. He wasn't even sure that he wanted her to know just how  _smitten_ he was. Joven told him that he was being ridiculous but there he was, a big, walking mess - all because of a lovely woman that totally had him whipped.

The sound of the wind chimes by the cafe entrance jolted him out of his thoughts. He looked up from his phone and nearly jumped off his skin when he noticed the new customers - Julian and Julio, the twins he toured last Saturday.  _Mabuti nalang at wala si Goyong, baka umabot pa sa trouble ng wala sa oras._

Julian approached him immediately with a grin. He looked up at the menu. He tapped his cheek thoughtfully as he considered the available drinks for the day. "Akala ko bang baker ka?"

"Nagpa-check up yung barista eh," Rusca told him with a shrug. "Naoperahan nung minsan."

Julian nodded. "Napadaan kasi kami, kaso yung pangalan..." He made a face. He shook his head. "Alam mo na siguro yun."

Julio drummed his fingers on the bar. "Baka naman kasi history buffs ang mga andito."

"Yes... and no." Joven peered from the counter he was manning that day, a small, bemused smile on his lips. "Joven Hernando V, proprietor."

The twins regarded him with different expressions - Julio with mild curiosity, Julian with surprise.

"Kamag-anak ka ba nung nagsulat nung mga history books?" Julio asked. "Binasa ko yung series tungkol kay Quezon, paborito ko yun."

Julian looked uncomfortable. "Yun ba yung reason bakit ganyan yung pangalan ng cafe niyo?"

Joven's grin seemed to border on predatory. Sometimes it was easy to forget the fact that he actually stayed with the del Pilar squad for a while during the war. "Parang ganoon na nga - pero yung ex ng kapatid ko yung nagpangalan diyan sa establishment. Alam mo, Mr. del Pilar, hindi namin inexpect na sobrang prophetic ng pangalan na to."

Everyone froze - luckily there were new customers that had to be attended to. The twins' eyes flickered between Rusca and Joven, as if wondering if the former actually babbled about their meeting. Julio was the first to speak, as if trying to diffuse the situation.

"Kung naaalala mo ang... uh... kapatid ko, siguradong naaalala mo din ako. Manila, 1952?"

Joven blinked and stared at him. "Mr. Nakpil?"

"Apparently del PIlar na ako ngayon," Julio said with a snicker. He shook his head and chuckled. "Nakow. Anong meron sa Angeles at naglilitawan ang mga katulad natin?"

Before Joven could speak, Rusca piped in to protect Goyong's existence. "Coincidence siguro." He lowered his voice and leaned across the bar. A wild idea suddenly blooming in his head. He just remembered that he still had the brothers' numbers in his phone. "Julian, tatawagan kita mamaya ha? May kailangan akong itanong."

Julian looked baffled. "Ten thousand pesos in three days, ask me how?"

"Pakshet ka," he shot back.

**Tuesday, 12-22-15, 3:30 PM, Tea-rad Pass**

Joven finally getting a car of his own was a godsend. Rusca could finally take his sweet time without causing a hassle for half the squad.

He found himself sitting in his car, the air conditioning at full-blast, phone in hand. He wondered if finding her grave would trigger Nena's memories - or at least showing a picture of it to her. None of his relatives knew where Nena Peralta-Rusca was buried, but he knew someone who might.

Julian answered the call immediately. "Ed? Napano?"

He didn't even have any time to gather his thoughts. "Julian. 1899. Madami akong tanong."

"Post-August ba to?" Julian asked carefully.

"Nandun ka sa kampo ni Heneral del Pilar nung pinatay ako. Alam ko din na mas pinagkatiwalaan ka ng kapatid mo sa ibang bagay kesa kay Vicente Enriquez," he continued. "Nagisa ko na si Vince..."

"Huy, kalma, tangina sandali kilala mo din si Vicente?" Julian cut in.

"At si Etong." Rusca let out a sigh. "Pero the thing is... wala siyang alam tungkol sa nangyari kay Nena pagkatapos ng giyera - alam lang niya na binisita siya ng kapatid mo pagkamatay ko. Baka ikaw... may alam."

Julian was quiet for a while, though his heavy breathing could be heard from the other line. "Sigurado ka bang gusto mong malaman?"

"Oo, pakiramdam ko yun lang yung paraan para maalala niya ako." There it was again, his inability to keep his thoughts to himself when they mattered. "Ganun din yung nangyari kay Jose eh."

"Jose... Bernal?" Julian's voice hitched - he was there during Manuel's torture, after all. "Andyan din? Teka anong nangyayari?"

He berated himself for the third slip. "Putangina hindi na muna importante yun. Kailangan kong malaman kung anong nangyari kay Nena."

"Hindi siya happy ending, Ed. Hinding hindi." Julian's voice sounded as broken as Goyong's did whenever he spoke of his past crimes. "Ed, patawarin moko. I did my best."

"Wag kang ganyan, huy. Ano bang nangyari? Spill mo yan at baka may sabihin din ako tungkol kay Jober at kay Vince." Rusca's heart was hammering. He loved Nena - and he still does. "Kailangan kong mangyari, parang awa mo na."

Julian's response was barely more than a whisper. "...parang awa mo na. Ilang beses sinabi sa amin yan." He paused, as if collecting his thoughts. "Lalabas ako mamayang mga alas kwatro. Magkita tayo sa harap ng simbahan. Medyo... mapapahaba yung usapan natin."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, pasensya na at nawala ako saglit, work and life happened.
> 
> Note lang po, Julian del Pilar was not in Tirad. Nasa Bulacan ata siya nun iirc from my source, may government position na ata at that time. Pero he was in Tirad in this story para di masira yung mga drafts huhu.


	13. Neon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rusca learns about the past.

_He wasn't sure how long he stood in front of the panaderia - one of the biggest buildings in the barangay - wondering why it wasn't open that day and why no one answered his knocks. After all, his family - well, what was left of it - lived above the establishment. The place didn't even have the familiar, comforting smell of bread._

_"Nasaan ang ama't kapatid mo?" asked Nena._

_"Hindi ko rin alam," he admitted._

_"E-Eduardo?" a stunned voice broke through the clouds gathering at the edges of his thoughts._

_He turned and saw one of his two surviving best friends - Matteo, the cabeza de barangay's son. He looked older, weary. "Hindi ko inaasahang babalik ka pa dito," he admitted. "Halos itakwil ka ng iyong ama nang malaman niyang nagtanan kayo."_

_"Nasaan si itay?" he asked quietly. "Nasaan si Emilio?"_

_"Wala na sila." Matteo's voice broke off at the last word._

_"Wala? Anong wala?" His blood ran cold at those words - dark skies, dark news - but he still kept up his cheery smile. "Anong ibig mong sabihin? Lumipat na ba sila ng bahay?"_

_"Patay ni sila, Eduardo." Matteo looked down, unable to meet his gaze. "Tatlong buwan na silang patay."_

* * *

_The revolution raged on in the south, and there he was, doing his best to restart the panaderia. Anger bubbled beneath his cheerful surface - anger fueled by Fernandino's death years ago, and now his father and brother. His immediate family was dead because they refused to provide lodging for a group of friars._

_Fernandino was dead because a Spanish hunter shot him on a whim._

_His father and brother were dead because they couldn't provide lodging for friars as they couldn't risk infecting aforementioned friars with Emilio's chickenpox._

_Injustice - that was what the Spanish oppressors stood for._

_He didn't thirst for vengeance at first. He was content with providing for his family while his Tiyo Juanito burned part of the surrounding woods to start a farm. Pio and Matteo already left to join this Katipunan but he refused to come with them, despite his uncle's urging. Many of his cousins have already left south to fight for_

_"May asawa't anak na ako," he argued._

_But his anger simmered for a little over a year. He did eventually decide to leave, a man of twenty-five, five months shy of his twenty-sixth birthday. He promised Nena that he would come home, and Tiyo Juanito vowed to care for his wife until then._

* * *

**Tuesday, 12-22-15, 4:15 PM, Holy Rosary Parish**

He parked yet again in the church patio, his bright red car wedged between a pair of vividly-painted yellow school services waiting for their wards. The convent-turned-parochial school was abuzz with activity as children ran out of the campus. He found himself smiling faintly, remembering another time, another life.

Would things have been different if he had seen his son grow up?

He dispelled the thoughts in his head and focused on what he was there for. He stepped out of his car and leaned against the door, waiting for his friend's brother to arrive. His fingers shook as he finally came so close to the answers he was looking for - Nena's fate in the past, and a possible way to make her present incarnation remember.

Julian arrived five minutes later, a cap on his head, his thick hair and sideburns making him stand out. He approached Rusca, looking every bit as anxious as the other man felt.

"Ed," he began, looking tired - too tired. "Talagang desidido ka ata."

He nodded. "Kailangan kong malaman anong nangyari kay Nena pagkatapos nung..."

"Nung hindi makatarungan na pagbitay sayo?" Julian's gaze was distant, as if he was remembering those gritty days. "May alam nga ako."

"So, ano ngang alam mo?" asked Rusca.

The two of them ended up lurking in the church, which was virtually empty at that hour. Julian flinched as he gazed at the interior of the building. "Tangina, dito nila siya..." he shook his head sadly. "Ed, patawarin mo ako."

 _Hingi ng hingi ng tawad. Magkapatid nga kayo._ He raised an eyebrow, trying to imitate Goyong himself. He was sure that it wouldn't work, though. "Bakit ba parang may kasalanan sakin lahat ng mga taong nakakabangga ko sa Angeles?" he joked.

Julian's lip twitched into the ghost of a smile. "Ano kasi, Ed, kilala mo sigurado si Gregorio, ano?"

 _Brad, nakatira kami sa iisang bubong. Daig pa ng sitcom ang inaabot namin ng kapatid mong pretty boy._ "Naaalala ko siya," he said cautiously. "Isa siyang gagong fuckboy with a heart of gold."

"Kung makapagsalita ka, akala mo naging kayo," Julian said with a small chuckle. "Parang naramdaman kasi niya yung mangyayari sa Tirad, nag-iwan ng habilin sakin."

"Bakit may kinalaman ito kay Nena?" Rusca asked, trying not to sound nervous and terrified. A whirlwind of emotions erupted in him though - curiosity, renewed grief, terror, and - for some reason - relief.

Julian made a face. "Hindi niya kinalimutan ang mga kasalanan niya. May pakiramdam ako na ginusto niya yung nangyari sa Tirad." He rubbed his forehead with a sigh. "Kaya ata di siya bumalik kagaya namin."

Rusca fought off a grimace.  _Hindi siya bumalik kasi hindi naman siya namatay._ "Di ko parin maintindihan kung anong kinalaman nito kay Nena."

"May dalawa siyang habilin na hindi personal - hanapin ang mga libingan niyo ng mga Bernal, at siguraduhing ligtas si Nena." Julian's eyes darkened. "Di na ako bumalik sa militar pagkatapos ng Tirad - hindi ko na kaya. Binalikan ko siya dito sa Angeles - sila lang ng mga anak mo yung nabuhay sa buong baranggay niyo nung tumakas sila ng Arayat."

"Mga anak? Si Rafael lang..." Rusca began, startled.

"Nagdadalang tao siya nung umalis ka ng bayan niyo." Julian looked away. "Nahanap ko si Nena dito, nakikitira sa mga katulad niyang tumakas ng Arayat. Tinulungan ko siyang lumikas papunta sa Zambales - may tiyo daw siya doon."

Iba wasn't that far from Pinatubo - the Mountain of the Seven Rivers, according to his past incarnation's grandmother, the mountain where the giant god of the moon slept, mourning for his daughter. The sun and the moon rose in Arayat and set in Zambales.

Rusca remembered Nena telling him about her mestizo uncle from Iba, Zambales. The man sounded like an unpleasant fellow, though. "Ayun naman pala eh. Bakit humihingi ka pa ng tawad sakin?"

Julian made a face. "Nagkaroon din ako ng asawa at pamilya, pero di ako natahimik kasi di ko pa nakumpleto yung mga habilin ni Goyong."

"Pre, alam mo, kahit di mo na kinumpleto yun ayos lang sakanya sigurado ako," he pointed out. Well, Goyong could've taken care if it himself - though the idiot was actually clueless when it came to Jose's grave. "Siya din naman hindi naman natupad ang lahat ng mga pangako niya, diba?"

Julian touched his throat sadly. "Nakita kong mamatay ang sariling kapatid ko - hindi ko kayang hindi gawin yung last request niya. Iniwan ko yung asawa ko - si Cristina - para hanapin ang mga bangkay niyo. Una kong nahanap yung sayo sa may Manaoag."

Rusca felt his skin tingle. Manaoag. He knew he died somewhere in Pangasinan, but he never knew exactly where. Well, he guessed he did now. "Andun parin ba ako?"

Julian laughed bitterly. "Naghanap ako ng tutulong sakin na ilipat yung libingan mo sa Iba."

He nodded thoughtfully. "Dahil nandun si Nena, ano?"

"Mismo." Julian drummed his fingers on the wooden surface of the church pew, its soft sound echoing throughout the empty place. The sound of children's laughter wafted through the door. "Nakausap ko siya noon at nagmakaawang itakas ko siya ng Iba - hindi ko alam bakit pero... nangako akong maghahanap ako ng paraan na hindi kami hahabulin ng tiyo niya. Wala din akong nagawa kasi namatay siya tatlong araw pagdating ko ng Iba."

His blood ran cold at those words.

The sun and the moon rose in Arayat and set in Zambales, indeed.

"Namatay? Bakit?" His hands were shaking and he couldn't do anything to stop them.

Julian was quiet for a while, contemplative. "Ed, hindi ko din naintindihan masyado - ayaw magsalita ng mga tao sa lupain ng tiyo niya at ayaw din magsalita ng mga anak mo. Basta ang alam ko ay pinatay siya ng tiyo niya - at gumanti ang panganay mo. Walang anak si Artemio Peralta at ang mga anak mo ang pinakamalapit niyang tagapagmana. Wala na din akong nagawa kung hindi siguraduhin na magkatabi ang libingan niyo."

So that explained his present descendants' wealth, then.  _Oo na nga, ako ang sarili kong lolo sa talampakan._  The tale left an odd ache in his heart, though. He was the present Eduardo Rusca, but there he was, mourning for the past's lover.

He remembered his grandmother from an era long gone, yet again, telling him the tale of the sun and the moon, and the lady of the sunset who was killed by her uncle, the sun, when she stood up in defense of her father, the moon.

Why did he have a feeling that Nena's fate was something similar to that?

He didn't even notice that he was weeping silently. He rarely cried past childhood. He didn't even cry when his father died, or when he decided to leave behind his family home in Bacolor. He prefered to smile and laugh through everything but this  _hurt._ Julian watched him helplessly, as if he didn't know what to do either.

Then again, it was better that he knew.

**Wednesday, 12-23-15, 8:30 AM, Angeles City Proper**

The Christmas rush meant that the traffic in the  _Cabalenan,_ the heart of the city, was beyond  _terrible._ He wasn't even sure if having Jay as a passenger would be any consolation.

"Kuya Ed, kahapon ka pa tahimik," she noted. "May pinag-awayan ba kayo ni Ate Nena?"

He shook his head, though he knew deep in his heart that he would never be at peace again until he visits the graves in Zambales. "Hindi man yun eh," he murmured. "Narinig mo sigurong may kamag-anak si Goyong na dumating sa cafe kahapon."

Jay nodded, though she kept her eyes on the knife she was examining. "Si Kuya Julian nga ba? Bakit ayaw niyong malaman ni Goyong? Naaalala ko naman na mabait si Kuya Julian noon eh."

Rusca shrugged. "Di ko rin alam pero parang... alam mo yung pakiramdam na hindi pa tamang panahon?"

"Masyado ka nang invested sa pagsubaybay sa Kalyeserye ha," she said with a smirk. 

He rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Pakshet ka."

She laughed and shook her head. "Pakshet ka din. Pero ano ngang meron?"

He told her about what he learned - and his feeling that he won't be at peace again unless he went to Iba. Despite fidgeting with something or another, Jay was actually a good listener. Maybe that was the reason he had a crush on her before, violent tendencies aside.

"Hindi ko din alam pero may pakiramdam ako na yun din yung way para maalala niya ako - kami," he finished.

They parked outside the cafe and he killed the engine. Neither of them seemed to want to step out of the car, though.

"Kuya Ed," she began slowly. "Alam mo, naniniwala akong nareincarnate tayo for a reason - para magkaroon na tayo ng happy ending, kahit na medyo overdue na."

He contemplated that. Doomed lovers, that what was Goyong and Poleng were, what he and Nena were - heck, even Paco and Juliana, and Luna and Isabel were doomed. And as he saw, it seemed like Jay was right. Hopefully even him, the unlucky one whose story played out as tragedy of coincidences. Then again, didn't Goyong's story play out that way?

"Jay?" he finally said, fumbling for something, anything to take him off the hot seat. "Ano nga bang nangyari sa inyo ni Goyong noon?"

Jay paused, looking a little confused and sad. "Wala akong maalala beyond ng paghihiwalay namin noon." She grinned and shook her head as she slid her knife into a hidden spot in her belt. "Hayaan mo na yun. Past is past. Siguro ayos na din na hindi ko maalala kasi baka sobrang traumatic."

His heart went out to her - he was sure that she wanted to know the truth, deep down. "Traumatic in the sense na naghiwalay kayo ng boyfriend mo, o traumatic na tipong na-Red Wedding ka?"

She smiled at that reference. "Pareho." She pinched his cheek painfully. "Tangina, hayaan mo na yun. Oks na ako sa ganito." She opened the car door. "Wag kang mag-alala ha? Your secret is safe with me."

He smiled back. "Salamat."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kakaumpisa palang ng story pero parang... nangangalahati na? :( Odk po. Anyare. Anyway, yes, sa Zambales po ang field trip ni Rusca and siyemps hindi kwento to ng Team HDP kung walang supernatural shizz. May sequel din na nakaplano to with Joven. Through the Looking Glass ang tentative title.


	14. Dragonfly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rusca schedules a fieldtrip.

_He made his way south through the woods, knowing that he always did well in such a place. Besides, it's easier to conceal himself from patrolling Spanish soldiers that way. He had nothing but his father's bolo, a slingshot, and a glass bottle filled with water. He hunted for food with his slingshot, slowly improving his skill as he skirted around villages on foot. He noted that it would be much faster on horseback - they arrived in Arayat quickly thanks to that - but he wouldn't exactly be inconspicuous._

_He wasn't sure how long he traveled south but he was aware that he was somewhere in Bulacan. His stomach growled as he sat by a small stream, wondering if he could catch any fish in there._

_"Anong ginagawa mo diyan?" a quiet, steady voice with an unusual cadence cut through his thoughts._

_He looked up to see a young man dressed in the uniform of a Spanish cavalryman, mounted upon a huge gray horse. Despite the sword hanging from his belt and the rifle slung across his back, he didn't seem hostile at all - merely curious._

_"Hinahanap mo ba ang mga kasapi sa himagsikan?" he asked._

_Rusca nodded slowly, awkwardly, hand flying to the bolo tied to his belt - though he knew he would be no match against the soldier. "Napapanahon na," he said quietly, feeling as if everything about him has gone still, his mind suddenly clear and calm._

_The young soldier nodded - he couldn't have been more than a couple of years older - and smiled. "Parating ang mga kasama kong kawal dito. Kailangan mong tumakbo maya maya." He dismounted his horse and pointed to a side path. "Dumaan ka diyan at paglabas mo ng gubat ay nasa kampo ka na nila."_

_Rusca stared at him, wondering if it was a trap. "At bakit mo ako gagabayan kung kasapi ka ng mga Kastila?"_

_The soldier smiled. "Pwede kang mamili kung gusto mong maabutan ka ng mga kawal dito, o sundan ang payo ko."_

_He was trapped between a rock and a hard place - and he decided to follow the soldier's directions instead._

* * *

_He never got to see action against Spain, unfortunately. The rebels in the camp shot him on sight - not fatally - but enough to incapacitate him._ _The officer in charge of the camp - an older man named Manuel Bernal - approached him on his sickbed and apologized profusely for the misunderstanding._

_With the limited medicinal knowledge of that era, it took him much longer to recover from the gunshout injuries he suffered from. The man named Manuel - and his younger brother Jose - visited him from time to time to give him news: Spain surrendering, the declaration of independence in Cavite, the brewing tension as their American "allies" still steadily trickled into the ports._

_Manuel asked him if he wanted to go home when he was finally well enough to stand, but he steadfastly refused. He cannot go home and bring shame his family since he was the boy who dallied long enough to have lost the chance to avenge his father and brother's murders._

_He decided to enlist in the army instead._

* * *

**Wednesday, 12-23-15, 12:00 PM, Tea-rad Pass**

He received a call from Nena during his lunch break, jolting him out of his sadness. He excused himself and stood outside the cafe, ignoring the cold breeze that sent shudders down his spine.

"Hello?" His voice was shaking - it definitely was. "Miss Peralta?"

Nena laughed at his greeting. "Uy. Ayos ka lang ba? Kahapon ka pa hindi sumasagot sa mga text ko."

He gulped. He didn't really mean to  _not_ answer her messages, but he was so wrapped up in his thoughts so he ended up neglecting them. "Pasensya na, may mga nangyari lang kahapon at medyo... ano eh, nakakabigla."

_Nakakabigla talaga. Nalaman ko na kung anong nangyari sayo noon._

She paused, as if collecting her thoughts. "Nakakabigla in what way?"

He wasn't even sure how to explain it to her. "Kailangan kong pumunta sa Zambales."

"Pupunta ako dun sa Lunes, gusto mong sumabay?" she asked.

He felt that chill down his spine again - as if someone was walking over his grave. He realized that something big would be happening once he sets foot in Zambales. Events in their lives stopped being mere coincidence ever since a certain boy general. Even the smallest occurrences ended up serving a major purpose for them.

_Ano nga ba ang dapat kong asahan sa Iba?_

"Sige, game ako diyan," he finally said. "Sinong kasama?"

"Actually ako lang," she admitted. "May bibisitahin lang ako dun tapos uuwi din kinabukasan."

"Ah. Sige. Saan ba? Sabay ako papuntang Iba," he explained.

She chuckled. "Dun din punta ko. Nakakatuwa naman to."

 _"Wapin." Oo nga._ "Pero ano... hindi ka ba kinakabahan na ano... lalake ako eh. Hindi naman sa may gagawin ako sayo ha. I mean, natutuwa nga ako at medyo patay na patay sayo pero..." he trailed off as he realized what he just said.

"Patay na patay? Ed? Ok ka lang? Parang kulang ka sa tulog," she noted with a chuckle. "Pero tuloy tayo sa Iba ha? First time ko lang din pumunta dun eh."

 _First time in this lifetime siguro._ Another wave of sadness struck him as he remembered Julian's recollection from the previous day.

"Go lang ako. Sige." He was still flustered over what said and wanted to sink into the ground in embarrassment. "Tae, nakakahiya na yung pinagsasasabi ko."

She was quiet for a while. "Ayos lang. Wag kang mag-alala." There was a sad note in her voice, for some reason. "Sige ha? Kain ka na, baka nakakaabala pa ako."

_"Ali naka man maging abala kanaku." Hindi ka naman magiging abala sa akin._

He was still smiling ridiculously when he slipped back into the cafe.

**Wednesday, 12-23-15, 1:45 PM, Tea-rad Pass**

"Caramel cookie frappe, half sugar - malambing na tao, pero may tendency na maging in denial to pagdating sa mga bagay na nararamdaman nila."

It was still a slow day, and the staff's only for of amusement was Goyong trying to describe a customer's personality by their favorite drinks.

Rusca listened to him intently though, wondering just how right he was in regards to his analysis. "Sige nga," he began. "Ensaymada tiramisu milk tea."

"Unique. Sobrang kakaiba eh - uy pero in fairness masarap naman." Goyong leaned against the wall, right beside the painting depicting him and another young general leading a parade at the city's most prominent street. "Hawak mo yung buhay mo. Ginagawa mo yung isang bagay kasi  _gusto_ mo, hindi dahil may nagpagawa sayo nito."

That was him - the wind. He could never be contained. He was where he was because he wanted to be there.

"Supernatural barista skills ba yan?" Joven joked, looking up from the notebook he was writing on. "Sige nga, subukan mo... mudslide raspberry shake, regular sugar?"

"Dios mio patatas namang sweet tooth yan na may konting asim!" Goyong's grin widened. "Sweet, mabait, more than meets the eye. Handang maging palaban pag kailangan."

On and on it went, Joven and Rusca bombarding the barista with random orders and having him analyze them. At least it helped them while away the time.

The cafe doors opened and Vicente - Vince - Enriquez stepped in, laptop in tow. He waved at them and dashed past the tables, taking an empty seat on the bar itself. "Yo," he began. He looked up at the menu board contemplatively. "Suggestions?"

"Akala ko ba lilipat na kayo sa bahay mamaya? Kanina pa kayo hinihintay ni Paco," Joven said, carefully closing his notebook.

"Oo, andun na si Kuya Etong, kaso napagtripan kong bumisita muna dito," explained Vince. "Uy, dali, suggestions?"

Goyong cleared his throat. "Caramel cookie frappe, double sugar, extra whipped cream."

"Mismo." Vince handed his payment and settled down on his seat.

"Diabetes. Alam mo ba kung ano yun?" The barista grumbled as he set to work.

"Bayaan mo yan, may period lang ata," Joven joked, still sounding as calm as always. "Pero magaling nga atang magrecommend ng kape."

Rusca snickered as he handed Vince's change. "Dapat may bayad na din yung paghingi ng personality analysis sakanya."

"...ha?" Vince asked, looking more and more baffled by the second.

He wrapped an arm around a squirming Goyong's shoulder with a grin. "Alam mo kasi, may bagong talent itong bebelabs ko. Inaanalyze niya yung personality ng mga customer based sa drink of preference nila. Mukhang accurate naman... so far. Pero nagpupustahan kami ni Joven kung kelan siya magkakamali."

"Mga butas kasi kayo ng pwet," Goyong complained as he set down Vince's drink on the bar with a groan.

Joven snickered. "Wag kang mag-alala. Ganyan lang talaga kaming magmahal."

**Wednesday, 12-23-15, 6:30 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

The house was now definitely crowded, as the Enriquez brothers and Paco Roman have moved in. As Nonong is in the largest room, Paco would be sharing it with him and Goyong, while the brothers would be taking the long-vacant room downstairs by the kitchen.

Rusca found himself still in charge of dinner that night, which has become more challenging now that he would have to cook food that a grand total of ten people would be agreeing to. It seems like Paco still isn't a picky eater, though, so that was a good sign. Manuel is aggressively applying wax to the wooden floor panels behind Rusca as loud thumps and crashes upstairs let them know that Paco was settling down in his new space quite nicely.

He was supposed to be nervous and excited at the same time for the trip to Iba - it felt like so much was riding on his visit to the graves that Julian mentioned. There was only calm acceptance in his heart at that moment though. He resolved to face any potential events that unfolded  _as they happened_ instead of fretting over them even if there was no clear endgame in sight yet.

"Ang lalim ata ng iniisip mo," Joven noted as he grabbed a pitcher of ice cold water from the fridge. "May problema ba?"

Rusca grinned. "Nakausap ko si Julian del Pilar kahapon," he began, keeping his voice low so that Manuel - who was still busy scrubbing the floor nearby - wouldn't hear. "Sa Iba - sa Zambales - nailibing si Nena noon. Pupunta ako dun for closure..."

"Hulaan ko. Papunta din sa Zambales ang ensaymada girl mo at sabay kayong pupunta," Joven said, staring at him with a ridiculous grin.

"Uy, galing mo ah! Buti alam mo?" He tried to keep his voice as lighthearted as he could as he stirred the soup twice.

Joven's eyes were sharp and knowing all of a sudden. "Naalala lahat ni Jose nung napunta siya sa libingan niya - what's to say na hindi ganoon ang kay Nena? At nagkaroon ng paraan para makapunta dun si Jose kahit na off limits yung lugar... so siguradong magkakaroon din ng paraan para kay Nena." He chuckled as he leaned against the kitchen bar. "Ano, wala naman siguro kayong gagawing kababalaghan dun no?"

His grin turned wider and more ridiculous. "Imposible hindi ako ganun."

"Pero patay na patay ka na sakanya ano?" Joven pressed.

"Mamamatay din ako para sakanya kung kailangan," he confirmed.  _Cheesy man pakinggan._

Joven nodded peacefully. "Sinasabi na nga ba't tinamaan ka na din. Ed, tiwala naman ako sayo. Ikaw pa? Pero... ingat ka ha? Walang bagay na madali pag member ka ng Team Hijo de Puta, jusmio. Baka may nagaabang na aswang o tikbalang sayo pagdating mo dun."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yung mga mythological shizz na sinasabi ni Rusca about Arayat and Pinatubo last chapter? Taken straight from local myths and legends. Yes.


	15. Nerbyoso

_He joined the Academia Militar at Malolos - a school established by Antonio Luna himself._

_There he was, a skinny man from Arayat who barely looked like he was twenty though he was at least six years older than that, dressed in patched and ragged clothes too large for him while most of the other pupils in the academy were actually veterans of the revolution - both from the side of the rebels and of Spain itself. They jeered and whispered about him behind his back, placing bets on whether he would quit or actually get killed during the training._

_All of that happened on his first day of training._

_He found himself sitting in a corner of the field during a brief respite for lunch. He didn't have any money, so all he had to eat was a small piece of bread. He resolved not to ask for help - it would just cause them to ridicule him even more._

_A shadow fell over him."Hindi ka ba magugutom kung ganyan lang ang kakainin mo?"_

_He looked up to see the young man from the Spanish army - the one who directed him to Manuel Bernal's camp - smiling at him. "Ah, nandito ka rin pala."_

_The soldier smiled and sat beside him. "Nabalitaan ko ang nangyari sayo noong dumating ka sa kampo ni Ginoong Bernal. Pasensya na, sana pala'y sinamahan kita."_

_"Sinamahan? Mas lalo nila akong babarilin kung ganoon!" Rusca told him with a small laugh._

_"Ah, kilala kasi nila ako. Alam mo, hindi naman talaga ako kaanib ng mga Kastila," the soldier explained. "Nandoon lamang ako para hindi pagdudahan na tinutulungan ko ang Katipunan... ah, ako nga pala si Francisco Roman, pero maaari mo akong tawaging Paco."_

_"Nagagalak akong makilala ka. Ako si Eduardo Rusca."_

* * *

_Despite being the son of a rich Spanish man and the owner of a tobacco factory in Manila, Paco proved to be a kind and humble man with surprisingly excellent military skills._

_Rusca became fast friends with him, despite their different backgrounds. He actually liked the slightly older, soft spoken man. They urged each other to do their best, and Paco even started to share his food - and rented lodging - with Rusca._

_One of the older and kinder trainees advised him to eat more and gain weight so that he would at least have a better build as a soldier. He did try and try, loading himself with bread - preferrably ensaymada - whenever their weekly wages arrived. It reminded him of home and much simpler times. Eating a lot has started to become a habit and yet he was still fairly thin._

_At least displaying his skill with the gun meant that no one was laughing at him anymore._

_He sent letters to Nena, too. He missed her and Rafael. She didn't seem angry by the fact that he was now training to join the army. He missed his home, his old life, much simpler times. But he knew that joining the army may also mean that he could climb ranks and provide a better life for his wife and son._

_If he didn't get killed, that is._

* * *

**Thursday, 12-24-15, 6:00 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

"Dinner at overnight sa bahay ni Heneral?"

He looked up from the text message he received from Joven, eyebrow raised. Luna himself was inviting the entire household - and Andres Bonifacio - to join them for Christmas.

Joven nodded with a smile. "Mukhang bumabawi siya sa atin ah."

That was true. Rusca stared at the small pile of gifts he stashed in the corner of the room. "Paano natin isasakay lahat to sa sasakyan?" he blurted out.

"Sa dami ng pwedeng problemahin yan pa talaga yung uunahin ano?" Joven's laughter didn't quite reach his eyes. He leaned against the couch, eyes closed.

"May problema ba?" Rusca asked, worried about his best and oldest friend. "Tungkol ba to dun sa mga papel na tinago ni Goyong? Nasa may Pangasinan yung mga yun, diba?"

Joven nodded worriedly. "Parang ganun na nga. Kaya nagyayaya akong pumunta dun eh. Ed, kayo lang ni Goyong yung may alam dito - siya din naman yung nagsabi saan niya tinago." He shook his head. "Di lang naman yun yung iniisip ko - iniisip ko din kung nareincarnate ba si Angela."

"Angela?" That picqued Rusca's interest. "Sino yun? Asawa mo dati?"

Joven shook his head. "Hindi ako nagkaroon ng asawa noon. Anak lang."

"Dalisay pala ha. Dalisay." Rusca leaned forward with a small laugh. "Malay mo andyan lang siya, diba? Kung si Nena nga bigla ko nalang nakita, si Angela mo pa kaya?"

Joven seemed assured by that. "Sana nga tama ka," he murmured quietly. "Ayokong..."

"Naiintindihan ko yan, bro. Tiwala lang." He was there to reassure people and he hoped he was doing it right.

He eventually found himself standing on the terrace overlooking the garden. The late year breeze brushed against his face, feeling like the comforting touch of a long-lost friend.  _Hindi nga uso sa amin ang coincidence. Ano kayang makikita ko sa Iba?_

He thought of Goyong and Jay, Goyong and Poleng, and the circumstances that separated and reunited them. How different would it be for him and Nena? Would they be subjected to so much agony and misfortune and tragedy yet again? That was what defined his life - a long string of bad luck and wrong kinds of coincidences that derailed everything that he was supposed to be doing.

"Ang aga mo namang nagsesenti diyan." Paco stepped through the screen door with a smile. "May problema ba?"

"Napapaisip lang." He stared at the clear blue sky and wondered how Nena would look if she wore a dress of that color. "Paco, anong naramdaman mo nung naalala mo lahat?"

Paco shrugged and leaned against the cement railing. "Nagulat lang ako - tapos parang ayun, it made sense naman. Bakit?"

He looked away. "Wala lang. Pero naging kayo ulit ni Juliana kahit hindi mo pa naaalala ano?"

"Parang ganun na nga. Diba nga sabi niyo noon na wala naman ata talagang coincidence sa mga nangyayari sa buhay natin?" Paco laughed. "Ed, may problema ba?"

He remembered Paco clearly. Though some of his memories were blurry - heck, some of his memories from just a few years ago were a little hazy already - he still recalled his friendship with Paco. They were as thick as thieves, even when his friend shot up through the ranks. The former colonel was quite similar to Joven - maybe that's why Rusca latched on to the latter in his new life.

"Alam ko na ang kinahinatnan ni Nena pagkatapos nung pagkamatay ko noon," he finally said. "Pakiramdam ko may mangyayari pag nahanap ko na yung puntod niya sa Zambales."

"Ah." Paco tapped his finger on the edge of the railing, a contemplative look on his face. "I think we all need to face our past naman eh. Hahanapin at hahanapin natin yung closure. Ako mismo madami pang tanong."

Rusca wondered why he looked forward and yet dreaded the trip to Zambales.  _Wag mo namang sasabihing may haharapin din akong anino dun. Oks na yung kapre. Okaya tikbalang. Para cool._ "Mahahanap ko ang closure sa Iba - sigurado ako dun. Ang iniintindi ko lang eh kung may haharapin din akong supernatural dun."

Paco nodded sagely. "Technically supernatural din naman tayo. Di nga lang kagaya ni Goyong at ni Ka Andres. Siguraduhin mo nalang na manghihiram ka nung mga special na armas nila."

**Thursday, 12-24-15, 4:30 PM, Holy Angel Village**

Luna greeted them jovially - like  _family._ Then again, Luna and Team Hijo de Puta have always been more family to him than most of his actual living relatives.

"Akala ko may magdadala na ng babae sainyo," Luna told them with a laugh.

Isabel pulled them all into hugs before she headed back to the kitchen to cook their dinner. She absolutely refused to let Rusca and Jay assist, as she wanted everything to be a "surprise."

The team ended up sitting with Luna and his children in the living room. Pepe, a sixth grader running for class valedictorian, was busy entertaning Jay with his adventures in school, while fourth grader EJ sat beside his dad, intent on his book.

"Nakakagulat nga na pati si Andres nandito sa Angeles ngayon," Luna was saying contemplatively. "Sa tingin niyo ba may mga katulad din tayo dito? Mga reincarnated at mga imortal?"

"Um, hindi na po ako imortal," Goyong piped up, looking out from his notes regarding his analysis on drink preferences.

"Tangina Greggyboy, gumagawa ka ba ng thesis diyan?" Jose complained. "Daig mo pa kami nung college ah."

Rusca stuck out his tounge and snickered before turning back to Luna. "Kung ganun man po, sana naman yung mga katulad nalang natin. Ayaw ko nang makakita ng mga nakakatakot na supernatural. Pero cool siguro makakita ng multo." He could still recall that one time encounter with Andres' doppleganger. He nearly had his throat crushed, and it wasn't a pretty experience.

Little EJ looked up from his book. "Pero hindi naman po totoo ang mga multo," he said.

"Ang cute mo talaga," he retorted. Well, it was true. The kid was definitely adorable.

EJ stuck out his tongue. "Hindi po ako cute. Astig ako." He turned back to his book and blocked them out yet again.

That left him wondering what it would have been like if he lived long enough to raise Rafael, with Nena by his side. Then again, there was no use dwelling in the past. He would run around looking for information until he found closure, and then leave it at that. He was happy with his current life - less bad luck, less tragedy. And to be honest, he'd rather write the future than read the past.

Vince cleared his throat. "Sa tingin niyo ba andito tayo para ayusin yung mga naging pagkakamali natin noon? O para sa happy ever after?"

"Pwedeng pareho," Luna agreed. "Mas maganda na ang lagay nating lahat ngayon at parang natuto naman tayo sa mga pagkukulang natin noon, diba?" His eyes flickered to Goyong at those last words. "Iba nga lang yung paraan ng pagbalik natin pero parang ganun din ang tungo."

"Sana nga," Rusca found himself blurting out. He broke into a smile when he noticed everyone staring at him. "Wala, masaya lang ako na madami na tayong oras sa harutan at wala nang stress sa giyera."

_At sana wala na talagang malaking kamalasan sa buhay ko._

**Friday, 12-25-15, 12:00 AM, Holy Angel Village**

She called in the middle of their gift opening session.

"Merry Christmas!" she chirped the moment he answered the call.

"Merry Christmas din," he murmured back. "Kamusta?"

"Eto, pahirapan ang signal pero ayos lang naman!" She definitely sounded happier than she did on her previous call. "Ikaw, kamusta?"

He wondered if she could sense it in the air - the feeling that something major was about to happen. "Ayos naman ako, nandito kami sa bahay ng Tito Tonyo ko." Well, that was how Luna wanted to be referred, and they respected it. "Hindi ka naman siguro nila ginugutom diyan sa Arayat ano?"

That made laugh. She laughed a lot - not at him, but because of him. At least his awkwardness made her happy. "Bakit naman nila ako magugutom? Ikaw, namiss mo ba ako?"

Her words threw him off guard. He paused, stunned, mouth hanging open for a while. "N-Namiss?" he finally said out. "Tinatanong pa ba yan? Siyempre iba parin yung nakikita kita in person."

She laughed yet again. "Ang cute mo talaga, nakakainis ka. Namimiss din kita."

He hoped he didn't sound like an idiot. "Hindi ako cute. Astig ako," he told her before echoing her laughter. "Joke lang. Hindi rin ako astig."

"Astig at cute ka naman. Busit ka." She didn't sound annoyed. That was a good sign. "So ano namang pinagkakaabalahan mo?"

"Inalam ko ang ibig sabihin ng favorite drink mo - iced almond chocolate frappe." He felt himself blushing as he remembered how awkwardly he asked Goyong to analyze the drink for him. His friend's stare did not help one bit either.

"Ano to, personality test na din ba ang drink of choice?" Nope, she still wasn't annoyed. As a matter of fact, she sounded genuinely interested by the topic. "Wag mong sasabihing may gumagawa ng ganyang thesis."

"Pag nagkita tayo sabihin ko yung findings." At least he would give her something else to look forward to.

"Wag mong kakalimutan." She paused before continuing. "Sige ha? Mamayang umaga naman. Goodnight!"

"Goodnight." He stopped and waited until the call ended. "Mahal na ata kita."


	16. Tala

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rusca tries to chase after a falling star.

_An older trainee - the one who actually advised him to eat more - took interest in him and taught him the art of Eskrima. He claimed that he would have no aptitude with it, as he has a thin build and is not as strong as other soldiers such as Paco, but the former revolutionary fighter simply laughed at him and shook his head._

_"Makinig at sumunod ka bago mo husgahan ang sarili mo, hijo," he said._

_The man was right, though. Skinny though Eduardo Rusca may be, speed was on his side and years of working in the panaderia actually helped him display more strength than he expected. He would never be the best, but being good at it meant that he earned the respect of the other soldiers in training._

_He threw himself into every valuable subject he could learn from - military strategy, basic first aid, shooting guns, camouflage - and worked hard to make sure that he did not disappoint their instructors. He could still feel the other trainees watching him, but he ignored them and focused on his job. The wind blowed in every way it wanted to, but if focused on one area... it could grow into a savage tempest. He may not have noticed it, but they were watching him for different reasons already._

* * *

_The new year had barely arrived when Luna - the Heneral Luna - summoned him and Paco to his office._ _He felt himself shaking, not from fear, but for a sudden sense of anticipation that fills him. He even managed to face the General and look him in the eye._

_Luna reciprocated his stare with a haunted look. "Ginoong Rusca, Ginoong Roman," he began. "Marami akong mga bagay na narinig tungkol sa inyong dalawa."_

_Paco laughed. "Sana naman po ay hindi gaanong masama ang mga iyan."_

_Luna threw back his head and laughed . "Nabalitaan ko na kasama kayo sa mga pinakamagaling na nagsasanay dito," he told them jovially. "Ginoong Roman, may karanasan ka na sa digmaan hindi ba?"_

_"Mayroon nga po, pero hindi gaano." Paco shrugged. "Nandoon lamang po ako para hindi nila mapaghalataan na nagbibigay ako ng pera para sa rebolusyon."_

_Luna nodded and turned to Rusca. "Ikaw Ginoong Rusca, hindi kita gaanong kilala, maliban sa mga kwento ng inyong mga guro - at ni Koronel Bernal."_

_Rusca felt his old scars tingling at those words. "Anak lamang po ako ng isang panadero sa Arayat. Wala po akong karanasan sa digmaan - at di rin po ako sigurado kung bakit nasabi nilang isa ako sa mga pinakamagaling," he added with a nervous laugh. He scratched the back of his head. "Ni wala po akong kahit anong pagsasanay bago ako nakarating dito. Kung ang pinakamagaling po ang hanap niyo, si Paco po iyon. Hindi ako."_

_Paco shook his head. "Huwag po kayong maniniwala diyan, tila mas marunong pa po siyang humawak ng baril kaysa sa mga ibang dati nang may karanasan sa digmaan."_

_"At tila tunay nga din kayong magkaibigan." Luna's gaze was curious and calculating at the same time. "Nararamdaman kong may nagbabadyang sigwa, mga ginoo, at kailangan ko ng mga magagaling na mga kawal kapag nanalasa na ito sa Inang Bayan. Kailangan ko ang mga katulad niyo."_

_"Kaya po kami nandito, Heneral - para sa Inang Bayan." Paco's face remained miraculously neutral, despite the general's intimidating gaze. "Sabihin niyo lamang po kung ano ang maitutulong namin."  
_

_Rusca nodded resolutely. "Hindi ko rin po alam kung ano ang kaya kong gawin na hindi kaya ng iba, ngunit nandito rin po ako para sa inyo, Heneral."_

* * *

**Saturday, 12-26-15, 9:00 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

He was busy tinkering with his phone on the empty dining table when Joven sat across the table from him. The latter had a dark look in his eyes, as if something was bothering him heavily. He set down a steaming mug of coffee in front of Rusca. "Ed," he began, his voice quivering.

Rusca raised an eyebrow at him. "May problema ba?"

"Sinubukan kasi naming linisin ng konti yung basement kanina habang nasa mall kayo nina Nonong at Jose," Joven explained. "Naaalala mo yung nahalughog naming painting? Yung nasa cafe?"

Well, who wouldn't remember that? The actual hundred and forty year old subject was actually the barista who stood right beside that painting every day.

"Ano, may nahalughog ka nanaman bang bagong painting?" he finally asked.

He remembered that Joven's brother from his past life was a painter. There were still multiple dusty old paintings in the basement, according to the Joven and Nonong, though they haven't really found the inclination to properly fish around and retrieve all of them.

Joven shook his head, looking even more distressed when he sets down an old, crinkly-looking journal that seems to have been hastily dusted. "Hindi ko alam kanino to. Nakita ko lang nakatambak dun." He shuddered as he flipped it open and skimmed the pages. He slid the notebook toward him. "Tignan mo."

He was shown a rough sketch labelled  _Nena Peralta vda de Rusca, 1913._

It was of Nena herself in the flesh - features sharpened and lined by the years - facing down a taller, bearded man wielding a revolver, in what appeared to be a garden. The sketch was not perfect and yet he could see the resemblance to his past wife and the woman he was now  _trying_ to woo.

A sudden tingling jolt ran down his spine. "Putangina," was all he could say, hands shaking.  _Sinong gumawa nito?_ His hands were shaking.

The notebook didn't seem to be  _that_ old, though.

Joven still looked grim. "Tignan mo yung susunod na page."

The goosebumps on his arms began to rise as he flipped to the next page - that of a young man holding his wife in his arms, smears of what could be blood on his face. It was labelled  _Rafael Rusca, 1913._

"Pakshet. Sinong gumawa nito?" he asked breathlessly.

"Hindi ko din alam. Walang pangalan pero tignan mo yung sa likod." Joven seemed on edge too.

He complied and stared at the fancy handwriting on the back of the journal. " _Hamlet_. Anong Hamlet?" He had vague memories of memorizing  _To be or not to be_ in high school.

Joven shrugged. "Yan lang yung laman ng notebook maliban dun sa dalawang drawings." He paused thoughtfully before continuing. "Baka may kinalaman siya sa pagkamatay ni Nena."

He felt an odd ringing in his ears. He couldn't breathe, couldn't think clearly. He promised that he would never cry - the wind never did - but there he was, weeping. It was an era long gone and yet he knew that it was a big deal for him. Thankfully Joven was sensitive enough not to say anything, leaving him to his grief and confusion. Why did Nena die? Was that man her uncle from Iba? Was their son a witness?

**Sunday, 12-27-15, 1:00 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

He couldn't sleep that night. He found himself in the living room, his PC powered on and searching for all obscure references regarding the Shakesperean play. He even tried to read the script word for word, fighting hard with his small attention span just to be as meticulous as possible.

So far he found nothing. Switching between browser tabs, he had to lean back and close his eyes for a few seconds to dispell his headache.

_Nena, wag mong sasabihing naging Ophelia ka sa Hamlet ko. Nauna akong namatay sayo._

He didn't notice that someone padded to the living room until Etong Enriquez tapped him on the shoulder. He nearly fell out of his seat and glared at the hacker. "Huy, tangina akala ko may killer nanaman," he scoffed.

Etong raised an eyebrow and sat beside him. "Alam mo ba anong oras na?" he asked.

"Malamang." Rusca pointed to the small clock on his taskbar. "May hinahanap lang ako."

"Hindi na ba makakapaghintay bukas?" Etong grabbed the mouse from him and started to read the text on the browser. "Hamlet? Tangina kelan ka pa naging interesado kay Shakespeare?"

"Mga four hours ago." Rusca glared at him, rubbing his itchy eyes furiously. "Ano ba? Bakit nakikialam ka?"

"Kasi naman baka may maitulong din ako." Etong shrugged and pointed to the journal on the other man's lap. "Ano bang nangyari? Yan ba yung nakita ni Joven kanina sa basement?"

He nodded and opened the pages containing the sketches. "Tignan mo."

Etong stared at the drawings, a small frown on his face. "Asawa mo to dati diba? Sino si Rafael, anak mo?"

"Oo." He was shaking again. There he was, thinking it was all under control. "Kailangan kong malaman anong nangyari sa Zambales. Kaya pupunta ako sa Lunes. Putangina, hindi coincidence ang mga drawing na to. Sigurado ako."

"Pero anong kinalaman nito sa Hamlet?" Etong stared at the other journal pages, which were blank. "Bat yun lang yung laman? Di naman mukhang sobrang tanda yung papel ha."

Rusca shrugged. "Yun nga eh. Walang ibang clue. Di man nga namin alam sinong nagdrawing niyan at bakit nasa basement ng bahay."

Etong eventually went back to sleep, leaving Rusca still drowning from the clues left behind for him.  _Walang coincidence pag member ka ng Team Hijo de Puta. Walang wala. Sino - o ano - si Hamlet at bakit may kinalaman siya kay Nena?_

He tried to check if it could be an anagram, but nothing made sense either. He couldn't even decode half the dialogue from the play anymore in his sleep-deprived state. He checked, double checked, triple checked the names of the characters but he couldn't come up with any solid connection either. The closest he could get was a possible reference to Ophelia and madness - it happened among widows, he knew, but if Nena lost her mind he was sure that Julian would have mentioned it.

He eventually conceded that he needed sleep - he could try again in the morning. He powers off his computer and shuffled to his room.

_Alam kong may makukuha akong sagot sa Zambales - nararamdaman ko yun - pero pakiramdam ko na hindi lang ako ang may kinalaman sa may ari nung journal. Sino ka ba at ano pang alam mo tungkol sa tropa namin?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be or not to be? That is the question: whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune - or to take arms against a sea of sorrows; and by opposing, end them, to die; to sleep no more.


	17. Fire in the Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rusca ends up in a lull between some action.

_They were at war with the Americans._

_He wasn't sure how to feel about it - it was definitely different from the revolution against Spain. He wasn't even sure how he ended up becoming a captain but there he was, at the front lines for the first time since his training. It was his first day in actual battle, and he had a feeling that people would be watching. He gritted his teeth, hefted his rifle, and stood beside his fellow soldiers._

_No one expected the skinny baker's son to have the highest killcount - especially since no one believed that he was at least six years older than what he appeared to be. Well, at least no one questioned Luna's offer of promotion that night, nor his new position as one of the general's aides._

_Everyone called him "Kapitan" will all the actual respect that such a position - though still quite lowly within the army - would entail. He still wasn't sure if he deserved any of this, but he was glad that no one was making fun of him anymore._

* * *

_"Ikaw pala yung kinukwento ni Kuya Manuel."_

_Jose Bernal approached him that one starry night in the fields, the camp blissfully quiet for once. The other aide was a little older than him - maybe around Paco's age - and Rusca knew that a lot of the ladies in the camp fancied him. There were also some whispers that he was a widower, though he seemed too young and carefree for that._

_"Kinukwento?" Rusca asked him politely, afraid of offending the other man. He knew that Jose was his senior despite the fact that they both technically held the same rank._

_Jose smiled and handed him some bread. "Balita ko paborito mo ang ensaymada," he said cheerfully. He stared at the sky with a grin. "Akalain mo nga naman na kapitan na din yung batang tinawanan nila noon matapos niyang mabaril sa labas ng kampo ano?"_

_"Salamat." He smiled and shrugged. "Nagkataon lang ho siguro na sinuswerte ako."_

_"Sumusugal ka rin ba, Eduardo?" the other captain asked after a while._

_Rusca shook his head. "Naku, hindi ko po gawain yun."_

_"Bakit ganyan kang magsalita? Hindi naman ata nagkakalayo ang edad natin." Jose's smile was a little wistful and sad. He stared at the starry sky again - darked streaked with red. "Hindi ako sumusugal sa pera. Sumusugal ako sa kapalaran." He shrugged. "Kung malas, malas. Kung swerte, swerte. Kaya nga nanatili akong kawal eh. Ikaw ba, bakit pinili mo yung ganitong buhay? Balita ko'y may asawa't anak ka na."_

_"Meron nga." Rusca stared at the sky, wondering why it fascinated Jose so much that night. He was the wind, and the wind went where it pleased. "Noong una para lamang ito sa paghihiganti - pinatay ng mga Kastila ang isa sa mga kababata ko, ang ama at kapatid ko. Ngayon pinili kasi gusto kong patunayan sa sarili ko na hindi mali ang pag-alis sa Arayat... at na kaya kong panindigan ang landas na pinili ko."_

* * *

**Sunday, 12-27-15, 09:00 AM, Angeles City Proper**

He barely slept and knew that he looked terrible, but then again he had work that day and also had to take care of Goyong's driving lessons. How a one hundred forty year old man failed to learn something as basic as that never made sense to him. At least he was a fast learner, quickly learning  _what_ exactly the different parts were for.

He knew he shouldn't be bringing his friend to a main road for his lessons - even though they were two days in - but he wanted to see just how the boy general would react to it and they were on their way to work anyway. Goyong's driving was still a bit wobbly, but he did survive McArthur Highway and the streets in the city proper without causing any vehicular accidents. It was slow going with an unusually anxious student but he loved seeing his friend sweat nervously.

"Basta siguraduhin mong tinitignan mo lahat ng nasa paligid mo," he instructed with a smirk when they stopped to let a couple of pedestrians cross the road.

Goyong nodded, a small frown of concentration creasing his face. "Takte naman, ang hirap palang magmaneho," he commented.

"Sa umpisa lang yan." Rusca leaned against the backrest of his seat, letting out a hiss of breath.  _Ikaw pre, may alam ka ba tungkol kay Hamlet?_ He couldn't voice out his question though, as he might end up breaking his friend's concentration. He didn't want to cause an accident so early in the morning. "Masasanay ka din." He checked his watch. They still had a few minutes left and might end up late for work, but better safe than sorry. 

They eventually reached the church area. Goyong glanced at the traffic lights' timer, which showed five seconds.

"Uy, wag kang beating the red light," Rusca warned.

Goyong ignored him and sped up - almost hitting the woman crossing the street. He hit the break just in time, and Rusca groaned when he hit his head on the window.

"Tangina mo bebelabs."

The woman they almost hit glared at them and fumbled at the arnis stick case slung across her back. Something glinted as she pulled out a legitimate eskrima sword - he hasn't seen anything like those in years - and stalked toward the car.

"Bebelabs, park ka muna," Rusca murmured, pointing to the small spot by a convenience store.

Goyong nodded nervously and complied. He barely managed to pull up before the woman pounded on the glass window. He let out a yelp when he took a good look at her.

Rusca squinted as he didn't find her familiar. She was maybe a little younger and of average height - maybe the same height as Goyong himself, her hair dyed multiple vibrant colors. She was dangerous in the way that he perceived Jay to be - uncontrollable and wild. She was the storm to his friend's fire.

Goyong was visibly shaking in terror when he pulled down the window, eyes wide. "S-Sorry, miss," he began. "Akala namin mahahabol yung red light."

The woman brandished her sword angrily. "Eh pano kung hindi mo agad napigilan yung sasakyan mo? Pano kung nasagasaan ako, ha?"

Rusca laughed nervously. "Ate, pasensya ka na ha? Medyo matigas kasi ulo ng tinuturuan ko."

The woman stared at him with her canted dark eyes. Rusca wondered whether taking responsibility for the mishap was a good idea. "S-Siguro mapapagusapan naman natin to sa kape? Libre ko, tutal dun sa Tea-rad Pass din naman kami nagwowork."

The woman laughed at that. The tension in her body eased and she returned her sword to its case.  _"Buri daka." Gusto kita._ She gave Goyong another look before turning back to Rusca. "Cristina del Rosario nga pala. Tea-rad Pass? Saan yun? Pasensya na, hindi ako taga-dito."

They parted after giving her the directions to the cafe.

Goyong turned to Rusca, his face pale. "Tangina," he said weakly. "Si Tina..."

"Ano yan, reincarnation ng ex mo?" asked Rusca. He raised an eyebrow at his friend, wondering just how many of his ex lovers were running around in their new lives.

"Worse, Ruscababes, worse." Goyong rubbed his forehead, looking as ancient and as timeless as a statue for a moment. He had a tendency to do that whenever he was trying to hide his real emotions. "Jowa ni Kuya Julian yun."

Rusca felt the hair in his arms prickle into goosebumps. He deliberated again on whether to talk about the fact that Julian del Pilar and the former Julio Nakpil were running around Angeles. He decided to be vague about it until he knew if Goyong would actually appreciate his brother's presence.

"Malay mo andyan lang kuya mo, pakalat kalat," he said cheerfully.

**Sunday, 12-27-15, 10:00 AM, Tea-rad Pass**

He ended up manning the cashier as he was too sleepy to be trusted with baking that day. It wasn't a busy day, anyway, and he actually dozed off twice in the past half hour already. Goyong had to whack him in the head with a rag to wake him. He didn't really mind, as he knew that he _did_ have to stay alert.

He was exhausted. Too exhausted. He was starting to regret the fact that he stayed up late - too late - the previous night when he knew that he had work the following day. He turned in at one in the morning and did not fall asleep until more than three hours, after all.

The wind chimes by the cafe door opened, and the woman from earlier that day - Tina - stepped in. She was still every bit as intimidating, despite being dressed in a simple black shirt and camo pants. She caught him looking and headed straight for the counter. Her colorful hair drew looks the way that Jay's vivid red hair did, and Rusca wondered whether that could ever be considered a good thing.

She grinned at him and Goyong and drummed her fingers on the counter. "Latte with milk tea and boba," she announced.

Goyong seemed to flinch at her order. Rusca meticulously typed it down - well, that was his job, after all - and smiled at her. "Yun lang, miss?"

"Tina nalang." She was still grinning in that awfully familiar intimidating manner.

"Noted. Welcome to Tea-rad Pass nga pala." Rusca accepted her payment with a smile.

Goyong was still rooted to the spot, squinting at Tina warily. "Latte... with milk tea and boba?"

"May problema?" asked Tina. "Ba't ganyan kang tumingin?"

"Wala. Wala." He turned away and worked on her order.

Jay stepped out of the kitchen, filling the room with the scent of sweets and baking bread. She places a tray of bread on the glass display case and looks up. She blinks and stares at Tina. "Ah, hello!" she said. "New customer? Welcome sa Tea-rad Pass."

Tina beamed at her. "Salamat. Tina del Rosario."

None of them spoke until Tina finished her drink, thanked them, and walked away.

"Si Ate Tina yun," Jay finally said reverently. "Y-Yung girlfriend ni..."

"Kuya Julian," Goyong agreed. "Kung nandito siya, ibig sabihin ba nareincarnate din ang kuya ko?" There was an awfully familiar, wistful look in his eyes - the look of a soldier who had been in war for so long and simply wanted to go home.

Rusca looked down, deliberating whether to give out the small bits of information he had, or not. On one hand, it might give Goyong some closure in regards to his family. After all, his friend apparently was too afraid to find out what happened to his siblings and their descendants. From what he heard, Goyong was never even in Bulacan except when passing through on his travels.

"Kung nareincarnate ba Kuya mo, anong gagawin mo?" Rusca finally asked.

Goyong shrugged. "Kayo na ang pamilya ko," he said in a hoarse whisper. Well, that was true. The entire team was a family by choice. "Kahit dumating man sa Angeles ang reincarnation ng mga kapatid ko, hindi ko parin kayo iiwan. Hindi nama nsa isasara ko ang pintuan ko sakanila... pamilya parin naman siguro sila kahit papano pero..." He shook his head.

Jay took her boyfriend's hand. "Ang sweet mo naman, gago."

Rusca rolled his eyes at their display of affection.  _Makakuha din kaya ako ng lakas ng loob na hawakan yung kamay ni Nena bukas?_ "Nasa Angeles si Julian."

The couple's stares were identically sharp. His legs felt like jelly as their commanding presence focused upon him.  _Pakshet. Think before you s peak, diba?_

"Nandito ang kuya ko?" Goyong asked.

Rusca nodded slowly, cautiously. "Nandito siya sa Angeles at may kakambal na siya ngayon - si Julio Nakpil? Yung best friend noon ni Ka Andres? Sakanya ko nalaman yung nangyari kay Nena, kaya pupunta ako ng Zambales bukas."

No one spoke for a while, and thankfully the cafe was empty at the mtoment. It really was a slow day, and for once it meant they could talk freely about their subjects such as their misadventures without having to wait for their shift to end.

Goyong eventually broke the silence. He didn't seem upset by the news. "Kaya ba hindi mo sinabi sakin kasi akala mo magaaway kami?" He smiled sadly and shook his head. "Pinauwi ko siya ng Bulacan. Nakiusap ako na wag na siyang lumaban. Sabi ko pakasalan na niya si Ate Tina. Pinahanap ko ang mga libingan niyo ng mga Bernal. Pinasigurado ko na ligtas si Nena." He trailed away and sighed. "Hindi ako galit sakanya. Nagtataka lang ako kung ano ang nangyari sakanya at bakit parang hindi niya nakuhang hanapin ang mga libingan niyo."

"Nahanap niya yung akin," Rusca murmured, his voice suddenly breaking. He quickly suppressed the urge to tear up. Hindi na ako bata para maging iyakin. "Sinigurado niyang magkasama kami ni Nena, kahit sa ganung paraan lang."

Goyong smiled. "Naiintindihan ko naman." He looked down. "Naaksaya kong masyado ang aking oras sa kakatakbo sa nakaraan."

"Wala na yun. Past is past." Jay grinned. "May bukas ka pa, ibawi mo nalang dun."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Handa na ba kayo para sa Zambales?????


	18. 7,8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rusca nearly ends up in another accident.

_The sky was red that night._

_The scent of fire and smoke seared his lungs, brought tears to his eyes._

* * *

_He received news that the residents of his barangay have fled to bigger and safer territories farther down the mountain. He had no time to check in and get news about them, though he exchanged a few letters from Nena who was living with some relatives in El Pueblo de los Angeles._

_The path he took around the foot of Mt. Arayat feelt awfully painful. The woods around him should have felt like home, but he was simply a soldier in an unfamiliar battlefield now. It was just a message to General Mascardo and yet it felt like something bigger than that. He was walking near his hometown but everything felt far - too far. He wanted to go home - even if no one was waiting for him their except for the shadowy husk of the memories he cherished._

_He left his childhood home once and became a man. He left it the second time and he became a soldier._

_He stayed back a while at the edge of the town, watching the festivies play out in front of him. He was reminded of a different fiesta, what felt like lifetimes ago. So many things have happened since then. So many lessons have been learned - some of them in the harsh way that life often went by in order to wake someone up._

_Removing his hat, he finally stepped into the vibrant colors and music and a myriad other sensations that accompanied the time honored festivities. He allowed himself to drown in the moment, let it wash over him and remind him - if a little painfully - of an era long gone._

_A number of young ladies eyed him as he passed. He gave them polite smiles, nothing more. He knew that they wouldn't have given him a second glance if he was not clad in a soldier's uniform, the officer's markings upon his clothes. He still looked skinny and underfed, after all, despite his frequent binge-eating._

_He steeled himself, trying to wrap the aura of an army captain around himself. It never worked - he was merely comic relief. It wouldn't hurt to try as he would be talking to a hard headed person. His general entrusted him with a task, and he would fulfill it with the best of his abilities._

* * *

**Monday, 12-28-15, 2:00 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

He woke up early - too early. He wasn't supposed to leave and fetch Nena for another hour but the sudden hurricane in his thoughts meant that he would never be able to resume his sleep. He decided to take a shower, hoping that the frigid water and cool temperature would actually calm him. He had an odd feeling that there was danger lurking in Zambales - or the road en route to it - and he had to be prepared.

He packed at least three days' worth of clothes. He wasn't sure how long it would take for him to locate the tomb, and he had to wait for Nena to finish whatever business she had in the area. He hoped he had enough time to go sight seeing, though. He'd never been in that area before.

Someone was waiting for him downstairs - Goyong, dressed in his crumpled sleepwear, his hair sticking up on odd angles. He stood up as he noticed Rusca, a small box in hand. He smiled wearily and held it out. Inside was one of the three knives that worked against a doppleganger -  _Bagwis,_ Andres Bonifacio's weapon. Rusca only saw it once - the day after he met the Supremo's doppleganger and nearly had his throat crushed by the monster.

"Anyare?" he asked. "Diba kay Ka Andres ya, bebelabs?"

Goyong shrugged. "Baka kailanganin mo. Pasensya kana, Ruscababes. May nararamdaman kasi akong mangyayari sa Zambales. Binigay ni Ka Andres sakin to nung Pasko."

Rusca raised an eyebrow as he accepted the box. "Sa tingin mo may haharapin din akong anino?" He knew that he learned a lot during their practce sessions, but he was still nothing compared to Jay or even Goyong. "Pre, alam mo namang hindi ako badass, diba?"

"Akala mo lang yun." Goyong smiled and patted his friend's head. "Tandaan mo, nilalampaso mo ako sa sparring, _dios mio patatas_."

"Hindi ko alam kung feeling Miss Bulgaria ka lang o legit yan," he pointed out. He shrugged and pinched his friend's cheek. "Bantayan mo silang lahat habang wala ako ha?"

Goyong laughed. "Basta ba ikaw." He motioned to the door. "O siya, baka hinihintay ka na ng legit na bebelabs mo. Ingat ka."

_Kanino - o saan ako mag-iingat?_

**Monday, 12-28-15, 3:00 AM, McArthur Hiway**

Nena was waiting for him outside her home. She gave him a warm smile when she took the passenger seat. "Nako, on time ka pa talaga," she told him.

He smiled at her and couldn't help but stare and stare. He hadn't seen her since Christmas, and it felt like he hadn't beheld the sun in a very long time. He had to blink twice to get the ridiculous grin off his face. "Long time no see kasi eh," he said cheerfully. "Kamusta naman yung biyahe mo sa Arayat?"

She chuckled. "Magaling na si Lola."

"Ano nga bang gagawin mo sa Zambales?" he asked.

She smiled. "Actually... um..." She scratched her cheek. "Ed, naniniwala ka ba sa reincarnation?"

"Tatawanan mo ba ako at tatawaging baliw kung sinabi kong oo?" he probed. He was afraid - too afraid, of where the conversation was going. "Kasi... oo naniniwala ako sa reincarnation - at sa ibang supernatural na bagay."

She smiled. "Ed..." She pulled out a book - an actual, legitimate  _Joven Hernando_ history book. He knew that those could be bought in most bookstores, he never expected her to lug one of those around - especially the one he wrote about Antonio Luna and the Fil-Am war. "May kapangalan ka sa mga aide ni General Luna."

"Ancestor ko nga siya." Well, that was true, meaning that he was reincarnated as his own descendant. "Sakanya nga ako ipinangalan ng tatay ko."

"May brief na summary dito ng alam ni Mr. Hernando tungkol kay Eduardo Rusca at Carmena Peralta. Mag-asawa daw?" she probed. "Tignan mo, kapangalan pa natin sila."

The hair on the back of his neck prickled - something big was about to happen, but he knew that they would still end upon in Zambales. Somehow. "Naaalala din kita." She leaned back and closed her eyes. "Anak ka ng panadero sa kabilang bayan."

"At nagkita tayo sa fiesta sa bayan niyo," he continued with a fond, wistful smile. Deep inside though, his mind was going wild with the revelation that she  _actually remembered the past._ "Naalala mo lahat yun?"

"Halos." She made a face. "Pinakahuling naaalala ko na medyo klaro eh yung pagbisita ni Heneral del Pilar - descendant ba niya yung barista niyo?"

"Medyo complicated si Greg." Rusca laughed in relief. She remembered. She  _remembered. She remembered._ "Yun ba yung reason kung bakit ang friendly mo nung nilapitan kita?"

She smiled. "Parang ganun na nga."

He looked away, feeling warmth spreading in his cheeks. "Ah, yun din yung dahilan kung bakit lumapit ako sayo nung una. Pero akala ko talaga hindi mo naaalala."

She shook her head, the beatific smile still on her face. "Maraming namamatay sa maling akala."

The exhiliarating feeling of realizing that she remembered their past suddenly filled him at that moment. As much as he wanted to finally drive off, he couldn't move a muscle. His heart was hammering angrily in his chest and he felt his mind buzzing in excitement. "Teka, bakit ka pa pupunta sa Zambales?"

"Ikaw, bakit ka ba pupunta dun?" she countered.

"Gusto kong malaman kung anong nangyari sayo sa Zambales. Alam kong lumikas kayo papuntang Angeles, tapos dinala kayo sa tiyo mo sa Zambales ni Koronel del Pilar." He shrugged. "Nakalibing daw tayo ng magkasama dun."

She nodded blankly. "Medyo fragmented ang naaalala ko pagkatapos nung pagbisita nung heneral sakin. Di ko alam paano ako namatay. Kaya nga ako pupunta sa Zambales. Baka maalala ko at magkaroon na ng closure."

He blinked. "Ayun naman pala eh. Hinahanap ko yung libingan natin dun."

She took his hand, surprising him even further. "Team tayo ngayon ha? Wag kang mag-alala. "

He smiled and nodded. "Salamat."

**Monday, 12-28-15, 3:30 AM, Korean Town, Friendship Highway**

None of them spoke since he started driving, but there was an odd warmth in the car that had nothing to do with him lowering the air conditioning temperature. He didn't really know the area that much, but well, it was a straight road to Clark Airbase. Besides, it was blissfully empty due to the early hour.

They were ten minutes into the highway when a black car - nearly identical to his, aside from the color - overtook him and and skidded to a stop, blocking the entire side of the road. Rusca slammed his foot on the break and winced.

_Tae, lapitin na ba ako sa aksidente?_

A shock ran down his spine. Nothing was ever a coincidence to people like him. His hand flew to the small box sitting on his lap - the box holding Andres Bonifacio's dagger. The black car's door opened on the driver's side, and someone dressed in all black stepped out. Despite the fact that he was wearing sun glasses even though there was no sun, it was easy to recognize Julian del Pilar's sideburns.

"Pakshet," was all Rusca could whisper.

The man knocked on his window a little worriedly. He pulled down his sunglaesses, displaying his eyebags. "Tangina Ed, kanina pa kita tinatawagan," he growled.

Rusca blinked, still trying to process what exactly was going on. He whipped out the phone from his pocket and saw at least ten missed calls. He looked up again and smiled sheepishly. "Pasensya na, medyo distracted."

"Pansin ko nga." Julian sighed and patted his sunglasses in place. "Tinext ako kahapon ni Joven - hindi ko alam paano nakuha number ko."

The sneaky little piece of work probably got it from his phone while he was sleeping.

"Oh?" Rusca frowned. "Napano?"

"Sabi niya pupunta ka daw ng Zambales at hindi mo naman alam kung saan ka dapat pumunta." Julian's smile widened. "Tama?"

Rusca blinked. He had a point. He could have asked Julian instead of dragging Nena along on a wild goose chase. "Paano mo alam na dito ako dadaan?"

Julian shrugged. "Sinundan ko lang yung kutob ko." It seemed lke he actually the tendency to have good hunches - just like his once-brother. "At medyo naaalala ko yung plate number ng kotse mo."

They eventually agreed to park at the empty space in front of one of the restaurants lining the area. Julian smiled at Nena. "Long time no see, Miss Peralta."

Nena blinked and stared at him. "J-Julian del Pilar?"

"Mismo, madam." He leaned against his car and stared at the starry sky. "Gusto niyo bang ipagmaneho ko kayo papunta sa libingan?"

"Ha?" Rusca stared at his car. "Di naman pwedeng basta ko nalang iiwan yung kotse ko dito."

"Iiwan  _ko_ yung kotse ni Julio dito," Julian corrected him. "Nakatira lang naman kami malapit dito, pwede na niyang lakarin."

Rusca wasn't sure how he ended up agreeing to stay on the back seat of his own car, side by side with Nena, but there they were. Julian del Pilar was going to drive them to Zambales and help them look for their own tombs.

_Sana lang may madaanan kaming nagtitinda ng ensaymada._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mukhang lapitin sa aksidente ang kapitahhhn dahil sa mga del Pilar ah. XD


	19. Kundiman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rusca goes hiking... and digging.

_They detained him, the lone survivor, the one who ran away._

_They beat him and jeered at him and locked him up in complete darkness. He knew not how long it went on. They moved from place to place every now and then, but they kept him blindfolded, arms and legs tied, dumped in a wagon under the glare of the searing hot sun. He did not weep. He did not speak. He would never give any satisfaction to the murderers who took the life of his general and his best friend._

_He ran - he knew that. He had to. Someone had to live, someone had to let the rest of the world know, somehow. He knew that they might kill him at any moment. He concealed a small letter addressed to Joven, a small letter written on a scrap of paper, in his own blood._

_Too bad he had no more paper. He could have written something for Nena, too._

_He didn't mind losing his life. He did everything he could for both his country and his family. The general believed that a man could only choose one, but he decided to choose both. And should he die, everyone would know that he died because he wanted to spread the truth about the murders - not because he was craven._

_They still gave him periodic news, for some reason. He heard of the Bernal brothers' deaths. He heard of Joven's detainment in del Pilar's camp. He heard of the President - the traitorous wretch - retreating from Angeles and heading north to Tarlac._

_Not that it was important. He didn't even have any idea as to where he actually was._

* * *

_He wasn't sure if the man who came to him was a harbinger of doom or a way out for him. Julian del Pilar, colonel and aide de camp in his younger brother's brigade, stepped into the small room where the captain was detained. The two men barely knew each other aside from name and faces, making Rusca wonder why someone like him would be visiting a lowly prisoner. The only thing that somewhat reassured him was the fact that Julian had a better reputation than Gregorio._

_They were separated from each other by a makeshift table made of empty supply crates. Rusca sorely perched atop a small box. Julian sat on a barrel and stared at him for a while._

_"Pasensya ka na," was all Julian could say for the next five minutes._

_"Hindi mo naman po kasalanan ito, koronel," Rusca said carefully, afraid to offend the man. Though he is more personable and definitely kinder than his brother, he would still be loyal to his general and the president._

_Julian leaned forward. "Hindi namin agad nalaman na hindi ka nila pinatay. Hinahanap ka ng kapatid ko."_

_"Upang ipabitay? Gaya ng ginawa ninyo sa mga Bernal?" Rusca spat out._

_Julian flinched. "Sa tingin mo ba ginusto ko ang ginawa namin?" he asked quietly. He was silent for a while - though it seemed like he was struggling to rein everything in."Matalik na kaibigan ko si Manuel. Alam mo bang sabay kaming sumali sa Katipunan? Alam mo bang ako ang tumulong sa kanyang manligaw kay Gabriela? Nabalewala lahat ito dahil napilitan kaming sumunod sa utos ng Presidente."_

_Rusca wondered just how applicable General Luna's words were. "Bayan o sarili? Kapag minsan siguro'y nasa sitwasyon na din ito," he mused quietly. "Bakit ka nandito, Koronel?"_

_"Ipinatatawag ka ng aking kapatid," Julian said. When he peered at Rusca, a flicker of something darker stirred in the depths of his brown eyes - as if he was struggling to kill off his emotions and was failing miserably. "Nandito ako para dalhin ka sakanya._

* * *

**Monday, 12-28-15, 6:45 AM, Cabusilan Mountains**

They headed for the mountains instead of taking the main road for Iba. Julian seemed tense as he drove, his fingers drumming nervously whenever they were stalled by the heavy traffic. He actually had to stop as they veered to a side road that apparently was used mostly by prospective hikers. They parked on a small grassy field, right beside a sleek, black motorcycle. Julian glanced at the mountains looming over them.

"This is it na," he said quietly.

"Bakit nandito tayo? Akala ko bang sa Iba ako namatay?" asked Nena.

Julian peered at her, lowering his sunglasses and raising his eyebrow. "Wala naman akong sinabing dun ka ipinalibing ng anak mo." His eyes flicked sadly to the mountains. "Ayaw niyang maging public yung libingan kaya dinala namin dito. Hindi naman niya pinaliwanag sakin kung ano talaga ang nangyari."

Rusca hopped out of his car and stared at the mountain pass. "Masasagot yan dito, sigurado ako." He didn't talk about the journal yet, waiting for the right time to pull it out and show them.

Was Nena killed by her own uncle?

Nena smoothed down her jogging pants and grinned. "So maghihiking ba tayo?" She motioned to Julian, who was dressed for a day in the mountains and was busy unloading his backpack and what looked like a drink cooler.

Rusca stared down at his loose jeans and tightened his belt. "Punyeta naman."

He had to run into the woods to find a secluded place where he could change into his most comfortable clothes - cargo pants and his shirt. He decided to keep his running shoes and grabbed his fluffy hoodie just in case it got cold. As he collected his things and prepared to head back to the parking area, a sudden chill shot down his spine. Someone was watching him - and it wasn't friendly.

_Punyeta, wag mong sasabihing may iba pa ngang anino._

He shook his head and jogged down the small path he made, back to their base. Julian nodded to him. "Ready ka na?"

He smiled grimly. "Bring it on."

**Monday, 12-28-15, 8:00 AM, Cabusilan Mountains**

"Nung sinabi nilang magexercise tayo tuwing umaga, hindi naman ganito ka-harsh ang navisualize ko," he complained to his companions.

Nena giggled.  _"Kabilis mu palang papagal ne?" Ang bilis mo palang napapagod no?_

"Ang haba haba na kaya ng nilakad natin!" He motioned to the path they were taking. "Sigurado ka bang dito yung daan?"

Julian nodded, though he seemed a little unsure. "Madaming pinag-iba mula nung umariba yung Pinatubo eh." He brushed some of his hair away from his face. "Pero sigurado akong dito banda yun."

They stopped for a breath of air in a small clearing. A small stream ran between the trees, while birds chirped right above them - a beautiful sight, if not for the fact that Rusca still felt like someone unfriendly and maybe even dangerous was watching. He suppressed a shudder that had nothing to do with either the cool air or the draining activity.

"Gusto kong malaman kung ano yung tinitira ni Rafael at sobrang liblib yung libingan namin." He grabbed a bottle of water from Julian's cooler and stared at their guide. "Tangina, prepared na prepared ka sa field trip ano?"

Julian snickered - and stopped when his phone rang. He switched it on and put the call on speaker phone. "Julio," he began in a singsong phone.

"Alam mo bang may gasgas yung sasakyan ko?" his twin complained.

"Bro, alam mo namang mahal kita," Julian retorted with a sheepish grin.

"Ganyan ka naman palagi eh!" the other brother complained. "Parang yung puso ko, gagamitin mo hanggang mawasak tapos iiwanan mo."

Julian was turning redder by the second. He stared at his companions, as if asking for help. "Hoy gago pareho tayong NGSB. Babayaran naman kita."

Julio sighed morosely. "Mababayaran pa ba yung sakit na dinulot nito sakin?"

"Pre, ang emo pala ng kapatid mo," Rusca noted thoughtfully. "Hindi ba sumasakit ulo mo?"

Nena grinned. "Nakakatuwa nga siya eh."

"Hoy, si Ed ba yun? Kinidnap ka ba ng kapatid ko?" asked Julio. "Siguraduhin mong uuwi ng pilay to ha? Teka, wag mong sabihing nagtanan kayo!" He paused and sighed. "Sige, tatawag ako mamaya. Bye na muna."

The three were silent for a while.

Julian decided to break it with a chuckle. "Ganun lang talagang magsalita yun. Akala niya gumaganti ako kasi nabangga niya yung kotse ko."

Rusca was spared from having to think of a response when  _his_ phone rang. He winced when he saw Goyong's name, and put it on speakerphone to surprise Julian. "Yo," he started.

"Tangina mo Ruscababes, hindi ka nagtetext samin kung nasaan ka na!" Goyong growled from the other line. "Halos sakalin ako ni Joven dito."

Julian spit out the water he was sipping. "Dios mio kamote, si Gregorio ba yan?"

Goyong let out a choking cough. "H-Hello from the other side!"

Rusca snickered. "Bebelabs, kinidnap ako ng kuya mo - ay, ex-kuya pala."

"Buhay si Gregorio?" Julian asked, stunned. "At dyowa mo siya? Akala ko pa naman si Nena ang chickababes mo."

"Si Heneral del Pilar ba talaga yun?" Nena added. "Yung barista niyo?"

"Hoy threesome ba kayo diyan?" Goyong asked.

"Bebelabs, gago ka, naghihiking nga kami dito oh." Rusca rolled his eyes though his friend wouldn't see it. "Tignan mo, akala pa tuloy ng kuya mo legit na bebelabs kita."

Goyong laughed. "Gago. Baka nakakaabala pa ako, ibigay mo kay kuya yung number ko para makausap ko ha?"

Rusca nodded and grinned. "Hahalikan sana kita pero no homo."

"Tangina mo din. Byee!" Goyong hung up, still in the middle of the laughter.

Julian was still staring at him. "Si Gregorio yun!"

"Si Gregorio nga!" Rusca shook his head. "Gago lang talaga yun, hayaan mo na."

"Teka, kung buhay si Gregorio bakit hindi siya nareincarnate na kapatid ko?" Julian adjusted his sunglasses and stared at him grimly. "At bakit hindi mo sinabi?"

"Not my secret to tell, brad." Rusca shrugged. "Ibigay ko nalang number niya, siya na magpapaliwanag."

**Monday, 12-28-15, 10:15 AM, Cabusilan Mountains**

The woods gave way to the rocky outcrops scoured clean of plant life by the ash and lahar that peppered the area from the volcanic eruption. A small muddy creek flowed nearby, and they had to hop over some rocks to get past it. Julian frowned at the area, rubbing his forehead in frustration. Rusca could feel something odd from the area - as if he was standing over his own grave.

"Dito yun eh." He kicked stomped on the ground. "May maliit na parang cave entrance dito. Pakshet, natabunan na ata ng lahar."

Nena knelt down, her slender fingers brushing the sandy ground. "Maghuhukay ba talaga tayo dito?" she mused.

Rusca locked eyes with her and wondered if she could feel what he did - not just the unease, but also the fuzzy warmth whenever he beheld or thought of her. It was mad, thinking about it at a moment like this, but it was beyond his control already. He was madly head over heels in love with her.

She beamed as she took in his gaze, at it felt like his heart was catching fire. He wasn't sure how long it took for him to smile back, but he momentarily forgot their dilemma. He was facing her, he was in love, and he had yet to confess what he was feeling for her in their present life.

_Wala, wala akong alam._

He wanted to confess - he was sorely tempted. He wanted to do it right, though. He wanted to do everything correctly, to find closure first. He wanted to make sure that his past life remained a closed - and resolved - book before he let her know what he really felt for her. He wanted to prove to her - and himself - that whatever he was feeling in the present was not being affected by everything they shared in their past lives.

_Handang handa na akong tumalon sa kawalan para sayo. Hindi ko na iintindihin kung kakapit ka ba, sasamahan ako, o iiwanan sa ere. Kailangan ko lang siguraduhin na hindi na magiging pabigat yung nakaraan natin._


	20. Shiver

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rusca discovers his spider senses.

_He didn't feel like a prisoner anymore. All of his bonds have been loosened the moment that he stepped out of the Kawit Brigade's camp. He knew that he would never be truly at ease in the presence of the president's men, but there was something assuring about Julian del Pilar's presence. He hoped he could have said the same for Gregorio, but alas, he could not. Everyone now knew just how much of a demon the child-like general was._

_"Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit pinahahanap ka ni Gregorio," admitted Julian. "Marami na siyang tinatago - kahit sa akin - magmula nang mabalitaan niyang..." He shook his head sadly. "Kahit sina Vicente at Adela ay hirap na din sakanya."_

_They arrived at camp late that night. He wasn't really sure where they were but he heard Julian mention that they were in Pangasinan. The soldiers in the brigade leered at him - as if excited to deal with another prisoner. He was led to a brightly-lit hut in the middle of the camp, where a pair of soldiers stood guard._

_One of them couldn't have been older than nineteen or twenty, dressed in loose clothes and bearing the insignia of a colonel. The other was a woman of the same age, intimidatingly pretty - though she had nothing on Nena, noted Rusca. He didn't even care if he was biased._

_He missed his wife and his son._

_"Kapitan Rusca," the woman said in a business-like tone. She turned to Julian. "Koronel, ayaw magpaabala ng heneral ngunit maaari daw munang manatili dito ang Kapitan kasama noong batang manunulat."_

_"May babae nanaman bang kasama ang kapatid ko?" Julian asked tiredly._

_"Hindi na dapat tinatanong yan," the woman shot back. "Mukhang dumalas pa ang kanyang pambababae mula nang makuha niya ang balita tungkol kay Binibining Hernando."_

_"Ginang de los Santos," the young colonel chirped._

_Julian smiled "Siya parin si Binibining Hernando sa puso ni Gregorio."_

* * *

_Joven Hernando, the boy journalist, was waiting for him in the hut. He looked thinner and older than he was two months ago, though he was still as sharply-dressed as ever. He stood up as he beheld the captain, eyes wide in pain and hope._

_"Kapitan Rusca?"_

_The captain in question nodded and sat across the table from Joven. They wept together that night, mourned for the friends and allies and heroes that were lost to betrayal. He narrated the events of that fateful day in Cabanatuan, retold everything he could about what the Kawit Brigade wrought upon him._

_Despite his youth, Joven was a good listener. He took down notes and asked the right questions, yet he never ran out of assuring words._

_Eventually, Rusca was the one who listened to him. He learned that the boy was detained by del Pilar's since Luna's murder. It was apparently for his own safety, but then again everyone knew that the boy general could pull a convincing lie whenever he wanted to. He feared that their lives were now in that demon's hands._

* * *

**Monday, 12-28-15, 10:30 AM, Cabusilan Mountains**

Rusca looked around, trying to point out the exact spot where he felt  _something._ It definitely was like walking on his own grave. Maybe he was. He looked around uncomfortably, rubbing his arms to keep the goosebumps at bay. The odd feeling that someone unfriendly was watching seemed to intensify with every passing minute. He was sure that they weren't the only people in the area.

Julian walked around, eyes closed. "Ito yun, sigurado na talaga ako." He drew an X on the ground with his foot. "Dito banda."

"So... paano tayo maghuhukay?" asked Rusca.

"Good question. Sayang at wala tayong baon na bulldozer eh." Nena winced as she stared at the spot that Julian marked.  _"Ala tamung dadalang pala." Wala tayong dalang pala._

Julian shrugged.  _"Pwede tanamang magbalik bukas, sali tana pa." Pwede tayong bumalik bukas, bili na muna tayo._

Rusca sighed. It seemed like there was no other choice. "Sabi mo eh." He strode toward the area that Julian marked and looked down. It felt like an odd electric charge was running through his body as he did so - he definitely was standing over his own grave.

He knew that there was nothing the be afraid of, as no ghosts would haunt them here.

There feeling of unease dancing through his body intensified into an angry tempest causing havoc upon his thoughts. He stomped his foot on the spot that Julian marked. There it was again, the feeling that he was so close yet so far to his destination - the way to learning what happened to his wife and son.

He could see his companions wandering around the small clearing, as if looking for something. He stayed in his place, feeling the wind caress his face gently. He hoped it actually provided him with better guidance. It wouldn't have been that difficult to move around with a shovel.

"Uy! Tignan niyo to!" Nena waved around from her position behind a rocky outcrop. "Julian, sabi mo kweba yung libingan diba?"

Rusca exchanged glances with Julian, who nodded. "Oo, kweba siya."

Nena smiled widely. "Tignan niyo to."

It seemed like she discovered a small opening by the outcrop - a small opening that seemed to have been made by a shovel. A ladder made of knotted ropes hung through it.

Rusca tugged at it with a small frown. "Hindi pa ganoon katanda. Sturdy naman, kaya siguro ang bigat natin kung isa isa tayong bababa."

Julian nodded. "Weird. Sobrang weird. Per at least siguro makakapag navigate naman tayo diyan ano?"

"Siguro. Kunektado naman yung mga kweba pag ganyan eh." Nena smiled angelically. "Ano, bibigyan niyo na ba ako ng star?"

**Monday, 12-28-15, 11:45 AM, Cabusilan Mountains**

They decided to eat a quick lunch first. They weren't sure how long their spelunking would take, and it would be better for them to be prepared. Julian distributed three flashlights. "Buti pa to inasahan ko na," he noted. "Pero medyo nangingilabot ako."

Rusca nodded thoughtfully. "Sino nga kaya yung naghukay dun? At bakit?" No, he couldn't just rely on coincidence. It never was that  _simple_ for people like him. The odd feeling that they were being watched returned in full force, driving him to a sudden sense of unease.

"Baka naman mga treasure hunters yan." Nena's lip twitched - she herself didn't seem to believe what she was saying. "Alam mo na, parang yung sa Yamashita's treasure."

Julian smiled. "Sige, ganito." He switched on his flashlight. "Mauna ako sa ibaba, ha? Tapos sunod kayo, para siguraduhin ko lang na safe."

"At kung hindi?" argued Nena.

Julian's grin widened. "Ako nang bahala dun."

Before the two could stop him, he leapt through the hole without even bothering to use the rope ladder. There was a loud thump and a groan. "Tangina pre, sabog ka ba?" Rusca called out.

"Ayos lang ako!" Julian called back with a wince. Light filled the cavern, illuminating the natural rock formations inside. Their guide waved to them cheerily. "Diba? O, sino susunod?"

Rusca and Nena exchanged glances. "Ayokong sabihing mauna ka kasi baka isipin mong duwag ako," Rusca began with a nervous laugh. "Pero gusto ko munang siguraduhing oks ka lang bago ako sumunod."

She laughed breathlessly and shook her head. "Ikaw talaga. Alam ko na yun."

She headed for the rope ladder and tested it. She slowly but surely climbed down, a look of extreme focus filling her lovely face. He couldn't tear her eyes away from her - partly because he was mesmerized by the sight of her, and partly because he was starting to worry that the rope might break and she could get hurt.

Relief coursed through him and a huff of breath rushed through his lips. She was fine, she wasn't hurt, and he was an idiot for worrying. He peered at the rope ladder. He wasn't  _that_ tall or musculiar, but the difference still made him considerably heavier than Nena. He hoped that the rope wouldn't give out until he made it down - or hopefully it never gave out  _at all._

He never knew just how afraid he was of falling until he was halfway through, the flickering spark of the flashlights making a play on light and shadow. He had to stop for a few seconds to regain his breath, feeling whoozy all of a sudden. He gripped the rope ladder hard, knuckles white with fear. He took deep, steadying breaths before he proceeded to the last half of his descent, forcing himself to think of other things to prevent his fear from getting the better of him.

Julian nodded to him grimly as he finally step foot on the cavern floor, his soft footsteps making loud echoes in the dark area. He switched on his flashlight, though he felt too anxious to fully give in to his curiosity and look around. The feeling of being watched subsided, but the maddening feeling of stepping on his own grave was stronger than ever, threatening to cloud his thoughts yet again. He took a deep breath and struggled to focus.

"Ed, ayos ka lang ba?" Nena asked quietly, taking his free hand into hers.

He nodded, trying to focus on her touch and use it as his anchor. "Ayos lang naman ata ako," he murmured shakily. He squeezed her hand reassuringly. "Medyo iba lang yung pakiramdam ko sa lugar na to."

She smiled and squeezed back. "Parang... malapit na tayo, ano?" she mused.

"Oo, parang ganun na nga." He stared at Julian, who stared back. "Ano, bro, tingin mo makakahanap tayo ng daan dito papunta sa libingan namin?" he asked.

"Hindi ko alam kung pano ipaliwanag pero positive ako," Julian said grimly. There was a guilty, distantly sad look in his eyes. "Ed, pasensya na talaga, ha?" He blinked and looked away. "Kung sigurong agad lang akong lumapit sakanila noon..."

"Past is past na," Nena said with a cheeky grin. "At least nagkita kita ulit tayong lahat, diba?"

"Magiging closure para sa ating tatlo to," agreed Rusca. He cast his eyes around the place and nearly jumped when the odd feeling in very being seemed to spike up when his gaze fell on a specific passage. He ignored his companions' stares, combing the area for all visible passages yet again. The same odd jolt struck him when he stared on the same area as before. "Dun oh."

Nena let out a small grunt. "Yun nga."

Julian stared at the two of them, looking baffled. "Ano?"

"Supernatural shit. Pag dumaan tayo sa tunnel na yun, mahahanap natin yung libingan namin." Rusca grinned. "At akala ni bebelabs siya lang ang may superpowers!"

"Anong superpowers?" Julian asked, following him through the passage.

Rusca shook his head. "Si Goyong na magkukwento nun mamaya! Tara, malakas talaga yung pakiramdam ko na may daan talaga dito papunta sa libingan namin."

**Monday, 12-28-15, 1:00 PM, Underground Cavern**

They have been walking through tunnel after tunnel for the past hour, led by Rusca and the odd feeling that the path to his grave was bringing him. He wasn't sure if it was because of the proximity to his old body, or if there was an even more supernatural explanation. Whatever it was, he was definitely grateful for its existence.

He felt like he was about to explode with every step he took, and yet he knew that the odd sensation would eventually go away. He wasn't sure how, or when, but there was no harm in following where it led them to.

They eventually reached a big area whose floor felt softer than the rocky paths that they have been walking on. This place was affected by the lahar and ashes brought by the eruption of Mt. Pinatubo. His body seemed ready to burst into flames the moment he stepped in, and yet a sudden wave of chill settled in his bones.

A small X marked a spot in the middle, where three shovels and a black leatherbound journal lay. Rusca blinked, and he stepped forward, unbidden, to pick up the journal. It was similar to the one that Joven showed him - the one with sketches of his wife and son. He opened the journal and quickly skimmed it. It was only filled with sketches of a beautiful manor and the garden surrounding it - except on the last page.

The last page was a rough sketch of a woman - Nena - lying in what seemed to be coffin, a wreath of flowers on her head. She seemed in pain despite the fact that she was dead and it was simply a drawing. A small note was written at the left hand corner, in that neat handwriting similar to the one from the other journal.

_Eduardo at Carmena,_

_Pasensya na. I could have done more, pero ito na muna sa ngayon ang magagawa ko. You will understand someday. Nagiwan naman ako ng pala dito para man lang makapagumpisa na kayo sa dapat niyong gawin, at tila nakalimutan ni Ginoong del Pilar na baka nakaapekto ang pagputok ng Pinatubo sa mga libingan niyo ni Binibining Peralta._

_P._

Rusca blinked. "Sino si P?" he blurted out. There were actually a lot of questions running in his head, though.

He stared at his companions, who were peering at journal from over his shoulders. They looked as blank and as surprised as he was. He stared at the journal again and felt like his very soul was sizzling.

_Mukhang hindi lang si Goyong at si Ka Andres ang mga supernatural creatures na pakalat kalat ngayon - at mukhang mas madaming alam ito. Psychic ata ang lolo niyo._

__Well, they had ample time to ponder on the mystery man later. They had a tomb to raid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Medyo napahaba ang chapter, hehe. By this week baka matapos na ito huhu. Excited na ba kayo sa sequeeeel?


	21. Us Against the World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rusca embraces the past.

_He met with the general the next day. He had never felt so much hatred in his body before - not even when he heard of his family being murdered, not even when he witnessed his friends being assassinated. Facing Manuel Bernal's torturer and killer was another thing._

_Gregorio del Pilar reportedly had the face of an angel, and the heart of a demon._

_Rusca tried to channel his long dead friends and did his best to remain unfazed as he stared down the boy general's void-like eyes. "Ipinatawag niyo daw po ako, Heneral?" he asked quietly._

_Gregorio quietly stared at him for a few seconds, like a small, graceful predator sizing up a dangerous prey. A grim smile bloomed upon his lips. Ang dinig ko ay isa ka daw sa mga pinakamatapat na kawal ng heneral," he finally said. He was failing in his effort to sound in control._

_"Hindi ko alam kung isang karangalan ang marinig ito mula sa mga labi ng isang tulad mo." Rusca's glare was that of a hunted animal that would not hesitate to fight back once it tires of running._

_Gregorio broke his gaze and pretended to shuffle his papers. His hands shook, as if he was trying to stop himself from saying something. "Isang magiting na kawal ang mawawala sa ating mga hukbo kung ipapabitay kita, Kapitan Rusca."_

_Lies. He could stop himself no more, consequences aside. "Sabihin mo iyon sa mga Bernal. Nasaan na sila ngayon, ha?" He would not weep. He would not mourn. He was too tired._

_Gregorio's gaze was sharp - but not in the way that Rusca expected. There was something afraid and pained and dead in his eyes. "Ginawa ko lamang ang mga ipinag-utos sa akin. Hindi ba't ganoon ka din? Gagawin ang anumang iuutos sa iyo ng namayapa mong heneral?"_

_It was a ruse, all a ruse to get his trust. "Huwag mo akong ikukumpara sa sarili mo, diablo."_

_The general was unfazed by the vehemence of his words, though. "Sagutin mo ako, Kapitan Rusca. Handa ka bang sumali sa hukbo ko?"_

_It took him a while to realize that the mad, hysterical laugh actually came from him. He was too angry and hurt and tired and he just wanted to go home. Sa hukbo mo? Ako? Nahihibang ka na ba, Heneral del Pilar? Pinahirapan mo at pinaslang ang mga kaibigan ko. Mga tauhan mo din ang nanggulpi sa akin nang sumuko ako sa Cabanatuan. Sigurado akong isa kang masunuring aso na sunud-sunuran ng taong nagpapatay kay Heneral Luna."_

_Gregorio looked like he had been slapped. "Nakakalimutan mo ata na isa ka lamang kapitan - isang kapitan na nanganganib ang posisyon - at ako ay isang heneral, Eduardo Rusca. Ngayon, sagutin mo akong muli. Handa ka bang sumali sa akong hukbo?"_

_Fear fully gave way to angry defiance. Rusca lifted his chin. They could humiliate and execute him, but he would never, ever change his mind. He'd rather die with honor than live with lies. Hindi ako sasali sa hukbo mo, diablo. Hindi ako natatakot na tanggalan mo ako ng rangko. Kahit bitayin mo ako, gamitan mo ako ng Artikulo Uno, hinding hindi na ako hahawak ng baril at sasali sa labang ito. Gusto ko nang umuwi. Pagod na ako. Gusto ko nang masilayan ulit si Nena at ang anak namin."_

_Pain flashed across Gregorio's face - pain, guilt, and disappointment mingling together. This one was earnest, that was sure. "_ _Alam ko ang itsura ng isang kawal na hindi na kayang ipagpatuloy ang kanyang ipinaglalaban. Bumalik ka na sa silid mo, Kapitan. Maaari ka nang umuwi pagsikat ng araw. Umuwi kang dala ang rangko mo. Umuwi kang taas-noo. Ginawa mo ang lahat ng makakaya mo at hindi maipagkakait iyon sa iyo."_

_He did not do all that he could. He surrendered to let the world know about the truth. "Nagkakamali ka."_

* * *

**Monday, 12-28-15, 2:00 PM, Underground Cavern**

They have been digging on the lahar for more than an hour. His arms burned from the effort but it kept his mind blissfully blank. He didn't want to think about the person simply known as  _P,_ or why this person had anything to do with his past life. He focused on simply uncovering his grave and the pain that started to build up in his arms. It was often so easy to get distracted but he forced himself to stay on his track that day. He didn't want to dwell on things that he has cannot get any answers for at the moment.

"Maghukay ay di biro," Julian groaned as he stopped to catch his breath. "Tanginang lahar naman to."

Rusca groaned. "Sana pala hindi natin iniwan yung inumin sa labas," he agreed. His arms ached from the exertion but it felt so good.

Nena didn't seem to mind the exhaustion. She even switched on the music player on her phone for some entertainment. Rusca found himself being distracted by the way she actually worked for a short while. He didn't even care about the stupid smile on his face.

It took him a while to realize what he was doing and turned back to his shovel. He dug it into the pile of lahar - and felt it strike something hard. The sudden contact sent a fiery jolt coursing through his body. The fleeting but painful sensation sent him falling to his knees. He knew that he finally found Eduardo and Nena Rusca's final resting place. It felt like a punch to his gut, for some reason. He remained there, on the ground, trying to regain his breath.

"Ed? Napano?" Nena was right beside him in a flash, a hand on his back. "Ayos ka lang ba?"

He nodded and stood up. "Ito na yun," he said, resuming his digging.

They eventually uncovered a massive square slab of rock repurposed for a tomb, huge enough for two coffins to lie side by side. It seemed damaged and chipped by the century that has passed, and the letters engraved on its surface were starting to fade. The names of husband and wife can still be made out, though.

He found it - his final resting place after his untimely demise in the war. He finally found it. He reached out and brushed the grave with his fingers.

It felt like a flash of white-hot fire ran from the tomb, to his hand, and to the rest of his body, making him black out.

_He watched them flee from Arayat to Angeles, Nena carrying a small bundle with a small child - the daughter that Rusca never found out about. He watched them leave the budding pueblo with a sadder Julian del Pilar who seemed damaged by everything he saw in the war and cross over to Zambales._

_He watched his children grow stronger, sadder, and angrier, witnessing the abuse that Nena's uncle, Artemio, inflicted upon his servants... including his own niece. A man always watched his family in the shadows, a dark-haired man of medium hight and angular features._

_He watched his own daughter die of illness at the age of nine._

_He watched his son being humiliated by Artemio in front of the household, being blamed for theft. He watched Artemio threaten to kill the eighteen year old boy, and Nena begging her uncle to stop. He watched Artemio attempt to shoot Rafael... and Nena taking the bullet._

_He saw his own son snap and strangle his mother's killer, right in front of the entire household._

_As Artemio Peralta's nearest kin, Rafael Rusca - half-maddened from grief and hardship - inherited his wealth. As advised by the mysterious man - curiously unchanging for the last thirteen years - he sold all of his uncle's lands and property and moved to the central area of Pampanga to start anew._

**Monday, 12-28-15, 2:30 PM, Underground Cavern**

He was sprawled on the tomb that they were digging, his head on the stone slab. He finally understood everything - his current family's wealth, Nena's death. The unchanging man who hovered near his family since their arrival in Iba bugged him, though. Was there another immortal running around the country?

"Ed, ayos ka lang?" Nena asked softly.

He sat up and decided to forgo everything by wrapping his arms around her. "Patawarin mo ako," he said, slipping into the old cadence of his memories. "Wala ako nung kailangan niyo ako."

Stunned, it took her a while to return his embrace, but she did it with full force. "Hayaan mo na yun, past is past na nga." She reached for her backpack and pulled out a wrapped piece of ensaymada. "Cheer up na."

He smiled and moved back a little. Staring at the tomb one last time, the odd, heavy feeling that he never knew existed finally faded away.  _Closure na ba to?_ He didn't feel like he existed in two eras anymore - he was just Ed Rusca now, a baker and a troublemaker. He finally understood where the past ended, and where the present began.

And he knew what he needed to do for his future.

"Miss Peralta?" he began with a cheeky smile.

"Wedding proposal na ba yan? Hindi ba masyadong mabilis?" she asked him with a laugh. "Biro lang."

He would write the future minus the tragedies wrought upon by coincidences and recklessness and misfortune. He knew he had an entire proper life ahead of him now. He was the wind, and the wind blew only whenever - and wherever - it pleased. And he was a gentle breeze for now, taking everything slowly.

"Baka ganoon din ang abot sa huli, pero ano ka ba? Hindi naman ako sobrang atat," he shot back with a grin. "Magtatanong lang sana ako kung pwede bang manligaw."

She grinned and pinched his cheek. "Tinatanong pa ba yan?"

He took one last glimpse at their graves. He had an odd feeling that he would never be seeing it again. He didn't mind, though. It was the past, and he already closed the book of an era long gone. The wind never dwelled in one place for a long time. No one had ever tried to capture the wind and succeeded. He would be moving forward, forging his own path, and he would not let anyone or anything stop him anymore.

Bad luck be damned.

**Monday, 12-28-15, 4:00 PM, Cabusilan Mountains**

The return trip seemed easier, on account of Julian actually marking their path as they went along. They were tired and grimy, but definitely triumphant. Nena even kindly explained everything to Julian, whose face was filled with guilt. He said nothing, though, merely contemplating everything that he learned about that day.

Climbing up the rope ladder was definitely easier than climbing down.

Rusca's first breath of fresh air after their time underground felt like his  _literal_ first breath.

He didn't have enough time to savor it though. A loud sound - that of a gunshot - rang through the clearing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bem bem! Plat twes!


	22. Blue Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rusca faces a foe.

_Dawn._

_He was free - finally free. He said his final farewell to Joven the previous night, and handed him a letter to Nena. He had a feeling that he would never make it home, somehow. All of that was thrown out of the window when he finally headed out of the hut where he spent the night in, though. All he felt was ecstatic optimism. He would be seeing his wife and son soon. They could be a proper family. He would re_

_He secured his backpack, smoothed his clothes, and headed for the stables. The general told him that he was free to take any of the horses, except the black and whtie pair near the door. He chose a gray one, smaller than the rest and definitely swifter. He saddled it and led it out of the stable just as the sun was starting its fiery dance in the horizon._

_It was a beautiful day._

_He began to move through the camp, a sense of elation brimming through his body. He was going home, finally going home._

_He heard voices shouting in the distance. He barely heard one of them ordering him to halt before a searing, fiery pain exploded between his shoulders. He lurched forward, and heard the sound of more gunshots._

_He had been lied to, betrayed by the general. He had been led to his execution._

_It all happened so fast. Everything was gone in a flash of white._

**Monday, 12-28-15, 4:00 PM, Cabusilan Mountains**

Julian staggered back with a grunt, his right hand on his left arm, which was bleeding profusely. "Daplis lang," he said airily, though he seemed to be in pain.

Ignoring their warnings, Rusca lurched forward, right toward the source of the gunshot, walking in a zigzag to avoid being shot. He hurtled into the cover of the trees, where he spotted a man in a white shirt, camo pants, and a lower face mask. The man raised a gun - an old-fashioned revolver - and pointed it at him. Rusca stopped, breath catching in his throat.

_Putangina naman. Ayoko ng history repeats itself dito._

Neither man moved for a while. His heart hammered angrily in his chest, and his hands shook.

A rock flew out from a tree to the gunman's left, taking him by surprise and striking him in the temple. Nena ran out of her hiding place to the gunman's right and aimed a kick right at his crotch before she brought up her hand to hit his arm and disarm him.

As Nena slid down to grab the gun, Rusca picked up a fallen branch - it wasn't as good as an actual eskrima staff but it was decent enough - and whacked the man in the head. The man seemed unfazed as he managed to push his two foes away. "Maling del Pilar pala," he growled to himself before he sped off into the woods.

The encounter made no sense.

Then again, they had more urgent matters to see to - Julian and his bleeding arm. Julian himself was sitting right behind a tree, looking pale but otherwise fine. His wound was already bandaged securely. Luckily it was just grazed by the bullet. "Putangina, ano yun?" he groaned.

Nena looked back at the trail that the odd assailant followed. "Hindi ko din alam, pero may sinabi siya tungkol sa maling del Pilar."

**Monday, 12-28-15, 7:30 PM, Cabusilan Mountains**

Though weak from blood loss, Julian was still alert enough to lead them through a side path. It seemed like he was so well acquainted with the area that he knew which ones would not intersect with the trail that their assailant followed. It was slow going, but at least they were safe. Rusca still felt on edge, though. He kept the revolver with him, though he knew that he wouldn't be using it against their enemy should he return.

It just felt reassuring to be armed.

Darkness had seeped through the mountain range when they finally reached the base, where their car was parked. An odd chill lingered in the air when they finally helped Julian into the back seat. Rusca revved up the car and sped off into the night. They will just have to ask around for the nearest hospital and get Julian's wound seen to.

There seemed to be a silent agreement for them not to discuss the day's events. It would be better for them to talk about it in Angeles, where everything was familiar and somehow  _safe -_ or as safe as things could be for people like them. Nothing could ever be fully normal or safe for people like them. That was fine by him, though. At least he finally had a shot at a happy ending.

"Hindi na ako dumudugo," Julian announced from his spot. "Pwede na tayong umuwi kung gusto niyo."

"Gago, ipapatingin parin natin yan," Rusca argued. "Baka mapano ka pa."

Nena nodded sagely. "Kahit na hindi na dumudugo, baka magkaroon ka naman ng infection. Better safe than sorry."

**Tuesday, 12-29-15, 6:00 AM, SCTEX**

Dawn.

They were finally on their way home. Julian refused to stay overnight in the hospital after getting some stitches and they ended up sleeping in the car. It wasn't that comfortable, but it was better than what they sometimes ended up in during the war. They were all tired and quiet, and Rusca insisted on getting behind the wheel after treating his traveling companions to a quick breakfast. So many events occured the previous day, and even the ride back to Angeles probably wouldn't be enough for them to process everything that they have learned.

He kept his eyes on the wheel, his mind still a turmoil over all that had transpired - learning the truth, Nena giving him permission to court her, the mysterious person only known as  _P,_ and the assailant who seemed to be looking for one of the del Pilars. He didn't know what to think of first - all of them seemed equally important.

_Pakiramdam ko talaga na the adventure is just getting started. Alam ko din na supporting character lang ako sa mga magiging adventures niyo, pero oks lang sakin yun._

He exchanged glances with Nena, who beamed at him. She still looked as lovely as ever, still  _the moon of his life._ He smiled back before focusing on the road once more.

 _"Sagli namu kanyan, atsu tana Angeles." Sandali nalang niyan, nasa Angeles na tayo._ He smiled at the thought of home - home that seemed brighter and lovelier and warmer after everything that happened the previous day.

The heaviness he never knew that he was holding in his heart now belonged to gravity.

** _Bonus:_ **

**Tuesday, 12-29-15, 8:00 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

It was just supposed to be a normal day for Jose Bernal. Well, at least, a normal  _free_ day, as he had finally resigned from his most recent job. He would be helping his brother out in their joint project - a quaint little bookshop beside Tea-rad Pass - and he wanted to be as hands on as possible.

He was lounging by the bay window, fiddling with some games on his laptop. The sun was shining brightly and Rusca already contacted them, saying that they were on their way home. The entire household was worried the previous day, as they haven't been able to contact their friend for most of the time.

 _Para naman akong tamad na kamote dito._ He was actually supposed to be helping Nonong in some Filipino homework or another, but the boy was still sleeping upstairs.

Sleeping was diffuclt lately, though. Ever since his escapade under the church with Goyong, he had been getting nightmares - about the war, about his death, about  _her._

The others' lovers seem to have been reincarnated - Poleng was with them as Jay, there was Nena, and Goyong was talking about Cristina del Rosario running around. He remembered Poleng and Cristina fondly from his carefree days in Bulacan, before conquest and revolution and death began to follow him.

Those were the days when he didn't gamble with fate every day.

The local postman buzzed by the gate. Being the only person at home who was awake, Jose scrambled out of the house, not caring that he was dressed in a ratty shirt and boxers. He waved at the postman, who nodded. "Mr. Jose Bernal?"

Jose blinked. He  _never_ received letters or packages of any kind. He wasn't registered to things like credit cards or reward programs, and everything he needed could be sent through social media or email. He stared at the package, and it took him a while to realize that he needed to sign a paper acknowledging that he received it.

He turned the package over with a frown. He wasn't sure how long he had been staring at it before he decided to head back into the house. The smell of cooking breakfast already permeated the air by the time he stepped in. Etong Enriquez was in charge of their meal that day as half the house were already in Tea-rad pass, and he waved cheerily when he spotted Jose.

"Oy, akala ko tulog ka pa. San ka galing?" he asked.

Jose shrugged and smiled, brandishing the package. "May... pinadala sa akin. Di ko alam kung ano, o kanino galing."

Etong nodded thoughtfully. "Nakow, baka prank lang yan."

"Baka nga." Jose felt something odd regarding the package, though. It wasn't just a prank, he was sure of it.

He returned to his spot by the window and placed the package on his lap. His name and address were meticulously written on one side - but no information on the sender, not even on the small envelope attached to it.

Speaking of the envelope, it only contained a brief note that definitely  _was not helpful at all._

_Jose_

_Maganda rin sigurong bumalik kayo ni Gregorio sa may paanan ng Ina ng Dagat. May mga bagay doon sa tingin ko ay kakailanganin mo sa mga susunod na araw._

_P_

The package only contained one old, large, faded picture of a wooden coffin being exhumed from what looked like an underground grave.  _J. Bernal, 1956_ was written on the back in smudged ink.

His old body was not buried under the church as they believed... or at least, not anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprised?
> 
> Oo, mga 1-2 chapters and we're all doooone~
> 
> PS: Medyo troll lang yung nakalaban ni Ed, nagpapapansin lang talaga tbh. And kaya hindi na nila hinabol kasi... si Julian talaga huhu.


	23. Panalangin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ed Rusca faces the future without the burden of the past.

_Dusk._

_He remembered everything as he sat under a tree, history book in hand, the purple and silver hues of the sunset sending him ablaze. He stared at the book he was writing a report on, tears falling from his eyes as his memories flashed before his eyes. It was pain - too much pain for a fifteen year old boy who knew nothing of the hardships he endured in another life, in another time._

_It hurt, and it hurt more that he couldn't tell anyone about it. After all, would anyone believe that he was a reincarnated soldier from the Fil-Am War? They would call him mad - oh, his father's family would be more than happy to label him mad so that they could send him away and take his father's money for themselves._

_Well, being his ancestor's reincarnation made sense, too. No wonder he was always bringing bad luck along with him. Wasn't that how Eduardo Rusca ended up dead before his time in 1899?_

_There he was, fifteen years old, and resigned to his fate as an unlucky idiot._

* * *

 

**Tuesday, 12-29-15, 10:30 AM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

He didn't even bat an eyelash when Julian requested to be dropped off on the spot where they met him. He promised to discuss the events in the mountains and their discoveries when he was feeling better. At least Julio - and his scratched car - were waiting for him. At least Nena agreed to accompany him to the team's house, though, which was a good thing.

"Sa makalawa pa lang naman uuwi yung mga magulang at kapatid ko," she told him with a cheeky grin. "Alam mo, hindi mo na sinagot yung ibig sabihin ng favorite drink ko."

"Yung iced almond chocolate frappe ba yan?" he asked as he parked by the gate.

Her grin widened and she nodded. "Alam mo bang ilang araw ko nang inaasahan na iexplain mo sakin yan?"

He chuckled. "Oo nga eh." He paused, as if trying to collect his thoughts, but in reality he was just playing on her anticipation. "Ang sabi ni Goyong, sadyang malambing yung mga mahilig diyan, pero kapag ginalit mo sila o pinagbantaan ang mga mahal nila?  _Mangadi naka." Magdasal kana._

She beamed at him as sweetly as she could, and it felt like his heart would pop out from the sheer beauty of it. "Ed, nagaral ako ng martial arts para diyan."

It took him a while to respond. "Mas badass ka pa sakin. Gusto ko yan."

They stared and stared at each other, their smiles growing, until the sound of the gate opening jolted them out of their gaze. Nonong was waiting for them, arms crossed, looking unusually haggard. Rusca blinked and helped Nena out of the car.

"Oy, long time no see," he told the boy.

Nonong grinned at him. "Tangina mo, Kuya Ed. Di mo kami sinama sa field trip mo! Siguro may ginawa kayo, ano?"

"Gago ka din." He ruffled the boy's hair affectionately.

The Bernals were waiting for them inside the house, along with Etong Enriquez. Manuel seemed intent on waxing the wooden stairs, while Etong and Jose were arguing over some game or another on their laptops.  _Home sweet home._

Everyone looked up when they stepped in, and all eyes fell on Nena, who had been quiet since she hopped out of the car. Not even Nonong questioned her, though he seemed to burn with all the unsaid words. Rusca felt the odd urge to shield her from their stares, but he reminded himself that he was being an idiot, and she could probably beat up all of them without breaking a sweat.

He smiled instead and held out his arms. "Long time no see!"

"Gago," Jose told him with a snicker. "Yan ba yung legit na bebelabs mo?"

Nena grinned and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "Carmena Peralta. Pre-school teacher. Nena nalang for short."

Manuel nodded thoughtfully. "Nice to meet you. Alam mo bang halos ikaw nalang ang kinukwento ni Ed sa amin?"

Rusca looked down, feeling his cheeks burn. "Huy, hindi naman sa ganyan, kuya!"

"Eh ganun naman talaga," Etong argued with a huge grin. "Mukhang tinamaan ka na sakanya, bro."

**Tuesday, 12-29-15, 3:30 PM, Brgy. Pulung Bulo**

They didn't really do much that day, as the meeting wouldn't commence until the rest of the team arrived. Last to join them were those who came straight from their shift in Tea-rad Pass.

Goyong and Joven seemed to be deep in discussion, but Jay simply strode into the house, her red hair looking brighter than before. She grinned at Nena and sat right beside her.

"Pakatatag ka lang. Daig pa nila yung mga chismis magazines kung makapaglagay sa hot seat," she announced.

Nena smiled and shook her head. "Hindi pa naman ata sila ganoon kaharsh."

Goyong stared at Rusca, arms crossed. "Kamusta field trip niyo, Ruscababes? Nasaan si Kuya Julian?"

Rusca felt everyone staring at him. He used to feel uncomfortable about being the center of attention - after all, the wind was everywhere and yet no one paid it any mind unless it wanted to be noticed - but now he was feeling at ease. He even told them of Julian driving them to the mountains, their little trip, and almost being stumped when they realized that the old entrance to the grave was actually ruined by the eruption of Mt. Pinatubo.

He could feel the intense stares of his friends as he continued talking, about the mysterious P who was also the one who probably owned the journal from the basement. He noticed Jose frowning at the mention of the letter, though he filed it away for later. He reached the part where someone tried to shoot them, the short chase that ensued, and prioritizing Julian's wound over capturing their assailant.

When he finished talking, he was surprised to find out that no one actually interrupted him.

Everyone seemed to be deep in thought, trying to comprehend his story. Joven was still busy writing down everything he could about the events, while the others were just staring at him, lost in their own thoughts.

"H-Hindi naman ganoon ka-interesting ang nangyari kumpara ng kay Goyong," he said with a mall laugh.

Joven tapped his cheek thoughtfully, a small frown creasing his youthful face. "Actually,  _interesting ya pin." Interesting nga siya._

Nonong nodded. "Sino siya? Bakit may alam siya tungkol sa mga nangyari noon? At ba't buhay pa ata siya pagkatapos ng Pinatubo?"

"Siguro... adventure and mystery for another day na yun," Rusca said. He'd had his fill of adventure for now. It wasn't exactly like Tomb Raider, no, but he got the treasure he needed - and more. He'd rather just be the supporting sidekick to his friends again. As for mysteries... that wasn't his thing. And he really had a feeling that it was not his to solve - or if it was, he didn't have to solve all of it by himself.

_Tomorrow is another day. Pwede bang magchill muna ngayon?_

Paco was smiling despite everything he learned, though. "At least may closure ka na."

Rusca felt himself grin back. Though he was closer to Joven in his new life, he still felt quite attached to Paco - his oldest and dearest friend from the war. And Paco was right.

He found more than closure. He found a newfound will to write his future without letting it be shadowed by the misfortunes of a distant past.

**Tuesday, 12-29-15, 6:00 PM, Holy Angel Village**

Dusk.

He insisted that he would drive her home.

He knew that she lived not that far away and that she could easily make her way with a jeepney ride or two. He also knew that he would reflect poorly on him - especially now that he was courting her - if he let her commute. Of course, he'd rather see her safe and sound too, especially after everything he'd learned and everything that happened the previous day.

She seemed amused by it all but she graciously allowed him to act as her chaffeur that night. They stopped briefly in a nearby convenience store to buy some candies, and in a bakery for some ensaymada. The sweet smell that wafted in the car felt comfortable, familiar. It was the smell of home - both in the sense of the place he lived in, and the people he considered family because of their bond which felt greater than blood.

And then, of course, Nena had always been home, wasn't she? He may not have realized it quickly, but she was.

They parked yet again right outside her home. It was dark and empty, as its light was right in his car, smiling at him as beautifully as she always did. Her eyes seemed to glitter against the fading sun, her features aglow with its light.

He was tempted to kiss her. He really was. He was in love and yet he wanted to do everything right. He had this painful tendency to make a mess of himself because he never thought things through. He was the wind, and the wind blew where it pleased - but it could hold back when it wanted to, though, and for him that meant deliberating too much until he ended up not doing anything at all.

"Bakit ganyan kang tumingin?" she asked. She didn't sound annoyed, which was always a good sign. As a matter of fact, her smile was growing wider, warmer. "Baka matunaw ako dito."

"Ang ganda mo kasi." Oh, there he was, trying to tell himself to be more cautious. He always seems to end up doing things before thinking them through. He reached out, hesitated, and let his hand fall back. "Sorry."

_"Ot manyad kang patawad nung ala nakamang kasalanan?" Bakit ka humihingi ng tawad kung wala ka namang kasalanan?_

_"Kasi pota ali mu buri ing sasabyan ku." Baka kasi mamaya ayaw mo yung sinasabi ko._

Her smile was blinding by then. She leaned forward, their face mere inches from each other. At least he managed to fight off the urge to shield his eyes from her radiance. His eyes flicked back to her lips, which twitched when she managed to follow his gaze.

"Bakit, gusto mo ba akong halikan?" she asked boldly. Silk hiding steel, that was her.

His heart began to hammer as he deliberated on what to do. There it was again, being put on a standstill by his indecision. He threw caution to the winds - to the side of him that wanted to gamble in life every now and then like Jose Bernal.

"Gusto ko, pero baka ayaw mo," he finally said.

She leaned even closer, tantalizing him. "Sigurado ka ba diyan?"

"P-Parang hindi na," he relented.

"Then by all means, Mr. Rusca, bago kita iwan para magluto ng hapunan." The sunset seemed to be reflected tenfold in her lovely eyes. Everything about her was lovely both on the inside and the outside.

He leaned forward and brushed his lips against her lightly, awkwardly. He would never probably know how to do it right. She seemed to like it enough to kiss him back as lightly as he did, before patting his cheek.

"Ang cute mo parin," she teased.

"Mas cute ka," he argued.

They stared at each other and smiled for what felt like centuries, before her phone buzzed and reminded her that she  _did_ have to cook for dinner, and his phoen rang with a phone call from Joven, reminding him of  _his_ cooking duties that night. They bade their farewells and exchanged another small kiss, and he drove off with a silly, lingering smile on his face.

_Cheesy parin siya, pero naniniwala na akong love can transcend lifetimes._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, pancit! Tapos na ang arc ni Rusca - ang cheesiest, chillest arc ata sa Team Hijo de Puta. Pahinga lang ng unti at magcelebrate ng balentayms, tapos aariba na ang kwento ni Jovenito!
> 
> Tentative title: Looking Glass


End file.
